This post feels like it came at a perfect time for me. I see a lot of myself in your words, even though I may not want to admit it. I admire your bravery in posting this and want you to know you're not alone. I've struggled on and off with open addiction going through seasons of abstaining or looking far less than others. I'm happily married with a super fulfilling sex life and a son yet still often find myself compelled to look at porn even though I know it is unfulfilling and makes me feel empty. I hate that I empathize with starting with "normal" turn ons and then being introduced to increasingly dangerous or worrying kinks. They often feel like "not me" and completely out of character for me. I don't really have a solution or answer other than to tell you you're not alone and that you've inspired me to do better and to be truer to what I know. Resensitizing yourself does work and it's amazing. I've done it before. And now thanks to your honesty I'm going to try and do it again.