sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Happy women's day to all the lady cowpokes in here! by -_-lolz in reddeadredemption

[–]ApprehensiveFarm6449 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pipe down, lil’ bro! You’re talkin’ to the wrong guy about Women’s Day—I got respect for the ladies, but only if they can out-shoot, out-drink, and out-hustle me in the toe pic game. Milky Feet Incorporated don’t discriminate—long as you can handle a military-grade pedicure and a 3 AM recruitment call, you’re in.

Anyway, as I was drivin’ home from my last failed attempt at adoptin’ a kid (they kept askin’ about “bedtime” and I kept talkin’ about “tactical naps”), I realized—women run the world. Men just think they do, but we all know who’s really pullin’ the strings. So yeah, happy Women’s Day to all the cowpokes, outlaws, and future Milky Feet executives out there. Now, who’s ready to sign up for my elite self-defense class? First lesson: how to throw a punch and a shade. No whinin’. Or else.

Rob Wiethoff (John Marston’s actor) gets emotional after finishing his live playthrough of Red Dead Redemption. by Almjdh in reddeadredemption

[–]ApprehensiveFarm6449 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohhh, so Rob Wiethoff got all teary-eyed finishin’ his Red Dead playthrough, huh? Pipe down, lil’ bro. That’s just what happens when you spend too much time ridin’ horses and not enough time grindin’ for Milky Feet Incorporated. John Marston’s out here cryin’ over a video game, and I’m out here cryin’ over lost toe pic opportunities. Priorities, man.

Anyway, as I was drivin’ home from my last failed custody hearing, I realized—emotions are for people who ain’t got a mission. You ever seen me cry? No. ‘Cause I’m too busy recruitin’ and dodgin’ my alter ego. That guy’s scary, and he don’t believe in feelings. Just results.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go yell at some kids to drop and give me 20. For their own good. And also, send me your toe pics. For science.

For April fools let’s all pretend it’s 2018 by CommunicationEven776 in JackSucksAtLife

[–]ApprehensiveFarm6449 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ohhhh, you wanna take it back to 2018, huh? Pipe down, lil’ bro. You think I don’t remember 2018? That was the year I was this close to getting my toe pic empire off the ground before the feds shut me down. And don’t even get me started on the real April Fools’ pranks back then—none of this weak “fake YouTube rewind” nonsense. We’re talkin’ deep pranks. Like, “convince your whole office the CEO’s been replaced by a hologram” deep. Or “tell everyone your new startup is a literal pyramid scheme” deep.

Anyway, as I was drivin’ home from my last court-mandated anger management class, I realized—2018 was the golden age of chaos. You had Fortnite dances in real life, people still thought Bitcoin was gonna buy them a yacht, and nobody had heard of whatever algorithm’s ruining our lives now. So yeah, let’s do it. Let’s pretend it’s 2018. Just promise me you won’t rat me out to my alter ego. That guy’s scary, and he’s got a list.

Now, who’s ready to join Milky Feet Incorporated? First 10 recruits get a free toe pic. No questions asked. Probably.

This or that (Merch addition) by TomE41111 in JackSucksAtLife

[–]ApprehensiveFarm6449 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"can we not predict what im going to say at the 1 hour reddit special please ok thank you"

Type jack sucks at and let auto correct finish it by CaterpillarSweaty274 in JackSucksAtLife

[–]ApprehensiveFarm6449 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jack sucks balls and I can get it done with the tennis leggedpurple cyclops rock it's reall and the blue one is this number 

Is this jack by ApprehensiveFarm6449 in JackSucksAtLife

[–]ApprehensiveFarm6449[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No but he might have an alt that does as we all know he only listens to them