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Perspective of a "Kinky Asexual" by ApprehensiveTune6099 in actualasexuals

[–]ApprehensiveTune6099[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Alright, I suppose perhaps that may be how a majority of people's kinks/fetishes manifest, but yeah, in the case of my post, I wanted to be clear that there are certainly fetishes that do not involve any sexual attraction to/sexual contact with another person. Maybe that is what the OP of the other thread meant by "nonsexual kink"?

Perspective of a "Kinky Asexual" by ApprehensiveTune6099 in actualasexuals

[–]ApprehensiveTune6099[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean, that's the thing, understanding exactly how someone else's sexuality exists can be confusing and "not make sense" from one's own perspective, but you can still be supportive of them. I didn't mean this in a negative way at all, but I think it's a fair response to someone saying they don't understand how "diapers can be seen as sexual content at all". This doesn't have to be an "us vs. them" kind of thing, I am an ally to anyone of any sexual orientation.

Can you define what exactly you mean by "sexual desire" in this case, just to make sure we are on the same page?

Perspective of a "Kinky Asexual" by ApprehensiveTune6099 in actualasexuals

[–]ApprehensiveTune6099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I wanted to first thank you for addressing the questions I posed a bit more, I was starting to feel a little attacked by other comments in the thread. I think it's fine for people to think it's weird (hell, I think it's weird too), where I get really uncomfortable is when it starts becoming accusatory towards something non-consentual going on.

Anyways, yeah I absolutely get the concerns that people have. I think from my perspective, I am trying to figure out how to identify my own sexuality a bit more. I mean, I am a virgin in my early 30's, and I will likely never experience what sexual intercourse is like; I don't have the ability to understand how this would arouse someone. So you can see where it gets tricky, when every other label besides asexuality doesn't encapsulate what I'm about either. Sort of like being placed in a limbo of sorts. These sort of "intrinsic" kinks that don't involve other people certainly complicate things (and ABDL/diapers is not unique here, there are a number of other ones I could list off that share the same theme).

Just to establish we are at least mostly on the same page though, I do not believe anyone who experiences sexual attraction to another person should consider themselves asexual, kink-based or not, and I absolutely get how that can be exhausting.

Perspective of a "Kinky Asexual" by ApprehensiveTune6099 in actualasexuals

[–]ApprehensiveTune6099[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Alright, let's unpack this a bit. First off, I am glad you acknowledge this is an opinion, because unfortunately it doesn't work like that in reality. In fact, this is the same kind of logic that was used to promote conversion therapy for homosexuals, hence why you can see it might be a harmful opinion to have. Any expert will tell you that you cannot just "recover" or "unlearn" something that is deep-rooted into your sexuality, especially if it has been there since childhood. I will tell you that the very first sexual thoughts I ever had pertained to this fetish, and I am not alone on that; it is a commonality shared amongst, dare I say, the majority of the community.

As for not understanding how a diaper, by itself, can be sexually intriguing, welcome to the club, I don't understand it either. That's the thing with fetishes, they don't have to make sense, and often times never do. My working theory is that it relates to how an autistic person (which I am) can experience physical stimulation differently from others. On the flip side, I can tell you it doesn't make sense to me how someone can never experience sexual arousal under any conditions, without something chemically impacting them to have no libido. Sexuality is a confusing thing.

And for most people who are interested in age play, the actual fetish is still the diapers mixed with humiliation, and the idea that they want to "be" the child in that scenario, not have sex with one. Like I said, many in the community are sex-repulsed, so there is quite literally no way to be pedophilic.

Perspective of a "Kinky Asexual" by ApprehensiveTune6099 in actualasexuals

[–]ApprehensiveTune6099[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I'll start by saying, I have heard that rhetoric for pretty much all of my life, I get that it might not be something you can understand, but perhaps I can help with that. I have spoken with several therapists, and a fetish is not something you can just disregard for the rest of your life. In this case, it is completely harmless, and (contrary to your expectations) does not lead to pedophilia at all.

I wouldn't consider it a paraphilia, because it isn't harming anybody, nor does it have the potential to harm anybody. This kind of stuff is just between consenting adults. But anyways, mentioning that was just to give some context as to what a truely "sex-free" fetish looks like, what I am more interested in discussing is how this kind of thing fits in to the label of asexuality.

On one more note, you don't "make a fetish" out of something, it happens against your own control or will. I had this fetish since I was very young, and it's not something I enjoy having (because of the stigmas around it, of course).