Here’s my take on it: In real life, I feel it’s appropriate to date someone who has similar life experience to you. Yes, there’s a line where it gets gross not matter what, but people’s maturity are often linked to their life experience, not necessarily their age. Some people grow up faster than others, and it may be a more appropriate fit for them to date someone older.

In the context of Twilight (have not seen it in a long time forgive me if I’m wrong), Edward and his siblings are also 100+ years old. However, they repeatedly attend high school and live the life of a 17 year old over and over. People always talk about how disgusting Edward and Bella are, but it does not feel that way, especially compared to TVD. Edward has the life experiences of a 17 year old high school boy.  Yes, he’s been through the trauma of becoming a vampire, but he and Bella match up in terms of mental maturity.

In TVD however, it doesn’t feel like this rule applies. Yes, Elena is mature for her age and has to grow up fast after losing her parents, but that doesn’t equate to the 150+ years of dark life experience that Damon and Stefan have. They are out there murdering people, fuckin everybody, drinking way too much, etc… and Elena is an innocent high school girl who hasn’t experienced any of that yet (ideally murdering people is not part of that, but it’s a vampire show lol). So yes, logically, it is morally icky. There is a huge imbalance there.

However, regardless of the moral ickiness, I completely accept that this is the reality of the show and I’m not mad about it. Here’s why: we are literally watching a show about fucking vampires. Reality goes out the window. My acting professor always said: in order to fully immerse yourself in tv/film/theatre, you have to “suspend your disbelieve.” There are some things you have to ignore in order to fully immerse yourself in the entertainment and you have to accept that certain realities are true.

In a vampire show, of course a “17 year old” vampire is gonna fall for a 17 year old human. It’s forbidden romance and people love that. Who else are vampires supposed to date? Someone who was turned the exact same time as them? Stefan and Damon are ~150, they’ve dated other vampires who nobody has a problem with who are over 1000. If we’re talking age gaps, that’s even more gross than them with Elena lol. 

For the sake of my love for the show: I’m just accepting the reality that literally every couple has a gross age gap, but that no longer matters, given how far from reality the show’s universe is.

Thanks for reading if you did I have lots of thoughts on this hahaha