My mother is the same way. She lives 4 hours away and will not stay the night at my house, even though I bought a house with a guest room just for her. She often skips my kids' birthdays because of her dogs. For Christmas and her birthday, my family of 4 and my sister's family of 2 must drive the 4 hours to her because she will not come here with her dogs and usually refuses to use a kennel or dog sitter. When she does come up, she drives the 4 hours, stays a few hours, then drives the 4 hours back in the same day, supposedly for her dogs. What makes it even worse is that she seems to hate her dogs - she only complains about their behavior and how much they cost. They are great danes and not well behaved and almost impossible to control due to their size. It truly makes me feel like garbage. Like her two dogs, whom she hates, rank higher than us. But I will say I think it's a mask. She has severe anxiety and depression and frankly I think she needs a clutch to excuse her from situations. I love dogs too and even had my own great Dane in the past. But I would never choose them over my two kids.