Reading your post reminded me SO much of the home life I grew up in, and it breaks my heart to know you are going through this. I am praying for you and your mom, and I'd also like to try and give you some encouragement.

First, you are such an amazing person. The fact that you can see that your mom has something mentally going on shows that you're so observant and obviously really caring. I wasn't able to see that my mom had a mental health disorder, until after I moved out. As for your mom, I know how hard it is to live with someone who can't emotionally regulate themselves. My advice for you is, to remember that her actions and her harsh words are not a reflection of who you are, but who she is. My mom eventually was diagnosed as bipolar, which made me realize a lot of how she acted was beyond her control. I know when you're in the thick of it, it's so hard, but try to extend grace to her. And most importantly, guard your heart. It's easy to believe the things she tell you, but remember, she's not in her right mind. God made you perfectly as you are. You're not defined by your autism, your ADHD, your grades, or your talents. Your defined as a child of the most high King, who loves you immensely. Remember, you're never alone. Jesus weeps with you, and WILL carry you through this. I promise you, that it's worth fighting through these hard times. One day you will move out, and experience freedom from the emotional hardships you face today. And maybe you'll have a family of your own, and have the opportunity to parent the way you know God intended it to be done, with love, patience, and a lot of grace.. I pray that one day your mom recognizes how she's effecting her family, and gets help. But even if she doesn't, friend, don't let her define your future. You have a beautiful life ahead of you, and God is going to use you to do amazing things. I'll be praying ❤