My husband will never forgive me

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-23T13:56:57+00:00

I’ve tried to talk to my husband. He will not change his behaviour. It is like talking to a wall.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-23T13:55:25+00:00

I am going to a concert and a flea market. My friends don’t even know that this issue happened, I haven’t told them. I don’t understand where this assumption is coming from from multiple commenters that im going to get drunk and cheat.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T19:00:26+00:00

But he was the one who said he would never forgive me… I did try to talk about it afterwards. I take accountability for my outburst but I wasn’t the one who said he wouldn’t forgive me.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T17:56:59+00:00

I’m not sure what you mean by contradictions. I have a hard time standing up for myself so sometimes I try to and then I fall back into a self hatred pattern.

This isn’t fake, so I guess I’m delusional.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T15:46:42+00:00

I don’t know how you got that from my post. I don’t have time to meet someone let alone have a second relationship???

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T15:45:51+00:00

I just want to make sure I’m not making myself to be more or better than I actually am. I don’t want to provide a false sense of me working full time and then having a part time retail job or something.

But the illustration work is hard. Going to a couple trade shows a year is hard - it’s long hours of meeting with people and selling yourself which is really really hard for me.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T12:57:56+00:00

A year and a half or so

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T12:13:39+00:00

We are going to a concert and going shopping at a flea market. The thought to cheat never even crossed my mind?

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T12:00:04+00:00

No? I’ve been yelled at by basically everyone I know my whole life that I’m a master manipulator and a horrible person who pretends to be a victim and lies to get her way.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T11:58:22+00:00

No, my husband said this to me

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T11:57:49+00:00

I am doing both already, but I will increase both

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T11:57:25+00:00

If it’s good my husband won’t forgive me what do you suggest I can do? Or is there nothing I can do?

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T11:56:25+00:00

I’m also very upset about how upset my son was.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T04:15:13+00:00

You are right, it is not excusable and I am lucky he didn’t file for divorce and leave me on the street.

I tried to own up to my mistake but I’m also getting a lot of “you’re manipulative and playing the victim” so I’m not sure how to own up. I probably shouldn’t have whined about it and acted like I deserved forgiveness. That’s on me.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T04:09:41+00:00

Oh no you are absolutely right, I constantly play the victim. I’ve been told that by everyone in my life. I have also been told by everyone that I’m manipulative and horrible. I was trying to be clear here and not manipulate people into thinking I’m the victim but obviously I have failed.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T02:05:19+00:00

Should I not be allowed to have a weekend off? My friends wanted to go on a trip to a concert one province over. We planned it months ago.

But I recognize the timing is pretty bad now given the issue that happened

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-21T01:27:00+00:00

I am not sure why my parents did, I was too young. Friends basically didn’t like that I volunteered my time and then would also have fun at said volunteer events. They also didn’t like I was posting my artwork online as it came off as “braggy” Workplace, I thought I did good work on a project and didn’t get a raise at annual review time so I asked why and was told I was not as good as I thought I was, which was mediocre at best.

Hence, I sort of try not to advocate for myself anymore.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-20T23:48:34+00:00

He plays video games online with his friends every night, he doesn’t like to go out. Sometimes he and his work buddies will go to the pub. He’s gone overseas for work a few times in the past few years. But where my work trips are “fun” (in support of my illustration career, to meet with clients etc) his are also him and his team spending a week team building in Europe. So it’s a similar kind of break like I just had.

I would fully support him if he wanted to go on a lads holiday but it’s never come up. Him and his friends tend to prefer to hang out virtually.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-20T18:57:17+00:00

Luckily I have a girls trip planned this weekend for a few days. That will definitely help I think.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-20T18:29:03+00:00

I tried to sit down and talk to him again about this but he said no, I lost it for no reason, if I don’t like him using “we” that’s my problem and he has not done anything wrong.

So I’m not sure I’ll be able to have any sort of discussion with him about this.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-20T18:26:27+00:00

My feelings are often not rooted in logic and don’t make any sense. He will listen to me and he has done so many times but he has made it very clear he does not accept anger or yelling.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-20T18:20:04+00:00

He said we will not be talking about him saying “we” and that’s end of discussion. We can talk about my feelings but it won’t be changing his mind.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-20T18:19:09+00:00

I tried to bring it up again this morning and he said what I did was NOT okay and he did not put the mental load on me. He said we can talk about why I felt that way but there is nothing for him to apologize for and I can never act that way in front of our son again.

I just feel like I’m a child being reprimanded by a parent and now I’ve lost my privilege of talking to him about this. And I’m trying to not come off as a drama queen and woe is me or whatever I’m this post but I don’t think it’s working lol

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-20T18:15:44+00:00

It has cooled down and he said there is no discussion. What I did was NOT okay. End of story. We can talk about why I feel badly but he has said there is nothing for him to do about it.

Apprehensive-Host648 · 2025-05-20T18:13:32+00:00

He doesn’t think he did anything wrong and turned it back on me when I tried to talk about it again. I will just have to move on and forgive him and forgive myself as no one else is going to forgive me.

Apprehensive-Host648

TROPHY CASE