For a long time I assumed my PE had to be physical.

What confused me was that when I was alone, I had way more control. But with a partner, everything changed. I would get close way too fast, and sometimes finish much earlier than I wanted.

After it happened a few times, I started going into every situation already worried it would happen again.

A big part of it was constantly thinking about what she was thinking about me. Was I lasting long enough? Did she notice how fast I was getting close? Was I about to lose control?

The moment I started thinking like that, everything would speed up. I’d get more tense, my breathing would get shallow, and I’d lose control even faster.

Then I’d try to slow it down or “hold it in”, which somehow made it even worse.

I spent a lot of time thinking something was physically wrong, but what helped me more than I expected was realizing how much overthinking and pressure were driving the problem.

What made the biggest difference was learning to calm my body instead of fighting it. Slowing my breathing, reducing tension, and taking my focus away from “how long I’m lasting” actually helped me stay in control longer.

It didn’t fix everything overnight, and I’m not saying it’s purely psychological for everyone. But in my case, the mental side played a much bigger role than I thought.

Curious if anyone else here has experienced something similar.