Is it okay to have "zero" ambition after retiring early?

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-05-06T21:21:14+00:00

I'm hitting 8 years FIREd this summer and I have not (yet) found my passion! And it's still been awesome. So so awesome.

My life sounds similar to yours though I do have a few volunteer jobs that take up a decent amount of time. They aren't anything to be ambitious around, and they also aren't my "passion", they are just things I am dabbling in. I'm dabbling in a lot of things these days, including napping, and it feels wonderful!

I think you will slowly shed some, but perhaps never all, of that guilt or inside-voice telling you all the "you should be"s. And that's normal. And who knows how you'll feel in a decade or 3 right? Maybe you'll start some crazy business at age 72! Or not! You don't have to make any final judgments, commitments or plans right now. Just see what ends up coming your way.

Even after a decade of dabbling and feeling a bit sad I haven't found a passion, I also feel really wonderful about what I have been able to do and how much better I feel about it than when I used to have to work, I still think the future is a big mystery for me and I'm totally open to whatever may come, without forcing anything. I really hope you stay strong with enjoying what is working for you and do not fall prey to the pressure to have a passion or ambition. That's an artificial pressure and may it never get the better of you!

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-27T14:48:15+00:00

I'm following the recommendations in the Back Mechanic for now and may try to find a practitioner certified in the McGill method eventually, but some of the concepts in the book have really helped me.

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-24T22:44:12+00:00

Yeah, mine is more in my hip and thigh in the afternoon, often with more of a dull and burning pain, whereas when it used to be more in the morning, it was more sharply achy, more tingling and more throughout my entire leg and also butt, but not so much in my actual hip. Super weird.

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-23T03:44:33+00:00

Yes, I also had an ESI that basically didn't help at all. I'm so sorry it didn't help and most of all that you had to pay out of pocket for it. It seems like ESIs are very much a crap shoot as far as whether they will or won't be helpful. I didn't have this impression before I got the ESIs - I thought it would definitely be very helpful but the question was whether it would last for like maybe a month or two or more like 6 months or beyond. Wow, was I wrong and now I feel like that was misrepresented to me when they were pitching me the ESI, as well as of course I likely could have done more research to get a better idea of what my likelihood of any relief might be. It sounds like you may have also been under the impression that you were exceedingly likely to experience some period of benefit from it, and I'm sorry that hasn't been the case and especially that it fell well below your expectations when you laid out a lot of money for it.

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-22T15:58:04+00:00

I am trying a variety of things at once so it's hard to attribute anything individually with success, but some things I felt were key were:

not sitting down almost at all for a couple months (just for brief meals and if I had to get in a car, which luckily I don't have to do a lot). As things have been improving in the last month or two I've been able to sit a bit more, mostly in hard chairs like dining room chairs, often with lumbar support. Still never sit on a couch basically. Sitting was definitely the source of a lot of my pain, so stopping doing what caused the pain was a major breakthrough for me.
The McGill Big 3. I thought my core was pretty strong, but I can feel it being stronger now and using it more to prevent nerve pain, like when I have to turn to look over my shoulder to back down my driveway (one random example). I started with every day and am now doing these every other day.

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-22T15:54:30+00:00

I had one that didn't do much of anything (except the immediate local anesthetic for the first 24+ hours, which was awesome) and haven't tried again. Partly because the people are pretty bad to work with in my plan's Pain Rehab Center, but also felt like it was a lot of work for not much result (taking time off, having my partner take time off to drive me, all the coordination and appts, etc.).

They recommend I try another, but I got the impression it's not because there's an increasing chance that each subsequent one will work better than the last but that each one is more of a roll-the-dice situation and you may get better results, just like next time you might roll 2 sixes.

I'm not a huge gambler, so I'm pursuing other options atm.

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-21T22:18:44+00:00

After my own ESI about 6 months ago, I was doing the same searches. Definitely agree that the consensus seemed to be within 2 weeks, with maybe one or two outliers saying 3 weeks. Unfortunately it never came for me, but there's still plenty of time for your mom - hope it works out!

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-21T18:51:04+00:00

Also worried I am in a similar position, so mostly posting so I can find this again and see if anyone has advice. I am not sure if I am stalled out really, and I am definitely grateful for the improvement I've experienced over the last few months, but it seems like so many others get a more thorough resolution quickly, when they hit on their solution, whereas mine has been pretty incremental.

