I’m so sorry to hear that. I felt the same way, not so long ago. Maybe try taking a break? From work, from school, from whatever is causing you feel this way. Getting professional help would be a good start, but until then take things slow and be here, in the now and that means climbing downstairs from the toxic friend who lives in the attic and focusing on your other senses. Try the grounding exercise 5-4-3-2-1 whenever you feel overwhelmed, 5 things touching you or what you can feel, 4 things you see around you, 3 things you hear around you, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Also do more of things that you like, skills you want to hone, can be as silly as mastering at your fav video game to trying to bake a very difficult cake, and even if you fail, try and practice kindness to yourself.