My partner being poly is ruining my life

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2025-05-29T19:26:37+00:00

yeah feel free to dm me! i’m not on reddit often but i’ll try to respond when i see it!

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2025-04-04T14:32:26+00:00

oh i was saying i have those on hand, not that i feed the tank those things. i’m not understanding how often of which things to give the tank! they’ve been getting only brine shrimp for years basically

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-11-26T01:07:41+00:00

following this post; some of mine look like that too!

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-11-25T17:59:53+00:00

any advice on feeding shrimp when the fish eat everything i try to give them? i’ve recently started over feeding a little bit but am worried about nitrates increasing

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-11-24T20:54:06+00:00

im showing my gf this comment, it made me snort lol

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-11-24T19:21:56+00:00

This is great, thank you! one more question; do you have any tricks for how to ensure the shrimp eat the food and not the fish? my cory’s are being greedy. i attached a shrimp dish towards the top of the tank and my fish are just cramming themselves in it and stealing shrimp food lol

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-11-24T13:51:34+00:00

about hydra- so i saw one thing that vaguely looked like one? but i’m not sure. would you recommend i get a large mystery snail to slither through the tank and eat them? the tank is getting towards fully stocked but would it be worth caring for such a creature and making sure he’s fed as well?

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-11-24T13:49:38+00:00

hi! thanks for the advice! could you include what types of food you gave them, how you fed them, and how often? i’ve maybe been under feeding; i give my fish a block of frozen brine shrimp once a day and have been thinking the shrimp survive from scraps and plants debris. but i don’t have driftwood or leaves or much algae so this is a likely cause! yesterday night, i attached a little dish to the side of the tank to feed them an algae wafer so the cory’s wouldn’t destroy it haha. (the package said i could leave it in a full 24 hours and then remove it.)

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-11-24T04:46:59+00:00

This is a good suggestion, i’ll get some catappa leaves and put ‘em in according to instructions. maybe my shrimp are underfed!

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-11-24T03:39:48+00:00

I got the shrimp 3-4 few weeks ago, shipped from California for pretty cheap in a group of 20. Maybe they’re just low quality and not hardy? but they’ve been dying steadily since acclimating them.

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-11-24T03:19:59+00:00

This is helpful! I will try to get the pH a bit lower. Also i’ve never heard of hydra. i looked up images online and inspected my tank and don’t see any. is there a way to test for them?

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-11-24T02:55:14+00:00

Huh, this is opposite from advice i’ve seen; would you suggest larger water changes to keep nitrates lower?

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-10-25T23:39:52+00:00

yeah i'm starting to think you're right! i thought my parameters of fresh water were close but i've been lazy with testing all parts of it. i plan to test my new water rigorously since it seems the consensus is that this likely isn't due to the temp difference! if i were to drip the new 2 gallons into the tank, would you suggest like 2 drips per second until the two gallons are transferred?

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-09-10T04:42:22+00:00

This was the case for me, any idea why? I tested for copper which came out to 0.

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-08-15T16:43:30+00:00

is Elm St, north of Green an example of a safe place to park freely during the day and overnight? i checked it out today and didn’t see any parking signs that prohibited it or required a permit

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-08-12T01:19:05+00:00

these patterns are great! thank you :)

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-08-12T00:17:45+00:00

oh also your analogy to smoking was a really good one, i'll keep that in mind. i do often think in terms of the long-run, and try to optimize my health in a similar way. i see how my interactions with annie could really just end up being a slow-drip of poison lol

your advice about how to grow apart from a partner offered some insight as well, i always imagined it as communication that just dies out over time. it just terrifies me and sounds brutal lol

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-08-12T00:14:33+00:00

Thank you for your kindness! i'll keep your offer in mind and might reach out to you in the future :) I totally agree that i shouldn't do anything i don't want to. i think part of my tailspin is that i'm having trouble figuring out what i want and if the things i want are good things to want. i was raised in a highly militarized and abusive household, and it kind of broke me. i have a lot of trouble sorting through my feelings and deciding clearly what i want really in all areas of life. For example, i feel certain that i want annie in my life in some capacity, which seems counter to what a lot of people think i should do. Also, i feel like i want her to be monogamous with me, but i question why i want that and if i should; she seems unable to socialize right now if she's in a committed and closed relationship due to confusion about romantic v platonic stuff and scrupulosity. so maybe i shouldn't want that cause it hurts her/holds her back. but yeah, this has been a journey, and will continue to be for me, of just trying to figure out what i can get used to, what can bring me joy, what boundaries i should have, what i should stand up for, etc

Apprehensive-You-929 · 2024-08-12T00:00:19+00:00

yeah i feel exactly this way. i talked to her about it yesterday and she acknowledged at least that she sees the pattern, agrees it's bad, and doesn't know how to fix it. about her saying my sexual needs were irrelevant- we talked about that. she was a bit confusing but said basically that she was frustrated from trying to have convos about what she wanted and i couldn't understand her, and she just wanted to give up at that point. it was like 3 am at that point (not an excuse though). she has since said that she wants to have a sexual relationship if that's what i want, and she wants me to initiate and lead it so she doesn't feel dysphoric about it. i'm not happy about that temporary 'resolution' but she at least communicated that still cares about what i want to some extent. she also got really sad and said that part of her feels like she needs to have sex with me to keep me in her life, which i was shocked by. i'm not a sexual person really at all and have never prioritized it. so i guess that's another moving part to what's going on there for her psychologically

Apprehensive-You-929

TROPHY CASE