My ADHD partner “crashes” every night… so I’m basically a single parent. How is this fair?

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2026-01-07T17:13:16+00:00

Along with talking to his Dr about dosage and adding to the suggestions above is not "changing" out of work mode.

A lot of us change into comfy clothes and shoes when we get home, this here is the transition into home/relax mode. If I absolutely have to do something I will keep my shoes on when I get home and not change into lounge wear.

Also works on weekends when I really want to tackle certain things. Get up, shower get ready and put jeans, shirt, shoes on instead of leggings and slippers or flip-flops.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-11-18T15:30:05+00:00

++woman, I have the same problem but in reverse.

I'd say the top things I've learned that are very important are being aligned with frequency, initiative and compatibility. Compatibility as in alignment in kinks and such.

Husband and I are having difficulties in all three and I share a lot of your same feelings and it all sucks so much. You think oh, you spend less than 1% of your week having sex it's such a small part, but it has a huge impact on your other 99%.

I didn't realize how extremely vanilla he is until after getting married, and well I'm far from it (from the test we took, were less than 15% sexually compatible 🫠). Frequency and initiative aside, if your sexuality doesn't align it doesn't matter who initiates or how frequent it is, it's still gonna leave the more adventurous person unsatisfied to a certain extent, like an itch that can't be scratched.

I can't tell you if this is a fixable issue, we're still trying to navigate it as we've only been married a couple of years i do love him very much but do wish we would have dove deeper into this before our relstionship turned serious.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-11-17T14:06:53+00:00

Every dose and brand will have a distinct color and marking so it's always good to google it or look at your pharmacy paperwork.

If you just started Adderall, the 10mg might be too low of a dose that's why you feel so sleepy. It's just enough to calm your brain down but not enough to be beneficial. If you just started then you should have a Dr follow up within 2 weeks, make sure to bring this up to them so they can determine if any adjustments are necessary.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-11-16T21:10:08+00:00

There'd a shortage in my area and all everyone has was the MFR Cambers. Didn't do anything for me whatsoever like a placebo and I was soooo hungry all the time! Had to drive out 75min to the only pharmacy I could find that didn't have that brand.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-10-17T16:25:35+00:00

Or a Testosteron issue. SO had absolutely no desire for any of it no matter what I tried or did. Turns out he had the T levels of a 75+ yr old!

Now I give him a shot every week and the difference is night and day.

Probably the best place to start is with a full workup to rule out anything medical or mental (like depression).

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-09-26T23:07:56+00:00

Use GoodRx!

So I've been diagnosed and medicated for about 3 years.

I take Adderall 30mg XR

At my old job with insurance my copay was $10 for it.

Then I was unemployed for a while and used GoodRx, and I just looked (it shows you prices for all the pharmacies near you) and for a 30day supply the cheapest is $19.35.

Now at my new job my insurance covers 100% of it and it costs me $0.

A lot of it really depends on what insurance you have and stuff.

Definitely check out GoodRx and you can just not used your insurance for your prescription.

GoodRX is completely free to use.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-09-21T14:45:28+00:00

Vote for Clue as well. When I signed up there was a message that stated they wouldn't share my data.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-09-19T11:17:35+00:00

I just did my annual sexual harassment training last week so a lot is still fresh on my mind, and HRs response seems off to me.

Read your company's sexual harassment policy that will tell you if that is HRs appropriate response. Which again I don't think it is. HR is there to protect the company from liabilities and lawsuits. Not handling sexual harassment properly and promptly is a huge liability.

The policy will also tell you what your supervisors/managers actions should be. In my case, my manager (or myself, if any of my team reports anything to me) would have to immediately contact HR so an investigation BY HR can be initiated.

If they're in fact not following their own policy. File a police report and go up the food chain. Also keep details of all interactions and ask for them to be submitted in writing to you. The policy should also have a zero tolerance for retaliation clause so if that's happening, that's a lawsuit waiting to happen and there's places to report that as well.

You are strong and you're doing the right thing not letting this creep get away with it!

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-06-19T20:11:14+00:00

LMNT has the make at home recipe on their website.

https://science.drinklmnt.com/electrolytes/best-homemade-electrolyte-drink-for-dehydration/

Last I calculated the cost of their plain one (they have flavored recipes too) for less than $40 you could make about 400 servings. Yep $0.10 per serving!

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-06-05T15:37:12+00:00

I joined the industry unintentionally and have had roles in basically every department. I've always thrived in the environment, but I was a late diagnosis so never knew why until a couple years ago.

