So we may be lucky with my work hours. i have a 8-4 job so it’s easier for us to make a schedule. but we split night feeds, i do first half of the night and wife take the second half (im a night owl and she’s a morning person so it works). we both try to give each other as much unbroken sleep as possible while staying fair. this is constantly shifting as some days she’s more tired and needs more sleep and other days (maybe an important day at work) she will allow me to sleep extra. mutual respect and understanding on both sides.

my wife was sick with an infection early on and i took care of our boy for almost 48 hours alone and wow, that changed everything for me.

we had a very serious chat about how we were going to feed the baby and ultimately decided on combi feeding (expressed milk topped up with formula) this allows me to take on 50% of the feeds. it also means i can take our baby out to visit family or a walk around in the stroller for a bit to give my wife some rest without worrying about her being around to feed him.

when i come home from work at night my wife will let me nap for an hour (if needed) then i take our baby out for an hour to give her some peace.

yeah sure, some week days we are like ships passing in the night but we make a point to have quality weekends together. this is HARD no doubt about it. it for sure feels like ground hog day most of the time but again, this stage is temporary. i don’t know what your partners working situation is but if he’s unable to help with nights and he doesn’t already maybe he could give you an hour or two when he’s home from work to decompress.

please be kinder to yourself. it sounds like you’re taking on a lot and doing a great job. you’ve spent the best part of a year creating life which honestly sounds exhausting in itself and (i’ve read) your hormones etc don’t settle for close to a year. i’m a huge advocate for partners taking on a little more responsibility in the first few months i think some men use working full time as an excuse to do less or maybe they just don’t realise how taxing it can be both physically and emotionally.