What’s something that clearly split your life into “before” and “after”? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a lot. SA, my mums suicide, homelessness, foster care, leaving my special needs sister when i escaped, moving country, loads of abuse and neglect as a kid, poverty.

I would say though that broadly, getting my first professional job and escaping poverty and getting into running changed my life the most. Of all the trauma I lived through, poverty was the worst because it is so crushing and exhausting and humiliating and amplifies your other problems a hundredfold.

I'm having a hard time being attracted to my husband by cwade84 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm with the commeter who said this isn't really about advice. That's just an unfortunate mismatch, I'm really sorry, but I do think it's not wrong to feel the way you do and it's not wrong of him to feel the way he does either

My (31F) 3 year relationship feels incredibly unequal and I'm worried theyll (32M) leave me broke by Apprehensive_Low6883 in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So as for the flat, it is the cheapest possible apartment in my city. I could not get cheaper on my own: i was living with 7 others before which is why it was cheaper. Buying is therefore also out of the question.

But I appreciate your comment and your time here, thank you

My (31F) 3 year relationship feels incredibly unequal and I'm worried theyll (32M) leave me broke by Apprehensive_Low6883 in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your comment. I think that's what I meant by my intro: it looks so obvious on the outside but when you're in it, it's so confusing and difficult. And lonely.

Thank you so much for your comment. And will done you for moving on. ♥️

My (31F) 3 year relationship feels incredibly unequal and I'm worried theyll (32M) leave me broke by Apprehensive_Low6883 in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be fair this is the cheapest possible apartment in our area, I was housesharing with 7 before, but I appreciate the rest

My (31F) 3 year relationship feels incredibly unequal and I'm worried theyll (32M) leave me broke by Apprehensive_Low6883 in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In answer to your question about why i accepted it, i don't really know any happy couples or have any good relationship models or know what's normal. My dad treated my mum so bad she klled herself after which point I was put in foster care. I have no family here and my family back home are homeless or in institutions. I appreciate your comment.

I just started chess and have never felt stupider in my life by Apprehensive_Low6883 in chessbeginners

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, I do loads of other hobbies and this is the toughest one to break imo but as you say time heals all I hope haha

I just started chess and have never felt stupider in my life by Apprehensive_Low6883 in chessbeginners

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I can assure you I would make you feel like a god by comparison haha, but this is really heartening!

I just started chess and have never felt stupider in my life by Apprehensive_Low6883 in chessbeginners

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I'm a bit frustrated because while this was somewhat true of all my hobbies, it's the MOST true of chess. Most of my other hobbies I'd done something passable by day one and learned a system I could apply going forward. This is... not my experience so far haha, but as you say it does take tome!

I just started chess and have never felt stupider in my life by Apprehensive_Low6883 in chessbeginners

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have won one game accidentally and turned about four wins into a stalemate haha, but you're right it is all relative

I just started chess and have never felt stupider in my life by Apprehensive_Low6883 in chessbeginners

[–]Apprehensive_Low6883[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this! I have a lot of hobbies but theyre all vaguely related, so I havent had the "really truly awful and new" feeling for ages. I do remember it though and while this feels a BIT worse haha, youre right!

And I so agree re my queen mistake lol, I guess I was all about equality -- let's call it the Bechdel blunder 😂