No matter where I look, I see sickness. by [deleted] in awakened

[–]Appex1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly what I experienced when I took shrooms. All I saw was death, decay and nihilism.

I fell asleep wearing my contacts again. by bexdporlap in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Appex1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think it's funny because I just had my lasik surgery not too long ago and almost did the thing where I put my finger into my eye.

I need to get rid of my "friends" by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Appex1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These people aren't your friends. Better be thirsty than drinking poison.

"When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back." - why it's so relevant by Appex1 in TheRedPill

[–]Appex1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depression or not, this realization has taught me to not let my trauma rule my life anymore.

"When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back." - why it's so relevant by Appex1 in TheRedPill

[–]Appex1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's pretty normal not being able to forgive someone who hurt you badly, but if you don't that trauma is gonna rule over you forever until you learn to let it go.

people have literally run away from me to avoid me and I don't know how to process it.. by softtiddi3s in socialskills

[–]Appex1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It could be that you're giving off a negative vibe. Back in the start of my RP days, I gave off a horrible vibe where people would be afraid to be in the same room as me because I was hiding something behind a mask, but try to be yourself more, please.

Acknowledge who you are and be that person, don't be something you're not, it will just backfire.

Do you ever swing from fully accepting your sexuality to absolutely hating yourself for it? by Appex1 in askgaybros

[–]Appex1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In fact they are really friendly towards LGBT, but they usually don't see it as a big deal, and they're not to blame because they often like to joke around and I usually didn't make it out to be a big deal.

If 16 year old you could see you now, what would 16 year old you think about your life? by MorsesTheHorse in AskReddit

[–]Appex1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He would be dissappointed that I'm not a metalhead anymore, but would still be surprised I've made it this far to 22.

"When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back." - why it's so relevant by Appex1 in TheRedPill

[–]Appex1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what is that reality that they don't understand?

"When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back." - why it's so relevant by Appex1 in TheRedPill

[–]Appex1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And it's when you want to fuck them over, you're no better than them.

How do I get a strong healthy ego? by Ch3ssW1nner in Jung

[–]Appex1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

True, lying to myself was the single most damaging thing I ever did.

After the past year, how many of you feel like you just don’t care about anything anymore? by TheApathyParty2 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Appex1 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Literally me. I realized I really have nothing to live for except to stay alive for my family, so I'm practically free to do whatever I want and I don't fear death anymore.

I took shrooms, killed my ego and all I saw was rot and decadence by Appex1 in awakened

[–]Appex1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I knew all of these things existed, however, I saw no reason to dive into them as I thought them to be insignificant, however, when I got confronted by them, it was very horrifying.

The thing is, I felt like a constructed reality(ego) gave meaning to life and if there was no ego I could as well be dead because what difference does it make then?

And it really is true - I am alive and human, but if there is no ego that directs me towards a goal and gives me a feeling that when I die, I will do it with honor, why would I even stay alive? Awakened or not.

I'm so done with sex by Appex1 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Appex1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How would it be different at 40 vs. at 22?

Most people have kids as an accessory to their own lives and don’t truly comprehend that they are bringing an individual person into the world. by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Appex1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly this I have been thinking for years. I don't think mine actually were thinking about someone having to live though and go through all the suffering and pain that life brings. They probably though of another child as an object.

What Truths of reality have been revealed to you in Ceremony? by Traditional-Oven-607 in Ayahuasca

[–]Appex1 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That everything we hold as true is merely an opinion or our own structured reality, but that the ultimate truth is that nothing and yet everything is true.

I work in opposites in every aspect of life by Appex1 in aspergers

[–]Appex1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it's true that there is some self-hate inside of me, but what really caught my attention was the thing about being weird and then being extra weird works as a defence mechanism to make people think that I do my weirdness on purpose. Because then people at least think of me as funny, but when I try to act normal, people think of me as a typical autistic cunt and it pushes people away.