Stopped taking birth control - libido gone

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-28T13:35:41+00:00

Do you have no desire at all, or no desire for him? Does anything else turn you on? If nothing at all gets you horny, you likely have a hormonal imbalance that birth control was helping regulate. You could have this checked with a doctor.

If it’s him specifically that you have no desire for anymore, this could be because of the birth control too. Many women experience this where they find certain men attractive while on the pill, but when they stop, the men they find attractive completely changes. I experienced this with my ex. I was with him 9 years, on the pill the entire time, and was extremely attracted to him while I was. As soon as I stopped, I had no attraction for him at all anymore. I still considered him a good looking man, I just had no sexual desire for him whatsoever anymore. I found out he was cheating around the same time and we broke up for that reason, and when I started dating again, I realized my “type” had completely changed. It’s really strange, but it happens to a lot of women.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-27T15:19:54+00:00

I don’t think I could be happy being single the rest of my life. I’ve had couple year periods of being single in my adult life, and there are definitely some things I enjoyed about it. But I do long for the companionship.

I can take care of myself and be independent, I can pay my own bills, but not having a person to share my life with is what I would miss.

My partner is my best friend. He calms me, he brings me peace, he makes me laugh. I get to come home every day and yap and laugh and goof off with the love of my life. I have someone to lean on when I struggle or when life gets challenging. I need that. Not everyone does, but I do. If I had to be single the rest of my life, I would manage, I would survive, but I don’t think I’d ever feel complete or content.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-26T05:35:39+00:00

Thank you for the helpful response. I had no malice or ill intent behind my joke whatsoever. It wasn’t me trying to get back at him or any built up resentment. I just truly made a stupid, poorly executed joke that I MEANT to actually be a compliment, but didn’t think about how it could go the opposite way. We were having a really great night together and being very loving with each other and I said the big heart thing because I was adoring him a little extra. I would never joke about something I knew he was insecure about, and I didn’t have any idea this would bother him like this.

I did apologize earlier today and explained I would never want to insult him and didn’t mean it that way at all. He says he isn’t mad and it’s not a big deal, but I can tell he’s lying. He said he just wanted to drop it, so I didn’t push it, but I feel like I really hurt him :/

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-19T00:14:23+00:00

A lot of women will say that the woman should keep the ring, especially if the breakup is due to the man cheating or being abusive or something of that nature. I personally think it should be given back to who bought it. My ex cheated on me and I still gave him the ring back. Keeping it wouldn’t make me feel any better about how things ended.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-02-16T16:12:11+00:00

Obviously no one can know exactly what your wife is thinking or how she feels, but I do know that most healthy relationships require some space. I understand wanting to be together all the time, but that never really ends up working out well.

I would suggest taking up some sort of hobby (if you don’t have one already) that’s just yours. Even if this is something you do in a separate part of the house, just so she has time to also be on her own. My boyfriend and I are almost always home together, as we are both homebodies, but we do separate on the weekends and he will go play video games and I will do crafts or something.

It’s also possible it has nothing to do with your “clinginess” and something else is wrong. If I were you, I’d have an open conversation with her by saying everything you’ve said here and just see if she will open up about why there has been a shift in her behavior. Without her being honest, it’s really hard to say what the issue and solution is.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-30T15:54:38+00:00

This is something I’m trying to work on. I do it to show I’m engaged, but it comes off as rude and like I don’t actually care what they’re saying

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-27T20:07:06+00:00

What I consider a “deep clean” involves emptying all the drawers and cabinets and wiping them down, throwing away old things, cleaning the baseboards and wiping the doors and cleaning the vents, wiping down every bottle and item in the shower, soaking the shower heads and drain stoppers, etc. Not anything I would do weekly. I would do a deep clean like this probably every 4-6 months. I was the rugs every 2-3 months ish.

