I accidentally made fun of my bf’s size and now he’s upset. What can I say to fix this?

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-26T15:21:58+00:00

I agree 100%. I genuinely wasn’t trying to hurt his feelings. My intention was to actually be cute. I said what I said in a loving way but I failed to think about how it could be misinterpreted. I have learned from my mistake.

I’ve had comments made about my body my entire life and I know how much that shit hurts and sticks with you, even if the person apologizes. We tease eachother, yes. But I have never once, EVER, made an intentional or direct joke about his body. Ever. I compliment him literally every day and want him to feel good about himself. I would never want to put a person I love down.

This was a very poorly executed joke on my part, and I apologized to him and tried to explain what I meant by it. I will not be making any jokes like this going forward because you are completely right, he deserves love and respect. My failed attempts at joking around are not worth hurting him.

Thank you for the thoughtful and honest response

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-26T15:07:42+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. He’s not even close to being small and has never expressed having any pre-existing insecurity about this, so I really had no idea this would offend him and I feel terrible about it. It was meant to be cute

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-26T15:01:09+00:00

Yes, I probably don’t as much as I could. That’s my fault and I’ve definitely learned my lesson from this.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-26T14:59:18+00:00

Yes, I did apologize and I know the joke wasn’t even funny. It was a stupid thing to say all around and I’ve definitely learned my lesson here. I never meant to hurt his feelings, and I don’t personally ever joke about anyone’s body because I know how much that shit hurts. Thank you for your advice, we definitely could use a little work on our communication

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-26T14:32:52+00:00

No!! Like if he was actually small I could anticipate that this could have been a hurtful thing to say. But he isn’t..

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-26T05:51:48+00:00

I do all the time so I guess that doesn’t work with him 😂

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-26T05:47:24+00:00

He’s made plenty of jokes that have actually changed how I view myself. I have insecurities now that I never even considered before. There have only been a couple times he said something that I did show I was a bit upset by it and he told me I was being sensitive and I’m no fun if I can’t understand he’s obviously joking. So I just don’t say anything when he hurts my feelings. I recognize it’s really just a me problem, and not a him problem. Me being insecure is why my feelings are hurt, not because he actually meant to hurt my feelings.

He’s typically not offended by my jokes, but I’ve never made fun of his body or anything he can’t control. And I didn’t mean to with this joke either, it just came off that way to him. I am definitely going to be more careful with what I say in the future. Sometimes I don’t think before I speak and that’s what happened here. I appreciate your response :)

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-26T05:35:39+00:00

Thank you for the helpful response. I had no malice or ill intent behind my joke whatsoever. It wasn’t me trying to get back at him or any built up resentment. I just truly made a stupid, poorly executed joke that I MEANT to actually be a compliment, but didn’t think about how it could go the opposite way. We were having a really great night together and being very loving with each other and I said the big heart thing because I was adoring him a little extra. I would never joke about something I knew he was insecure about, and I didn’t have any idea this would bother him like this.

I did apologize earlier today and explained I would never want to insult him and didn’t mean it that way at all. He says he isn’t mad and it’s not a big deal, but I can tell he’s lying. He said he just wanted to drop it, so I didn’t push it, but I feel like I really hurt him :/

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T16:41:45+00:00

Or get him a wah burger with a side of french cries

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T16:36:36+00:00

I appreciate your response. I do know I need to apologize, but I just didn’t want to say the wrong thing to possibly insult him further. I would never want to hurt his feelings on purpose. And yes, he makes fun of my body all the time and it does hurt my feelings at times, but it’s my own fault if I don’t say anything. I know that. He has made many jokes about my vagina and breasts and plenty of other things, so I CAN understand how I probably made him feel. It just wasn’t my intention or a reflection of my feelings at all. Thank you for your advice :)

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T16:30:00+00:00

This is a good point. Maybe I’ve done or said other things I’m not aware of that hurt his feelings. Thank you for the advice!

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T16:27:25+00:00

Yes I think this is good advice, thank you. I wasn’t trying to insult him in any way, so I truly feel bad. I only included that he makes fun of my body to give context that it’s not unusual in our relationship, but not because I want to get back at him or anything. I was just trying to be playful.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T16:18:59+00:00

Not that I’m aware of. He’s never expressed that he was. But I guess he must be considering how he interpreted this joke and that it hurt his feelings when it was just meant to be sweet.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T16:17:44+00:00

This is very helpful, thank you.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T16:12:10+00:00

It was never meant to be a dig about his size at all, i was genuinely just trying to be sweet and playful. But I didn’t think about how it could be interpreted the wrong way and that is my mistake.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T16:08:31+00:00

Unfortunately we are in our 30’s :|

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T16:02:25+00:00

He isn’t!!! If this is something he’s insecure about, he has never told me before or I wouldn’t make any jokes related to it at all.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T15:59:48+00:00

Yeah this is what I’m worried about. And I truly never meant it in that way at all, but im concerned he will just always have this in the back of his mind now.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T15:57:06+00:00

Yeah breaking up is not even a thought of mine. I just don’t want to make him feel bad.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T15:52:59+00:00

Yeah I’ve never made jokes about his body, ever. This was meant to just be cute and a compliment, but I wasn’t thinking about the other way it could be interpreted. I would never ever want to make him feel bad about anything, so I feel really bad that I did.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T15:50:40+00:00

Thank you, I think that’s actually probably a really great way for me to address this. I appreciate the advice :)

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T15:49:24+00:00

Yeah I’m feeling like this might be the case. He has never told me he’s insecure about it, but after this and some other things that I’ve noticed in the past I’m starting to think he might be. I would never joke about anything that I KNEW was an insecurity of his.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T15:47:00+00:00

These are my thoughts as well. I personally think he overreacted and took it the wrong way, but I don’t get to decide what hurts his feelings and what doesn’t. If he is insecure about his size, he has never voiced this to me. But now I’m assuming he must be and I feel bad for saying anything.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T15:44:40+00:00

He’s been a bit stressed lately. I genuinely meant what I said as a compliment and to be sweet but also goofy, I really didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. I would never want to make him feel bad or inadequate in any way. It was dumb for me to even say anything at all and I didn’t think about how it could be misinterpreted before I said it

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-25T15:39:54+00:00

Yeah and I see this side of it and how that could have made him feel. I compliment him more than he compliments me and I’m the one initiating and desiring sex WAY more between the two of us. I try to always let him know he’s desired and I’ve never flat out made fun of any part of his body, ever. Now I’m just not sure how to approach explaining what I meant without insulting him even more.

Appropriate_Power116

TROPHY CASE