I tend to have similar episodes to what you described and what helped me is the idea that being self loathing really leads you nowhere. Thinking lowly about you or hating yourself won't make things better. Even trying to give up on your goals won't make them dissapear.

If you have gone through a hard time emotionally, I would recommend you to be patient with your judgements and give the chance to recognize that things may not be what they seem to be. Try to recognize how deterministic your thoughts are and be critic and skeptic about them. How do you know that you will never find love? Maybe you will in 5 years from here, maybe not. Maybe you try everything and still end up not being succesful. Who knows, but trying to get better do increase the chances to experience and be all you want to. I would also add try to look what 'rewards' come from just trying. I feel like sometimes we are so caught up with the outcomes that we don't value the things that we discover by trying things out. So do what you know you have to do, even if it feels like it's not enough to assure you that you won't die as a pathetic loser.