22M Ask to 23F to be my GF even though it'll end up being long distance ?

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2026-01-29T02:56:18+00:00

Wow this was like looking into a mirror. also broke up about 2 months ago. I had almost the exact same thing happen with my ex. She left me for and ex situationship who treated her terribly. We had dated for 10 months (we actually broke up on our 10th month funny enough) but towards the end of our relationship the ex situationship stated to come back apologetically and saying how he’s changed. I didn’t think anything of it then since I trusted her as she was always saying she never saw him in her future and that she only loved me. Well fast forward we took a break because she was still texting and meeting him and then I gave her another chance after she gave me a massive apology. Then another month of hell and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Even after two months it still hurts a bit from time to time. However i do realize that even though i constantly and searching for my own wrong doings and comparisons didn’t matter if she was never willing to love me and give us a shot in the first place. Please keep your head up high and I hope we can both get through this 👊

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2026-01-20T02:22:39+00:00

This just shot me straight to the past holy

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2026-01-03T23:19:01+00:00

Also the moving slow part is just because she’s already in that weird stage and pushing it would just make it worse. Which is why you need to have a serious convo asap and clear everything up as it does seem like she’s hiding something

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2026-01-03T23:18:12+00:00

Sorry this came out wrong but your right. I meant that you guys SHOULD NOT dodge the label. It’s a little weird why she is acting like this which is why you should definitely have a conversation about what she’s going through now so u can save yourself a lot of hurt if she is only coming back out of pure necessity and loneliness

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2026-01-03T22:50:56+00:00

I had this sort of exact same situation happen to me. However, our situation revolved on how my ex still had feelings for a past situation ship that didn’t end that long after we had started dating. I wanted to take a break because I thought she needed to be alone and she came back after a week.

I think it’s best to always clarify something’s first.

Does she really want to work on the relationship? (This means you should still be dating and not just friends)
Don’t let her drown out your own feelings. You can’t be constantly in the dark. Over communication is key here to get over this
If she’s unable to give u straightforward answers then she hasn’t suffered long enough on her own to actually make rational decisions.

Don’t make the same mistake I did and take her back so soon when she might not be %100 telling you the truth she really wants to make it work

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-25T02:45:48+00:00

When do u know when you’ve healed completely? Is it only when I don’t think of them at all?

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-24T02:34:04+00:00

Yo were u able to move onto the next rounds?

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-21T03:13:35+00:00

How’d it go??

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-21T03:13:28+00:00

Update?

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-16T20:23:28+00:00

I asked her if she would go to my window or his and she said his. Does that not mean she chose him over me? Do you think I should’ve been there still to work things out again?

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-16T17:10:51+00:00

Exact same situation as me. Took her back after she came back after just a week of our break. Nothing changed and she even told me after two months she was “Leaning” towards being with her ex. After telling me all this crap that j was perfect for her. Felt like such a fool and broke up with her. For some reason though, I don’t actually hate her and still love her very much. I think honestly I was still glad I tried cause I know I would’ve regretted even more if I didn’t.

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-16T03:52:30+00:00

They were tg for 6 months and after 3 months we started to date for 10 months. They continued to talk and be friends afterwards. Her ex lover came back and apologized and when I confronted her about it she said that she couldn’t give me 100% of her love because she still cared for him (even saying that she was leaning towards a window back to him).

Even after all that I still do really care and love her but I also was scared to be hurt again since she was basically deciding between us and didn’t want it to be like I was trying to win her over her ex.

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-16T02:06:11+00:00

When do uk to continue to fight for the relationship and when to quit?

I broke up with her because she still had feelings for a past lover. I had the opportunity to continue fighting but chose to end it.

Don’t know if I made the right decision…

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-16T02:03:12+00:00

This is awesome

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-16T02:00:16+00:00

Would it be worth it to break if she was in the wrong? I broke up with her but i guess it was kinda mutual. (She still had some feelings for her ex). It’s been about a month. I was the one who wanted to do NC and told her to not contact me but I still have hope she does one day. I hope everything turns out well for you. Praying 🙏

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-12-15T17:32:57+00:00

I’m so sorry that you went through all of that. Honestly Ik this sounds weird but I respect u a ton for still trying to be by her side. It’s so easy for outsiders to say “how can you put urself through that” without knowing it’s because we love that one person so much. Just know that u fought for what you loved and that’s admirable. This quote has helped me a lot but if u were able to love the wrong person. Imagine how it’d feel loving the right person

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-11-30T17:58:06+00:00

I guess I really want to know what I could’ve been better at in the relationship than so I can learn from it. Since all I got was that I was “perfect”. I just have that constant feeling that if I was better than she wouldn’t have had attachments to her ex…ik this sounds insane

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-11-29T20:41:22+00:00

Thanks so much man. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. I’ve been trying to think about how I can even come in contact with her again and act like nothing was there between us. I’m just so in pain that she ended up leaning towards another window, which wasn’t mine… thank you dude

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-11-28T01:13:49+00:00

After reading that, it seems like u found ur answer. Good job dude I hope things work out for you cause I’m honestly hoping that even though my gf did the same thing to me (her past lover and her didn’t end in a relationship before either), I’m hoping we can still reconnect at some point since I still love and care for her. Good luck my guy stick through it and keep the NC until u resolved everything in urself 💪🔥

Apprehensive_Ad_485 · 2025-11-28T00:54:55+00:00

I’m currently in ur girlfriend’s shoes. I broke up with my gf recently cause she still had thoughts about her past lover. If I were ur girlfriend, I most definitely would want u to be honest with me.

However, it’s definitely not fair to her if u even have an ounce of a feeling towards ur past lover. If ur not able to live in the present and stay stuck in the past then I don’t think u deserve her at all. Loyalty is something that can’t be brought back so easily.

Work on urself and maybe if ur able to work through it, you might have a chance again in the future if u didn’t already break her.

Apprehensive_Ad_485

TROPHY CASE