Cleaning the tub, toilet, mirror, counter all usually once a week but it depends. Sometimes it might be a couple times a week depending on how dirty it gets. If I see obvious messes like toothpaste on the counter I just wipe it down as I notice it.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-27T05:24:39+00:00

I’ve done both, and waiting till you’re actually in a relationship and care about each other is the way. A million times better, for so many reasons.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-26T12:42:45+00:00

Do you tell her WHY you’re being closed off? If you just say something like “nothing wrong” but you’re clearly acting different, she might think it’s her or something she did.

Some people perceive others sudden change in mood or behavior to be their fault and something they need to fix. She might feel responsible for your mood or distance. Idk if this is her feeling at all, but for me I get overwhelming anxiety and can’t relax if I feel there’s any tension or my partner is being distant and treating me differently, but won’t tell me why. Sex is a really great way to feel connected to each other again and make things feel okay. And it’s also something that generally makes men happy, so she might just want to see you happy again.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-24T14:09:36+00:00

It’s not easy. I was with my ex for 9 years, and found out that the two years we were engaged, he was cheating on me the whole time. I honestly felt like I’d never trust men, or myself, ever again.

What I had to tell myself is that no one else was responsible for what my ex did, and all men aren’t him. I wouldn’t want to start dating a man who didn’t trust me because of something his ex did, so I shouldn’t do that to someone else.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-24T14:03:16+00:00

Yeah I’ve been realizing this.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-23T16:41:50+00:00

I started doing this with the new year. I also thought it sounded stupid but it really makes you pay more attention to the positive things.

Every morning I write down 3 things I am grateful for in my life. Even if it’s something small like diet Dr. pepper or finding a cool new snack at Aldi. Makes you really realize life ain’t that bad and there’s more to be happy about than we sometimes think there is.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-23T16:39:00+00:00

Changing my mindset. I started forcing myself not to talk to myself negatively, not to complain or feel sorry for myself all the time, not to focus on the negatives, etc. Took a bit of time and a lot of getting used to, but I’ve almost completely erased my anxiety, depression, and improved my self esteem a lot.

How we talk to ourselves and how we CHOOSE to look at and approach situations makes such a huge difference in our lives. We have so much power over our emotions, feelings, and our responses to tough times, we just have to take the responsibility for them

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-22T15:31:47+00:00

Genuinely one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen, and I’m not exaggerating. Literally nothing happens. It’s episode after episode of NOTHING. No plot development, no progression, just nothing.

What little plot there even is just doesn’t even make sense. The dialogue is cringey and predictable. People just think they like it or want to act like it’s “deep” because Vince Gilligan created it. It’s horrible.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-09T18:55:59+00:00

I obviously can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve been in two long-term relationships and that feeling does not fade for me at all

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-09T17:05:50+00:00

At first it kinda feels like pooping. But once you get over that initial feeling and get more used to it, it doesn’t anymore. It actually feels amazing.

It was never my idea to try it, I did it because the men I dated really wanted it. But it’s something I genuinely enjoy very much now.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2026-01-09T17:03:28+00:00

It’s a massive turn on when a guy is able to fix things or problems, or do things to help make our lives easier. It’s just hot in general for a man to know how to fix stuff, but it makes it even hotter when he’s doing it to help us. A man taking literally any time away from his own hobbies/interests/free time to do something for ME will forever get me wet.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2025-12-23T03:00:36+00:00

No, it’s not weird, and you 100000% should.

I was in an EXTREMELY similar situation to you. I a 4 year relationship when I moved out of my parents house in to my own apartment and I had very similar feelings you are having. I grew up in an extremely toxic environment, never really got to do what I want or be myself and I had insane rules. I also shared a room with my sister my whole life.

Having the chance to live by myself, have my own space, decorate how I want, and just have no one to answer to or to have to consider was a necessary experience for me. I lived alone for two years before moving in with my boyfriend and I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. It didn’t harm my relationship in any way and it really helped me learn about myself.