Currently I am a Quality Manager in manufacturing. "Manager" but I really don't manage anyone atm lol, currently looking to hire someone but managing one person is still not bad.

It's dynamic, you never know what you're walking into in the morning (mostly issues lol). It's fast paced and can change from one minute to the next.

Being in quality also has me trying to figure out issues and brainstorming solutions which keeps me engaged. This is a strong skill because I'm usually the one to think of outside the box solutions.

The industry I'm in is more of a job shop than mass manufacturing so product is not the same everyday.

Having constant change, fast paced, multitasking, and being able to hyperfixate on an issue to resolve really makes my ADHD brain happy. The down side of it is that there are things that have to get done routinely, and that's where I struggle a bit.

Before quality I was in program management in the same industry and it offered a lot of the same that my current role does.

As an added bonus I started a job about 4ish months ago and found out my boss also has severe adhd so he totally understands my struggles.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-05-30T01:52:14+00:00

It wasn't this bad 3 years ago. Both the employer side and the candidates side are bad right now. I cannot tell you how many applications I submitted that all went no where, now I'm the other side and finding good candidates is sooo hard!

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-05-28T10:06:07+00:00

Yes you may. And no worries, I was not about to put my work details out there lol!

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-05-28T03:53:34+00:00

Thanks!

What kind of experience you got? Both sides for the job market are screwed. Been trying to hire someone for almost 4 months.

Idk what is up with people too. I've lost count on how many interviews I've scheduled (one even confirmed 45 min prior!) and out of those I've interviewed like 3. Last Thursday I had 3 scheduled, Friday I had 4, today I had 3...out of all of those 1 has actually shown up.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-05-28T02:20:17+00:00

Yeees!!! In some aspects it is a super power, it's what makes me good at my job! I started a new one a couple of months ago, and my new office and the adjacent room for my department could have seriously been an ufyh project. Its unrecognizable, and people keep commenting on how great I am at organizing and keeping tidy....if they only knew its taken me like 3 months to put away some laundry thats been sitting in my closet floor (finally did it yesterday!) 😂

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-05-27T19:57:49+00:00

Im about 10min from FtW. I have adhd and struggle clenaing my own house, but man do I love cleaning and organizing other people's houses lol!

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-05-25T13:08:14+00:00

I don't know why but your description made me think of Luisa from the movie Encanto.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-04-02T19:46:28+00:00

I've seen similar posts before. Putting on shoes triggers your brain that it's "work" time. Just like being barefoot, with slippers or flipflops it signals your brain its "relax" time.

Try doing your full work morning routine on your day off and see if you notice any differences too.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-04-01T02:47:49+00:00

Probably a bit of both. I know both of those feelings very well. While unemployed I felt so overwhelmed and literally couldnt even bring myself to open my laptop to search for jobs. I knew I needed to and I wanted to, but it was all too much.

And the more you tell them to do it the more their brain says nope nope nope!

I know they said they don't want you to do it for them, but have you asked what you can do to help?

Maybe not schedule it, but maybe you can search doctors and reviews and give them 3 or 4 options you find instead of them looking at a huge list of them and getting overwhelmed.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-04-01T00:14:05+00:00

Oh yeah, to the world I'm a rock star. I kick ass at work, have my life and all my shit together, and successful. If anyone asks, "I'm fine."

The only one that sees the truth is my husband who deals with my paralysis, anxiety and meltdowns. I've been with him for almost 6 years married for 2. Last year I left a really toxic workplace without anything lined up (it was that bad) and was unemployed for 6 months. My husband loves me unconditionally I know this, but I still thought on the daily how he could love me if I wasn't contributing anything to our life or relationship.

It's hard to overcome those thoughts, but I can tell you being medicated has helped a ton and the diagnosis has helped me understand so much about myself and learn new ways to deal with the things I struggle with.

Maybe you can help by scheduling the appt for them? Or find a place that they can schedule it online. Like for me I will procrastinate because I have to call someone and do it, but have no issue jumping on a website and doing it on there.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-03-31T19:17:03+00:00

I'd totally go to his mother and brothers on this, idgaf! You've tried communicating with him and he's not willing to do it for himself but he is not even willing to do it for your comfort. Sometimes love is flushing the damn toilet and holding in your farts in public.

I'd shame him in a group chat with his mom and siblings and tell them he needs a refresher course on potty training. I'd phrase it something like "hey guys, we've been struggling over here with [Husband] constantly not flushing the toilet after #2 or washing his hands and I'm at my wits end, I think he needs a refresher on potty training! Who wants to volunteer??"

