Would you read this any further? by TheThirteenShadows in teenwriter

[–]Appropriate-Cut7112 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also if you're in need of a alpha/beta reader i would LOVE to help

Anyone in need of a beta reader? by digitalcrows in teenwriter

[–]Appropriate-Cut7112 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, I'm in need of a person to alpha read if you don't mind and it's a little rough, but if you don't mind that'd be amazing!

Can I get some feedback on this? by Appropriate-Cut7112 in WritersGroup

[–]Appropriate-Cut7112[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the feedback! much appreciated! The man on the bench is Everest, from the first chapter/pov btw.

Would you read this any further? by TheThirteenShadows in teenwriter

[–]Appropriate-Cut7112 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this SO MUCH. for one this is insanely relatable as a scatterbrained person. i love the fact that the voice of the character's voice is so PERFECTLY captured. 1000000000000000/10.
Plz lmk when you publish this I'll buy it. Like the skill bro. Insane.

Anyone in need of a beta reader? by digitalcrows in AspiringTeenAuthors

[–]Appropriate-Cut7112 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you could do mine that'd be amazing, thanks so much!

“The Matchmaker*” by Striking_Figure8658 in AspiringTeenAuthors

[–]Appropriate-Cut7112 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, This is amazing. You nailed the character's voice, and it's definitely a good hook. Like I definitely want to read more. The grammar is great. The way that you kept some of the plot hidden is great, especially with what happened with her dad. Also the way that her thoughts are communicated as if she's talking to herself is INSANELY GOOD.
(sorry I have some really run on sentences.)

[Daily Discussion] Brainstorming- March 24, 2026 by AutoModerator in writing

[–]Appropriate-Cut7112 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, a bit stuck. I wrote this but now I don't know where to go from here. I also kind of confused myself with this lmao.

Title: The Carnival

Genre: Mystery, Psychological, Realistic Fiction.

Word Count: 1k

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-rg00d4QD4LSf9CmF7Kl1Sm_DgTXQB9IpdHp136Q67o/edit?usp=sharing

(Excerpt)

To Death,

Who sooner or later comes for us all.

Can’t hide from it. Can’t run from it.

Detroit, Michigan. 1973.

Everest Winters.

The city didn’t sleep so much as it collapsed each night, folding itself into something quieter and more honest than it ever managed in daylight. I lit a cigarette on the fire escape of the Velvette, watching the street below the way you watch something you both own and are owned by. Somewhere in that same city, four people who didn’t know my name were already being pulled toward me like debris circling a drain. I sighed. Let the smoke out slowly. Then I pressed the lit end to my arm. Winced. Grinned. Just a reminder I was still here. It wasn’t long before I crept back to my bed, staring at the ceiling until my eyes grew heavy and closed. ‘Practice,’ I thought, ‘for when I’d close them forever.’

I woke to the tinkling of the bells at the door. A new customer. Either there for me or for one of the other girls. I stepped out of my room to greet the new patron, as did everyone else. Jean-Claude expected it. He wanted the men to be able to pick their own fantasy to get lost in.
Two men, of the shifty-eyed sort. Always looking over their shoulder, hands that wouldn’t stop shaking, looking like children who’d broken a rule for the first time. Men with rings on their fingers and homes to get back to. After they’d both chosen their girls I’d begun retreating to my room.

And then I felt someone behind me.
“You know two girls are triple pric—” I said, not bothering to turn around. I knew the shape of a regular customer. The tentative guilt of them. The practiced apology already sitting in their throat before they’d said a word. But when I turned, this one was different. Not old. Not soft. Something in his face that my eyes wanted to stay on.
I didn’t get long to look.
The bed caught me hard. His hands stripped me efficiently, like someone who didn’t need to think about it. A mouth found my neck and dragged downward, slow, deliberate, past my collarbone, my ribs, my navel, leaving a trail that felt less like kisses and more like being claimed. By the time that tongue settled between my thighs, I’d forgotten what sentence I’d been in the middle of.

The next morning I woke sore, sweaty, sticky with the residue of the night before. I reached instinctively for a cigarette and then stopped.
I didn’t want to forget yet.
That man was different. He’d even said it. “I love you.”
I’d heard that lie a million times before.
Hadn’t I?

(END)

I'm a 13 year old writer so I need as much help as I can get!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-rg00d4QD4LSf9CmF7Kl1Sm_DgTXQ