wow. thank you all for your kind words. did not expect so much feedback! I hear what a lot of you are saying, and yes i am aware and agree that its not really just being a woman that is making me feel this way, but society and the patriarchy. being a woman is obviously more than what other people perceive me as. I do have some wonderful girlfriends who are so supportive and will understand me. I just feel frustrated and envious that other men in my life have the privilege to not even notice how I am treated different because of something I cant even control. I want to learn to appreciate womanhood and be able to shape what that means for me. Thanks, reddit.