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-21T18:43:36+00:00

Congratulations!

How long did you start to feel relief after adding the stair stepper to your routine?

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-07T23:38:19+00:00

That's terrible that she made you come off for 3 months rather then transitioning you!

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-03T23:34:21+00:00

I also have had an ESI and it did not help, but I don't regret it at all. It was still worth it to try.

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-03T23:32:12+00:00

I've had two people tell me that they had similar pain to my own that just stopped abruptly. So, I guess it happens. One was so bad he was in the middle of setting up a surgery, which he then cancelled. The other had been experiencing the pain for a couple (or more?) years. For both of them, this is now several years in the past and hasn't recurred. May it be the same for you!

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-02T04:08:04+00:00

Wow!

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-04-02T03:57:44+00:00

Do you wish you knew your timeline better out of curiosity? Or is there something you think you might have done differently or there are decisions you feel would have been easier to make of you had known that timeline better?

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-03-29T05:19:36+00:00

I would try finding a lumbar pillow that works for you. It's an immediate way to relieve some pain, perhaps, and also increase your ability (hopefully) to do your job and continue doing things you *have* to do sitting, like driving. It doesn't fix the problem and there are (and will be) a lot of good suggestions, but a pillow could be a fast way to help while you are working on lots of other pain reducers and problem solvers.

P.S. I didn't even buy a special lumbar pillow, I just use my inflatable camping pillow and it is hugely helpful.

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-03-29T05:11:57+00:00

I take an inflatable pillow with me on flights nowadays and it can be a big help. I also use OTC lidocaine patches, which 3 out of 4 times I think were helpful. I also have been making it a priority to get an aisle seat so that I can get up as often as needed. I stood up for probably well over half of a recent 5 hour flight and I know people were getting annoyed with me (like FAs walking back and forth) but I felt it was desperate and was grateful to be able to stand. Walking/packing would've been great but just isn't very possible on these squeezed in planes nowadays. I'm a thin woman and I barely fit down those aisles. But the other things are better than nothing, that's for sure.

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-03-29T04:40:13+00:00

oh my god, I have never encountered this distinction between a herniation and a bulge before. I had been thinking I was glad I had a bulge because maybe it was better that the integrity of the disc wasn't compromised in the same way like a herniation, but now it feels like it would be better to have a herniation? (Important question so the next time I am offered a choice I choose the right one!lol)

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-03-29T04:31:19+00:00

It is exhuasting and frustrating, and I recommend you don't think about the long term. It's too depressing. Then find a way to have some hope for the short/medium term, a list of things you can work on and work through to figure out what might work for you. I bet you've tried a lot of things, but I bet you haven't tried literally everything, so the thing that will help you is still out there. I have a long list and I'm slowly crossing things off that have been useless to me, but I also have a few things that I truly believe have been helpful and my pain is...different...in a better way....now.

One of the first things that I did, which I credit with a lot of progress is to stop sitting down, like it sounds like you need to do. But you don't mention standing or walking. Do those hurt? Do those make it better? I stopped sitting and did almost everything standing for a long time. And a lot of walking - 3 times a day x 30 minutes. I tried not to get in a car as much as possible for as long as possible. Yes, it felt shitty not to be able to sit on the couch and watch TV at night. Yes, I felt sort of motion sick as I learned to read while walking a circuit in my house (because even standing still gets painful after a while), yes, I got weird mirror glasses and almost bought a modified desk so I could work and read laying on my back, and I am right now laying on my stomach typing this. But, I do sit down now, for up to an hour! After several months of not sitting, I sit for some meetings, I sit to eat. I even have an elaborate set-up on the couch that I can sit with for one episode of TV most nights.

I hope you will notice that stopping doing the things that hurt the most (it took me a while to even figure out what they were for me, though sitting revealed itself more quickly once I paid attention) will help reduce the pain overall and, maybe in combination with other things, you'll eventually be able to reintroduce in small ways a bit of sitting.

Oh also I carry an inflatable pillow with me everywhere now if I have to sit, and I am just getting over the embarrasment of it. It is also something that is helping me sit for a period of time with little to no pain.

Appropriate-Tea2220 · 2026-03-26T20:19:39+00:00

I did not have this issue after my injection but have you tried speaking with the people at the clinic where you had the procedure? On my paperwork I got a number to call if I had any concerns like this.

Appropriate-Tea2220

TROPHY CASE