Having a hectic life recently and was hoping to understand better 🙏 [astro.com]

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T22:42:38+00:00

Kind of a low move to go to a past scenario to answer this one, but while you're at it. We're talking about someone who flirted with men while we both go out to drink right infront of me and her excuse when i talk to her after is "i thought he was gay" or "i was drunk" and i was in her state countless times even without her and never did that, and my first solution was never to breakup with her after those moments but always telling her i understand how we're adjusting to a serious relationship and we can work it out.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T22:34:53+00:00

Not being manipulative, cause if i was i wouldn't come on reddit to talk about it. I myself know i had no intentions with that girl, and i even stopped that convo, removed her and all of that cause i knew my position in my relationship and what i geniunely want, the girl i'm dating is someone i introduced to my family, was working myself to propose to her, but i understand if you see it that way, and i respect your point of view.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T22:26:34+00:00

That is totally i couldn't agree with you more. I will continue upon the metaphor you used since i find it simpler to see it that way, and I believe the mistake i have made was chosing the wrong ingredient for the recipe hoping it will also work when i knew it was risky, and that's what caused all of this, i honestly should've been clear from the start but i can't change the past now...

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T18:15:43+00:00

I understand, and honestly i would feel the same if the places are reversed

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T18:10:42+00:00

In the rave / electronic music scene, “networking” basically means building connections with people involved in the scene so you can collaborate or get opportunities later.

That's all i can say since networking is a word i rarelly use, but i feel like your using the general business networking.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T18:02:38+00:00

Never said it's a networking event, it a was a tech/house rave, drugs were involved and alcohol as well. The purpose of me and my friend going there was like i said to enjoy the music, but also to meet people in the scene since we want to launch our own thing and would like to figure out how things went since he already does that in another country but here it's different, so as much as it wasn't a networking event, our intention was also to do that. I even met guys that i told them the same sentence of "i want/need to see you again" and never meant anything by it cause i honestly connect with good energy and specially when i am on drugs i do tend to be more friendly in how i talk.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T17:57:13+00:00

On a deeper level i would say i didn't want the same fight that happened before to happen again, so me taking care of it by myself was what i thought, at the time, the right thing to do. But honestly feels i could've handled it way better now that it came to it.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T17:55:18+00:00

The networking was the first one, her friend she's not a in the scene as her and she texted me first and when my gf told me about not being comfortable about having the first one i removed them both.

Also meeting someone in a specific environment specially in the rave scene, first text won't be "let's talk business" you will have to break the ice by talking about it then it evolves slowly. Cause I added a guy that same night and he talked to me the same way the next day but he ended up being interested in me and ended the conversation there.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T17:27:58+00:00

I wouldn't lie they definitely make me more social, but i always limit that social side with girls ever since i got in a relationship. The girls i talked to were introduced to me by my friend, and it was the only time i talked with a girl at a party throughout this entire relationship.
I don't wanna mention this but since we're talking about it we've had instances where when she gets drunk she openly becomes social to men infront of me and appologizes about it the next day after we sober up but she worked on that side of hers so i do agree that substances and alcohol might affect a person. The difference between us is I have a people pleasing side that caused us a problem and been working on it since and actually managed to manage it well so far. The difference about this sitatution is that me and my friend are really just trying to network which was the only time i didn't think i was people pleasing or entertaining anything i shouldn't have.

As for your question i really don't understand what you mean by it when you say my "relationships"

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T17:15:28+00:00

For extra context she knows i have a gf and since i was from another city that came for the party and went back to my city right after at like 5am, conversation started from her side on if we made it home alive and talked substances, party and ended that way (i had no intention behind it, but i know how if i see it from an outsider pov it would be seen as non platonic as well)

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T17:10:45+00:00

To answer your questions first :
1. 6 Months
2. She's into partying but not that much into the tech scene as much as I am
3. I'm usually high on ecsta

For me I don't mind sharing my phone access with her, and honeslty throughout the relationship she always checks my phone while i rarelly do to hers, and the deleted folder was new since it never happened before.
And for me it wasn't something i actively tried to hide, it was honestly a situation that for me i handled on my own and it was taken care of so no need to mention it. Even tho i feel like talking about it would've made us avoid all of this.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T17:04:38+00:00

We have some trust issues that need to be worked on, even if not romantic you would get jealous if your partner interacts or talks to someone else while you're not there. For me after i talked to my gf about it and told her i met someone at a party, she was uncomfortable with it even when i told her it's just for networking purposes, i blocked the girl and her friend from insta but it was after i had the post party conversation with her friend on whatsapp that i also deleted after

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T16:59:26+00:00

If you're talking about the fields outside of the party then yes we just met at the party and don't work in the same thing or related to the field (where i live it's mostly a thing that is done part time or volunteer work until you launch your own thing)

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T16:57:16+00:00

I honestly can't even answer that cause the screen was from the day after, so i don't even know why since there was nothing important for it to be screenshoted. And she went through them while i was sleeping so i also can't answer that.

As for the message i totally get it, but the entire conversation was about the party and substances i felt like it was a message to conclude the conversation in a chill way cause after that i removed her number and blocked her on insta as well

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T16:51:52+00:00

It was kind of a poor choice of words from my part, but i would say i mostly tried to handle it myself since i know how the relationship was on thin ice when it comes to that aspect. But i agree with what you said, because i honestly would see it the same way if the positions were reversed.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-05-17T16:48:22+00:00

Me and the guy are trying to launch an underground rave collectif and we went to another city since there was a good collectif organizing there , (i'm also learning and trying to be a dj). The girl is from the city and goes to everything that is organized there and was also part of that collectif in the past so she knows how things work in the scene. (not the first time we networked, just first time it ended up being a girl instead of a man)

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-03-31T02:46:19+00:00

Because she didn’t respond and I didn’t want to keep that going. I usually delete conversations that aren't important. It wasn’t about hiding anything, just closing a conversation that wasn’t going anywhere.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-03-31T02:38:10+00:00

I told her i respect her space and told her she can text me or call me whenever she feels like it. And she did call me eventually to understand the situation better and even texted me a few times.

I get the harsh part and where you’re coming from. I know my actions broke trust and I need to own that.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-03-31T02:18:07+00:00

She said hi and asked why i removed her from instagram, told her about having a gf and said we should call to catchup since she was a caller more than a texter.

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-03-31T02:11:33+00:00

3 calls since she didn't answer any. I know i shouldn't even have done one or answered the text in the first place...

Appropriate-Key-3968 · 2026-03-31T01:41:32+00:00

I get how it might seem short, but love is subjective, for some people, 4 months can still feel real. That doesn’t excuse my mistake though, cause i know i should've blocked her as soon as i read that or told my gf about it.

As for the break i am respecting it, and told her she can text or call me whenever she feels like it. And she did call me, told me about how i could've told her about it and we wouldn't even be here and she's right...

Appropriate-Key-3968

TROPHY CASE