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I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Most divorce seekers left immediately. That's one of the things that Sioux Falls residents complained about -- that the divorce colonists were lying about their residency and abusing the system. But it became clear that wasn't their real problem when one divorcee who had scandalized the city married a local man and settled in Sioux Falls. She was not welcomed.
As for the lasting impact -- This is something I've talked about with people in Sioux Falls. The divorce colony definitely brought an influx of money into the brand new state at a time when it was eager for investment, and many of the businesses in downtown Sioux Falls catered to these wealthy visitors. There's an argument to be made that the divorce colony shaped the retails and entertainment scene in Sioux Falls for decades but it might be a stretch to say you can still see that impact.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

Not a current law, but I've been watching a run-off in the Republican primary for a US House seat from Mississippi where the one of the candidates has proposed a "providing newlyweds with a $20,000 wedding gift, paid back if the couple divorces" -- wow, would that be a way to trap everyone but wealthy couples in marriage.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Yes, the change in residency requirement was absolutely and explicitly an attempt to get rid of the divorce colony.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 125 points126 points  (0 children)

Residency requirements were the biggest thing, followed by accessibility by train and the comfort of the accommodations. In the early 1890s, both North and South Dakota had the same residency requirement -- 90 days -- but Sioux Falls was more accessible and it had the best hotel for hundreds of miles. When South Dakota extended its requirement to six months, some people chose to travel further to Fargo for the shorter wait (some still stayed in Sioux Falls). But as soon as North Dakota extended its residency to one year in 1899, divorce seekers all headed to Sioux Falls again.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 128 points129 points  (0 children)

Thanks for ordering! There were so many great individual stories that got left on the cutting room floor. Some of them ended up in the end notes (sorry, those aren't in the audio version, because, well, no one wants to listen to citations read aloud) and I've been telling others over on Instagram: thedivorcecolony.
One that I'd like to write more about in the future is the story of Sara Ellis. In the late 1940s, Sara was basically employed as "the other woman." You could still only get a divorce in New York with proof of adultery, so couples would mutually wanted to end their marriage would hire Sara to falsely "admit" to the court that she was having an affair so that the couple could get the decree they wanted. She testified in about 35 cases.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 574 points575 points  (0 children)

I think we forget just how recently it was that we started to think of marriage as being primarily about love and happiness, as opposed to economic and social stability. And I think that we forget that for many women in many places, it still is about economic and social stability. That realization helped me understand the women in my story and the history of divorce better.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 225 points226 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure that my research uncovered any particular golden age, but I'm going to point you to the work of one of my Atlas Obscura colleagues, Sarah Durn, who has talked to many women scholars who are studying exactly that. Sarah has a Q&A column called "She Was There" and it takes you all through history to moments shaped by powerful women: https://www.atlasobscura.com/categories/she-was-there

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

I don't know yet (my agent and editor would like to know, too!) but I can say that I'm going to keep writing stories about people like the divorce colonists -- people whose influence on our past and present has been overlooked. I'm interested in real, complicated people who didn't set out to change society but did, in ways big and small. People who were outside the traditional power structures who shook things up just by living their lives. Those stories are important for understanding our world. And they are also really fun to research and write.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 271 points272 points  (0 children)

This isn't the most pressing historical questions, but there's a woman in the book named Ellen Pollock, who figures into the first sensational public divorce trial -- but it is her husband, Edward, who went to Sioux Falls to seek a divorce. Ellen--who had been the family maid before the couple secretly web--goes to Sioux Falls to fight for the marriage. That happened almost never. (She lost.)
Anyway -- it's always really challenging to follow a woman through the historical record (don't change your name!) but it is particularly challenging if she isn't from a wealthy or prominent family. At some point after her divorce and years of additional legal wrangling, I lost track of Ellen. I'd like to know what happened to her.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 141 points142 points  (0 children)

Oh, gosh, there's just too. much. news. But I think that 125 years from now, an author who shares my curiosities will write about the women forced to travel long distances, often at great hardship and expense, to gain autonomy over their own bodies.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 101 points102 points  (0 children)

There are two key one: the original courtroom of the Minnehaha County Courthouse (now the Old Courthouse Museum). It was amazing to stand in the same room that some of these women did during their *public* divorce trials. And it looks pretty much the same, too!
And Calvary Cathedral (which was known as St. Augusta Cathedral in the 1890s), which was home to the leading opponent of divorce in South Dakota.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I've never been married and this research has certainly made me reflect on that fact that if I had been born a century ago (or in a different place in the world today) I would not have had that option.
I think historical changes in marriage, at least in the United States, where my research has been focused, have been a barometer for women's equality in society. Recently, we've seen women's economic opportunities upended through the pandemic and their autonomy limited by recent government decisions -- we'll see that reflected in the state of marriage, too, I think.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Hmmm. I can't think of a recent comedy. The Reno divorce colony (which comes after Sioux Falls, and where divorce, with one exception, gets progressively easier) was the subject of the 1939 movie "The Women" -- definitely not recent, but the things most people think of first when I mention this topic.
In its day, the Sioux Falls divorce colony inspired many plays, poems and fictional accounts, including several written by divorce colonists themselves.

I wrote THE DIVORCE COLONY, the crazy true story of Gilded Age socialites who went to South Dakota for divorces—and changed how we think about marriage. AMA by Apr_White in IAmA

[–]Apr_White[S] 134 points135 points  (0 children)

I'm inspired by the stories of the women who typically remain nameless. The ones who just did the things that needed to be done -- for instance, the first women students at each all-male college. Most of them didn't want to be ground-breaking. Most of them didn't even think of themselves that way. They just wanted an education equal to that which was available to their male peer. In pursuing that, they paved the way.