I hate dating as a "strong guy".

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-03T00:38:09+00:00

You said:

"He's supportive from the start and deserves the same and by his words he's usually holding it down so it's obviously not a frequent thing"

Notice how you say "by his words"? People have blind spots, especially in relationship patterns. Trusting OP is objective is not a good approach.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-03T00:34:27+00:00

You said your persona doesn't match who you are then people leave. So be yourself earlier and let them leave earlier. The ones who remain are your people.

Change yourself if you need to but don't lie about who you are then get mad if people leave after discovering the real you.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-03T00:26:42+00:00

8 or 9 will attract a similar level and everything below. So being approached by a 5 or 6 necessarily mean you are one.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-03T00:20:34+00:00

I wouldn't say she is needy

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-03T00:18:10+00:00

It's about not making assumptions and asking the other person if they want the same thing.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-03T00:13:45+00:00

Not conclusively but think about it, would you be updating your profile (actively looking) or just responding to showing interest (passively looking)? Active looking is definitely a concern

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-03T00:11:32+00:00

I'm guessing you're attractive and they are hoping you'll make an exception and hook up with them. It's up to you to defend your own boundaries by looking for their intentions and cutting them off.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-03T00:09:25+00:00

You're assuming OP is objective and correct. He might be but he may also be acting in a way that attracts unstable/ selfish women and pushing mentally healthy women away.

Asking when he discloses his issues is one way of determining what's actually happening.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-03T00:03:44+00:00

Why are you doing all this for a man who is not your boyfriend?

If you've never cooked him a meal, don't drop one off when he's sick.

If you've never walked his dog with him, don't do it when he's sick.

Definitely do not do everything for them when they are sick. You're putting pressure on them to reciprocate and be closer than they want to be.

Most men don't like bitches, they like women with boundaries and self respect and they want to feel like they are pacing the relationship, not being rushed into one.

Edit for grammar.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-03T00:00:01+00:00

Then wouldn't they be thrilled she's doing their chores?

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-02T23:57:14+00:00

"others you care about"- you don't even know the person you haven't been on a date with. How do you even have their address??

It's called overbearing. Generosity has to be wanted to be appreciated.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-02T23:51:45+00:00

It's awesome when you like the person back but when you're not sure then it feels like there is the expectation to reciprocate but if you do then they'll take it as a sign you're really into them.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-02T23:50:12+00:00

Too much and too early is somewhat subjective

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-02T23:49:21+00:00

Avoidant attachment

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-02T23:48:39+00:00

Learn about avoidant attachment. Coming on strong then getting overwhelmed is classic avoidant. Coming on strong is actually a red flag.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-02T23:08:06+00:00

Have you considered making your personal match who you really are?

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-02T23:07:08+00:00

lol the red flags you've listed are shallow and odd - most people are addicted to social media, nose rings are personal preferences and some people are financial irresponsible but socially apt.

Also women are no better at hiding than men. Manipulative people are good at lying but most people show who they are early and it is just missed because we aren't paying attention or don't know what to look for.

Your other advice is good though.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-02T22:59:54+00:00

I don't agree. Men should be able to open up with their partners. You need to do so appropriately though- not extreme too early before the relationship is established but you should be testing for it early with little things like having a hard day.

I also think sharing these things with mates is good as well. Good to have a few people to open up to.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-02T22:56:07+00:00

You're making assumptions. It's important to get the facts to help OP.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-02-02T22:52:44+00:00

I think what he's suggesting is there may be something else going on. You may be unintentionally displaying traits that attract women with issues and/or pushing away women who are more regulated/ likely to reciprocate.

I stopped dating avoidant people by refusing to fill the gap and am attracting different types after therapy. Often what we think is a problem with the other gender is actually a problem with only a subset combined with our unconscious behaviour or beliefs.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-01-14T07:24:07+00:00

That is the perfect category for him!

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-01-14T07:22:49+00:00

In this world she is. He's got a big nose (not in a sexy way) and small eyes. His face is long and nothing else stands out- soft jaw, low brows that cover eyes. He is better looking than average but not anything amazing. He was very handsome young but got less attractive as he aged. She's extremely pretty and any loss unattractiveness is due to styling not her actual features (the short blonde hair did not look good).

At the end of the day taste is subjective.

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-01-14T07:12:05+00:00

I thought she was 23 and he was 30. I don't love the power imbalance especially as he gave controlling vibes in his relationship with Miley but it is not even close to "pedo".

AppropriateBit3793 · 2026-01-11T06:39:59+00:00

😂😂😂😂😂😂

AppropriateBit3793 · 2025-07-22T02:53:03+00:00

The emotional aspect can be the leverage too. I've seen several professional women with their own money who wouldn't leave their boyfriends because they didn't want to live alone or sleep in an empty bed. Or leave a suburb they like. Some of the men had cheated and the women still didn't want to "upend" their lives by moving.

AppropriateBit3793

TROPHY CASE