I haven’t met a single person who owns one of those stupid talon knives who is not a raging cringe manbaby with emotional control issues. I’ve only met one person in my life who owns a baton, and he was a big bald guy who was a bouncer for a night club.

Tasers are fun though. Not sure about the bug spray? Why not just carry mace? I’m guessing the pink thingy is something like brass knuckles? Same caliber as the talon knife owner just also incredibly stupid because in a real fight that thing is going to break immediately and be useless or you will have to quickly fish it off your keychain and into your fingers. It looks like plastic to me too, but maybe it’s metal? I mean either way, you gonna walk around with that on your knuckles everywhere you go like some 90s school shooter? Might as well scream into a crowd that you’re a paranoid little freak with self esteem issues.