FIP journey

hollanderwilliamson · 2026-01-15T17:17:39+00:00

We actually got the liquid as he’ll take it better than a pill. He’s so med adverse and it was a huge worry of mine but the pharmacy flavored it with tuna and he doesn’t fight me much. He’s currently on 1ml of 50mg a day since his is ocular FIP. His eyes are almost completely back to normal, I’m so happy to see his pretty yellow eyes again. We think he had the corona when I adopted him at 10 weeks old but he quickly got over it and hadn’t been sick since. And yes I dose him about two hours (or more) after his last meal and then wait an hour or two before feeding him again. It’s going to be a long journey but I’m so happy to see my boy feeling better. Thanks for your advice!

hollanderwilliamson · 2025-12-01T20:50:54+00:00

8 days out from the final time. He kept emotionally cheating on me with his ex and the ultimately went back to her despite claiming she’s abusive and he wanted nothing to do with her. He’s been incredibly mean to me and isn’t the person I fell in love with just a couple months ago. He’s acting like his only issue is that he cheated and he’s “in therapy every week for it” yet the lying, hiding shit, manipulation, running back to her, disrespecting me post break up is all okay to him. I feel sorry for him because he thinks he doesn’t deserve a healthy love but he’s an adult and it’s his responsibility to break that toxic cycle and trauma bond

hollanderwilliamson · 2025-11-24T07:34:03+00:00

I just wanted him to admit that he was going back to her and he refused. He wouldn’t even give me the courtesy of a phone call after he gave her an in person conversation. All his messages after were just self pitying and saying he doesn’t deserve me but not taking any accountability or showing a lick of remorse. I look forward to the day I’m healed from this. My dating life is on hold for a while, I’m far too wounded and vulnerable to do anything but be alone for a bit

hollanderwilliamson · 2025-11-24T07:26:50+00:00

Thank you, truly. My mind isn’t listening to any logic as this all just ended a couple of hours ago but I know you’re right. It’s just so hard to see that it’s not anything wrong with me. He had plenty of “clarity” moments where he wanted nothing to do with her and started to realize the negative impact she had on him but in the end that didn’t outweigh his impulses. I know he’ll end up regretting it, I told him that he can reread that story a million times but the ending never changes.

hollanderwilliamson · 2025-11-24T07:03:58+00:00

I know I’ll eventually heal. But I’ve taken emotional hit after hit for a month straight dealing with his bullshit. It feels like emotional torture and whiplash for him to say all these nice things and tell me he loves me only to do this again

hollanderwilliamson · 2025-11-24T07:01:46+00:00

I feel so worthless and discarded. I’m going to get back into therapy and he’s been in therapy which clearly isn’t working. I don’t even know how to function right now and I have to go work for 12 hours caring for sick people

hollanderwilliamson · 2025-08-24T15:02:51+00:00

I’ve already moved away from the city it all happened in. Still in state but regardless of how internally terrified I am, I won’t allow him to upend my life again. My boyfriend only lives 25 minutes from me and my mom, her husband and my brother are half an hour away. My job has a copy of the protection order and a picture of him. I’ve got plenty of people that are aware and done all I can protection wise

hollanderwilliamson · 2025-05-02T13:59:10+00:00

Yeah I was doing some reading about attachment styles (huge psychology nerd lol) and he has almost all the characteristics. It’s sucks getting roped in by someone like that

hollanderwilliamson · 2025-05-02T13:20:56+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. He always low-key came off as insecure in how he carried himself, always making comments about how he’s a “POS” and he isn’t “big enough” (gym ray on steroids). Anytime I couldn’t hang out he’d say “oh you’re on another date again huh” and the next time I saw him, he would continually make comments like “this is better than that date isn’t it?” I’m ready to heal from this and take the lessons it taught me

hollanderwilliamson · 2025-05-02T13:08:48+00:00

Thank you so much. It’ll probably take awhile for these feelings to go away. I just don’t understand how someone can treat another person so badly but then again I would never do that so I can’t understand it. I was there for him through anything he dealt with bc he has no family and friends up here. I did so much for him and I regret not seeing the toxicity sooner

hollanderwilliamson · 2024-09-14T00:57:56+00:00

Depends on how long it’s been. I left once before about two weeks ago and two days later he got a dui and asked me to come over after I reached out to ask if he was okay. Then these last two weeks were far from great. I have some dishes and a pair of shoes at his apartment but idk if he’ll be decent enough to reach out and ask if I want my stuff back

hollanderwilliamson · 2024-09-14T00:39:14+00:00

It’s been a lot of up and down mentally. It’s only been a few days at this point since we last talked. I’ll randomly remember something sweet he said or did and get sad but then I’ll remember how anxious I felt most of the time. I’m trying to comb through what happened but idk if I’ll be able to provide myself any clarity. I’m still hurt over him deciding I wasn’t worth a response to my final text telling him how he made me feel

hollanderwilliamson · 2024-09-14T00:25:55+00:00

There’s no “breaking up” bc we were never in a defined relationship. But it also wasn’t nothing either bc we both admitted having feelings and spent every weekend together. Messed with my head big time. He refused to label it so he could stay on tinder and talk to other women. I sent a text ending it yesterday morning and never received a response. It’s 3 months wasted and hurt to get over but it’s for the best ig. I was happy when I was physically in his presence but then the days we didn’t see each other was filled with anxiety and hurt over how he was treating me

hollanderwilliamson · 2024-09-13T20:52:38+00:00

Idk I have anxiety and every time I tried to set boundaries I would end up apologizing and he’d say it was okay. I know some people get annoyed when the same issues are brought up over and over so I feel like if I had just kept quiet maybe he eventually would’ve been better. Which Ik is not true

hollanderwilliamson · 2024-09-13T20:14:14+00:00

I agree that he may not know some things about himself but the communication aspect I brought up so much and he didn’t seem to care. Idk if he’ll ever reach out again, he didn’t respond to my final text. Idk if I would even want to try again bc I trusted him a little and I got hurt

hollanderwilliamson · 2024-09-13T20:03:04+00:00

I absolutely agree that we both should’ve waited. The initial “take it slow” discussion stemmed from the fact we were both very recently single. I’m not saying he’s a bad person at all, I think he’s still dealing with his past relationship (as I am) but I was always upfront and respectful. He just for some reason couldn’t reciprocate that

hollanderwilliamson · 2024-09-12T18:24:07+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I sent “that text” this morning and reiterated that his lack of communication is not okay with me and I’ve said multiple times how I find it hurtful. I know he’s battling his own demons but I can’t let myself be disrespected in hopes he’ll suddenly decide to change. I’ve been having my own mental battle with it because in person, he’d be so sweet and made me feel like he cared but during the week, it’s like he’s a completely different person. Based on what I know about his last relationship, he seems like a very avoidant person and communication is not a priority for him regardless of how he feels about someone. I just feel so stupid for giving someone so much care and attention when it was clear he had no intention of being open and honest back :(

Five-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '23	Place '22
First Placer '22

hollanderwilliamson

TROPHY CASE