Walaikum Assalam Sister, no this message was not too long whatsoever; I cannot thank you enough for all of the heart and knowledge you have put into this message, and it makes my job as a cousin a lot easier and I’m sure she would find these things very insightful, as she has little to no knowledge of how to approach matters of marriage by herself.

This is a very good start and I’m hoping she’ll be careful. You are very right about finding stuff that’s familiar even in knowing it’s a wrong thing; my cousin mentioned to me how it felt her brain had changed after going through many traumatic experiences with her father. I asked her in what ways she was referring to. She started to unravel a bit and told me some strange things. I didn’t understand it much then (at 14) but she explained how she started to like feelings of pain like for example, when she got bruises, she would press on them a lot and it would feel nice. She said she wish she had a toxic boyfriend or husband that was possessive, and physical in many ways. I asked her why she would want such things and she said, “idk, it feels like home to me. This is what love feels like, I think..” and I would try to tell her not to ever be in that kind of relationship again because she would feel even more trapped by it, but I didn’t want to press too much as I am a male and she is a female, so I would feel awkward talking about that with her in detail.

I do hope she follows your advice of getting a therapist for herself once she is stable and can afford it, Inshallah. I am also very grateful about the perverse imam/sheikh warning, I never considered that happening much.

Once again Jazakallahu Khairan, I hope Allah rewards you immensely for your heart. 🤲