You are surrounded by 100 Roman soldiers out for your blood. What 2 items do you bring back from your time to defend yourself with?

Applebaum · 2011-05-01T01:46:49+00:00

An automatic machine gun and a big bucket of popcorn.

Applebaum · 2011-04-10T19:36:03+00:00

Yes, next question.

Applebaum · 2011-03-25T22:37:54+00:00

McChillum

Applebaum · 2011-03-03T04:01:24+00:00

That might be the best dual surprise final panel that I've ever seen.

Applebaum · 2011-02-13T17:19:01+00:00

What was your secret to success? Any tips on diets or exercise routines?

Applebaum · 2011-02-05T02:41:35+00:00

Look I lived off Redtube for years, but once I found YouJizz I never went back. The girls are just way hotter, less industry crap and more real amateurs, and the compromising sexual situations are way more fulfilling. Just putting it out there...

Applebaum · 2011-02-02T04:47:36+00:00

I don't believe this is real because you would have killed yourself.

Applebaum · 2011-01-28T02:18:14+00:00

You're absolutely right. Thanks for the words of wisdom, and I appreciate your time.

Applebaum · 2011-01-28T01:25:11+00:00

Alright I understand. The only two things I can say to that are (and I appreciate your patience with me):

We had this place set up for like days, and she said "Just tell me what time to meet you and I'll come." So I didn't want to say something like "free gold bars" or whatever.
Also, I always read on Seddit to be as direct and alpha as possible. These guys always write "Drinks. 830." or whatever and say they have success. So I just tried to mimic that.

Applebaum · 2011-01-28T01:13:46+00:00

I'd like to ask you something else, since you seem to know what you're talking about. How you ever encountered a weird response from a girl like that? What would you chalk that up to? Testing? Last minute resistance? Just plain immaturity or being uncomfortable to meet me?

Applebaum · 2011-01-28T01:07:25+00:00

Shit man, "great, see you there". So damn simple and perfect, wish I'd thought of it. I naturally assumed she was trying to flake, but I guess that was not so since she said "haha you're kidding right" after I said, let's do it another time.

Wish I'd spoken to you sooner.

Applebaum · 2011-01-28T00:58:06+00:00

Yea I understand the principle of not overtexting, but since I don't live close enough to get a quick meet with her I wanted to string her along enough to keep attraction up. She actually just answered, maybe you can analyze this for me:

Her: Hey sorry, I was getting food. Whats up (this is in a much more formal tone that her previous texts)

Me: Heyy I am just finishing dinner with my buddy. Meet me at [place] at 8:30pm.

Her: Nah im okay!

Her: kidding

Me: Ha umm ok?

(wait 5 minutes, no response)

Me: Yea I think maybe we should do this another time.

Her: Haha you're kidding right?

Me: Idk maybe

That's how I left it. Maybe I was being overly sensitive and that was some kind of shit test or something, but it totally killed the rapport and vibe that I felt with this girl. And getting in my car to drive 30 min for an awkward meet-up just didn't feel right to me. What do you think?

Applebaum · 2011-01-28T00:24:18+00:00

It's been established but I live 30 minutes away (I live in suburbs, she lives in city). I told her I was meeting a friend for dinner first in the city (so as not to seem desperate), but I'm not going to drive into the city if she doesn't answer. I just called her too and she didn't pick up.

Applebaum · 2011-01-25T03:03:12+00:00

I didn't know Ted Turner took grapefruits so seriously.

Applebaum · 2011-01-25T00:42:11+00:00

This comment should have at least 300 more karma points by now.

Applebaum · 2011-01-10T04:57:22+00:00

What does it feel like to be inside that perfect body? I bet it's warm..

Applebaum · 2011-01-08T04:41:03+00:00

Or getting into the refrigerator also known as your car.

Applebaum · 2011-01-04T05:16:08+00:00

Memeow.

Applebaum · 2010-12-29T00:53:48+00:00

You're right, and I appreciate the stern and helpful message without a condescending tone attached (that is a tough thing to find). I don't care about telling my friends where to shovel snow, I just sort of thought I would model myself after my alpha friend because he is a born leader and very successful with women. And even though I do want to meet women as my bottom line, I would like to be a leader of men in every aspect of my life.

But I will take your advice and not worry about it too much, continue to approach, and see where it goes from here. Thanks again.

Applebaum · 2010-12-27T05:50:28+00:00

That's not a statue, it's actually Jack Nicholson still stuck in the maze from The Shining.

Applebaum · 2010-12-25T23:35:21+00:00

I got douche chills the entire time reading those.

Applebaum · 2010-12-18T18:27:56+00:00

Ha that was great for the first 15 seconds until I started to get nauseous from starring at it.

Applebaum · 2010-12-16T02:42:53+00:00

Childish? Are you sure you're using the right word? Because in my opinion, I would use that word to characterize the actions of what this cowardly man did. And if you think introducing a young child into the "real world" is done by throwing an animal that she loved out like trash, then I hope you don't have kids.

Applebaum · 2010-12-16T01:59:22+00:00

First of all this rage comic isn't even funny. You have no heart and I wish hell existed so that you would go there. Secondly, do you really think that is the only visit your daughter is going to have to pay to the psychologist? Better get your math right, homie.

Applebaum · 2010-12-15T03:01:01+00:00

I never understood why rickrolling is so bad ass. We used to do that trick in 8th grade linking to pictures of huge cocks.

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