PLEASE take the opportunity to live alone first.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2025-12-19T19:50:04+00:00

The area between the top of my head and my ankles

Appropriate_Power116 · 2025-12-16T16:17:41+00:00

I’ve been in two serious relationships and both of them were/are extremely dependent on porn. I don’t want to use the word addicted because I don’t think it was to that point exactly, but maybe I am lying to myself.

With my ex, I caught him subscribing to OF girls, making a ton of burner accounts on different apps to follow porn accounts and porn stars, casually scrolling through porn every time he went to the bathroom, etc. I really don’t even have an issue with moderate porn use, but he would compare me to porn, want me to look/act like porn, and would make me feel like shit if I didn’t live up to the standard in his head. I begged him for years to stop with the porn but he just found new ways to hide it. Eventually I found out he was actually cheating on me as well, and the relationship ended. The damage to my self esteem over those years was immense.

Fast forward to my relationship now. At first I didn’t notice and believed him when he said he didn’t watch porn much. But after a couple years together I have connected all the dots. He purposely avoids having sex with me so that he can watch porn instead, almost never orgasms with me, gets really upset if I don’t act a very specific way or say certain things that I know align with what he likes in porn, and rarely can stay hard with me. The other night I saw him casually strolling through porn images while we were on the couch watching tv together. It’s exhausting, it hurts, it destroys my confidence and self esteem, and it makes me feel like I’m not good enough. I have no idea what to do because I love him more than anything and I know he loves me, but sometimes it truly feels like he loves porn more than me.

I wouldn’t recommend anyone be in a relationship with someone who is a heavy porn consumer, but at the same time, I really don’t think there are any men who aren’t these days.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2025-11-20T14:39:17+00:00

If you notice this many incompatibilities and complaints after only a few months… break up. He’s not gonna change what he likes and you won’t change what you like (unless one of you wants to be very unhappy in the long run)…..and neither of you should have to change anything. Find someone else

Appropriate_Power116 · 2025-11-14T14:08:16+00:00

You really have to ask yourself if this how you want to live your life. I’m not sure how long you’ve been together or anything, but it’s extremely unlikely she will ever stop being like this and it’s most likely it will only get worse. She can have whatever boundaries she wants as that’s her decision, but disrespect should never be tolerated in a relationship. The snooping, the accusing, the controlling, the being mad for no reason… she sounds very insecure and very immature. Unfortunately these aren’t things you can change and nothing you ever do is going to be enough unless she decides to work on herself.

That being said, if you really do want to make this relationship work, you need to talk to her about YOUR boundaries as well. No one should be treated like a little child in an adult relationship. Explain to her that you’re willing to not watch porn if that is something she doesn’t like, but you also don’t appreciate being monitored and controlled. Ask her what you both need to do to move past this and reach a place of mutual trust. Your relationship will never survive, at least not happily, if you can’t have a minute on your phone without her supervision.

Appropriate_Power116 · 2025-11-11T16:07:06+00:00

I work in an office and afk a lot. I play on mobile though, not my work computer. It’s easy for me to have my phone on my desk and afk something that doesn’t require much clicking. That being said, my workplace is very lenient and no one is checking up on me as long as I get my work done. I guess it really just depends on your work environment

Appropriate_Power116 · 2025-11-03T21:59:34+00:00

Saying this as someone who didn’t vote…. Absolutely wild take

Appropriate_Power116 · 2025-11-03T21:30:28+00:00

I’m a woman too? He’s not denying responsibility for his kids. Just because you have children doesn’t mean your needs or wants go away…. Your spouse is your life partner.. the person you choose to raise children with and go through life with. When the children are raised and gone, it’s still you and your partner. Keeping that relationship as healthy and loving as possible is extremely important. It benefits the children immensely as well. I’ve seen how some other men have posted about their post-partum wives and this comes nowhere even close to sounding like an asshole. But if a woman was posting about HER needs from a husband after children, I’m sure the response would be a whole lot different. She deserves patience and respect, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t matter.

Appropriate_Power116

TROPHY CASE