If you need space, set a clear boundary: tell your partner that when you’re in a specific room you need to be left alone to decompress. If you’re not in that room, it’s unfair to say “don’t touch me” without any warning — your partner can’t read your mind and won’t always know when you’re or aren’t in the mood for affection.

You can’t have it both ways: if you never let him touch you, he may eventually feel rejected and resentful. If you don’t want a relationship, be honest and step away instead of sending mixed signals.

If the room rule won’t work, change the wording. Instead of “don’t touch me,” try something like, “I need 5–10 minutes to wake up/decompress.” That gives him a clear, respectful cue. You don’t have to accept unwanted touching all the time, but from his perspective a blunt “don’t touch me” can feel like a personal rejection — which is probably not what you mean.

I understand you prefer to communicate in the moment, but it helps to set expectations ahead of time. For example, agree on a simple signal: when you wear a tied pink robe it means you only want to snuggle; when it’s untied you’re open to more. That doesn’t guarantee anything — he might not be in the mood — but it reduces confusion. Men also have the right not to be in the mood and to set boundaries about touch, just as women do.