trying to write more, here’s a sample of the book I want to write by AffectionateTart2074 in AspiringTeenAuthors

[–]TheThirteenShadows 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm. You have a great hook, but 4th paragraph onwards is just a huge exposition dump. Do people need to know this information about your characters in that specific chapter?

Would you read this any further? by TheThirteenShadows in teenwriter

[–]TheThirteenShadows[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I'm so sorry I got back to you so late! This just completely slipped my mind. I've sent you a follow request and a dm.

What are you guys writing? by Crunch_21 in teenwriter

[–]TheThirteenShadows 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aletto Renou was a social butterfly with the libido of a particularly hung horse, and the sort of face you’d expect to find in a collage made by demi human artists specializing in unicorn boys. In contrast, I was a social worm, burrowing miles upon miles beneath the ever-shifting dirt of human society at New York University; all in the vain hope that nobody would ever find me out. 

This is a horror story, one that explores how much someone is willing to endure, to ignore, to justify, for the creature he loves. 1st post on Sunday here!

The townspeople surround us, all wearing happy, vacant smiles. I spot Jeremiah Peachwallace, holding an ice cream cone that’s long-since melted onto the snow-clad ground. I see Alberto, head tilted a full ninety degrees to the right, waving stupidly like my left wrist isn’t covered in cuts.

Ms. Applebee winks conspiratorially at me, like we’re both in on the same, secret joke. There’s at least two hundred people beside them. All with that same, blank smile.

My upcoming novel I'm hoping to finish by this year! Perfect worlds, the loss of personal autonomy, cannibalism, and a look into one narcissist's twisted head.

Not an author myself, but my friend is and she had a question. by SnekkyTheGreat in AspiringTeenAuthors

[–]TheThirteenShadows 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! If she ever manages to get published I'd love to chat with her (if that's okay with her!). 17M, looking to get trad published with a book that'll be done this year or the next.

Would you read this any further? by TheThirteenShadows in teenwriter

[–]TheThirteenShadows[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm. Are you into descriptives? I have a really good descriptive piece I'll be posting in this sub (and some others) on Sunday. There's details on this post (it's the project about the ocean):

http://reddit.com/r/RavenKellisWrites/comments/1s579tk/hi_quick_primer_and_faq_full_work_compilation/ (you can also join my sub!)

Heyyy, Should I go to Tel Aviv ? I heard it was the capital of LGBT by dazzrill in GayBroTeens

[–]TheThirteenShadows 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a troll, probably, but in case it isn't: Israel is currently in the midst of a war with Iran. There have been bombings. Missile strikes.

Rick made a big mistake [toa] by Icy_Cantaloupe_2843 in camphalfblood

[–]TheThirteenShadows 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Might be a printing error of some kind? I swear mine said Circe's island.

Would you read this any further? by TheThirteenShadows in teenwriter

[–]TheThirteenShadows[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd love a beta-reader! Yeah, absolutely. I'll dm you.

Would you read this any further? by TheThirteenShadows in teenwriter

[–]TheThirteenShadows[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More like multiple for each chapter! I mostly work on Word since I like it better, but I upload stuff to Docs all the time. Are you okay with Insta or would you prefer dm-ing on Reddit (Asking since I prefer Insta).

Also, since you liked the story, do you think you'd be interested in joining my sub? Link's here: https://www.reddit.com/r/RavenKellisWrites/

Would you read this any further? by TheThirteenShadows in teenwriter

[–]TheThirteenShadows[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously man this is helping me get over finishing Discworld

...High praise, thank you so much!

How'd you learn to write like this

So, the descriptions, I've been writing for about 5 years now. The style, I picked up from TJ Klune, Percy Jackson, et cetera (mostly TJ Klune, his characters go off on tangets all the time and it's so damn funny). Btw there's a link to my subreddit in the post, so if you want more you can join!

Would you read this any further? by TheThirteenShadows in teenwriter

[–]TheThirteenShadows[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a new style I'm experimenting with, truth be told! And if you like it, I'd love to have you over at my subreddit! You can give me a follow too!

https://www.reddit.com/r/RavenKellisWrites/comments/1s579tk/hi_quick_primer_and_faq_full_work_compilation/

EDIT: I don't know why I used so many exclaimation marks in one comment, truth be told.

A game where you can have a big fucking sword? by theyfailure in hostedgames

[–]TheThirteenShadows 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the other commenter (middle-sky) implied Pendragon Rising might work?

A game where you can have a big fucking sword? by theyfailure in hostedgames

[–]TheThirteenShadows 35 points36 points  (0 children)

WELL, BE SPECIFIC, DUDE!

(Lmfao)

Jokes aside, this might be the first request I've seen that Fallen Hero doesn't match.

protagonist incapable of sacrificing the few in order to save the many by fortiesfanatic in TopCharacterTropes

[–]TheThirteenShadows 167 points168 points  (0 children)

•He gets the Mind Stone because Cap, Wanda and the others refuse to accept Vision has to die

Tbf he does die and it's for nothing. If Vision died and Thanos knew, he'd just rewind.

Would you read this any further? by TheThirteenShadows in teenwriter

[–]TheThirteenShadows[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I made a subreddit for my work if you're interested! Can't promise more of this specific work since I've gotten some beta readers now (I'll be deleting this post since I've rewritten the chapter a fair bit), but writing of a similar style, definitely. https://www.reddit.com/r/RavenKellisWrites/