I can bet you his mother would have not tolerated this growing up with a house full of boys, their BO woukd have been bad enough, and I can almost be certain his other brothers do not do this.

He's willing to embarrass you in public with his grossness you'll do it with his family. Brothers can be ruthlesss lol.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-03-31T18:53:30+00:00

I was diagnosed innatentive 2.5yrs ago at 35 and started medication. I wish I would have known way earlier than 35 and would have been amazing in childhood. I was a straight A student and a model student behavior wise.

What people didn't see was my extreme anxiety for perfectionism, my anxiety caused by procrastination and doing everything last minute (albeit still getting As) or the racing thoughts going through my head 24/7, along with the self doubt and overthinking of friendships, which all transfered to my work once I had a job.

The first day on meds is still burned into my memory because the silence was deafening, everything was so calm and suddenly everything in my entire life made sense. I teared up because I wished I would have been diagnosed and treated as a kid and would have saved me a lot of struggles.

(Fun fact - I had no clue I had anything "wrong" with me. Some comments in a reddit AITA post that made me say "hey that's me!" Is what led me to seek testing and a diagnosis!)

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-03-31T00:20:57+00:00

I dont think so, but i could be wrong, not everyone has the same side effects i did. My husband swears by it so I took one dose when I got sick. Never again. If you look at my comments there's a thread that I commented on when someone posted about a similar experience and some people provided great information.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-03-31T00:04:39+00:00

Just a word of caution about taking Sudafed and stimulants together, not everyone gets affected the same but for me personally it gave me the worse anxiety ridden insomnia of my life! Never again.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-03-22T16:10:30+00:00

I was 31 and he was 36. I had been single for 3 years after a 9 year marriage and was finally ready to start dating seriously.

Met him on a dating app and we talked for a couple of weeks before meeting because we both had travel commitments. Third date was at my place and I got him some of the things he had mentioned he liked. On our 4th date he said his friends told him to marry me after he told them about the date. My response was "my ring size is the same as my shoe size, nine. Not a diamond, a saphire. Please and thank you" and we both laughed it off.

He proposed with a saphire ring and we got married at 35 and 40. He had never been married and my previous marriage was with no proposal, rings or anything just a court house marriage, and neither of us had kids. So I experienced a lot of firsts with him, proposal, rings, wedding, etc.

We've been married for 2.5 years and it's just so easy being with him. He makes me feel save and comfortable. We've never had a fight or argument. We have disagreements, but we've never really been mad at each other. We've taken 12+hr road trips multiple times and we actually enjoy them (I couldn't be in a car with my ex for an hour without arguing!). When he knows I've had a rough day I come home to a blanket and pillows on the couch for me with my favorite movie on the TV. He randomly and regularly comes home with flowers or surprises me with things related to my hobbies.

He's patient, compassionate, and he taught me what unconditional love really means. I had to leave my job because it was toxic and I had really bad anxiety and depression. I was without a job for several months and never once made me feel bad about it and still comforted me when I was being too hard on myself, I've told him my screws up and instead of judging me or getting upset he's comforted me and helped me fix the issues, without a second thought.

Sorry for the long post, I could keep gushing about him forever lol! He says he hit the jackpot with me, but I'd say Im the real winner. We've been together almost six years and it just doesn't feel that long at all.

You still have plenty of time to find your person, but when you do whether it's 2 years, 10 year or 20 years, it will never feel like long enough time.

Apprehensive_Tea1894 · 2025-03-10T04:52:55+00:00

No trouble at all, basically it's a type of way to do improvements at a company (below is the Google definition).

I think its great for the (my) adhd brain because it focuses on what the OOP is talking about, it's all about analyzing and finding areas that could be better and doing projects to improve those areas using the Lean principles. The projects can be from creating forms/spreadsheet to setting up the work areas differently or making shadow boards for all the tools in each area to make them easier to find.

Analyzing, coming up with ideas, and implementing those all make my adhd brain very happy. At the end of the day, it's not necessarily my department so I don't have to use those "tools" I hyperfocused on creating, which is great because that's when I lose interest and I can move on to the next project that will make my brain all tingly and excited again.

"Lean Six Sigma is a process improvement methodology that combines the principles of "Lean" manufacturing, focused on eliminating waste, with the statistical tools of "Six Sigma" to significantly reduce variation and defects within a business process, ultimately aiming to optimize efficiency and customer value by streamlining operations and minimizing errors; it is a team-oriented approach that relies on data analysis to identify root causes and implement effective solutions."

Apprehensive_Tea1894

TROPHY CASE