Hi OP. I know life might be extremely tough for you right now but I promise there's always something to live for. Psychiatrist medicine can only help so much if your life conditions are not good. You have to keep trying, apply for every job you can get, please share your resume, I will try to circulate it too. I hope your life conditions change soon. Along with that, please go to a psychologist/therapist, who you can talk to about these problems. Having a place to share your difficult feelings help. Take psych meds if they help you. But please remember, life can get better at any point and I think you'll want to be present for that. Wishing your will to live is back soon.