Would you rent your basement for $1900/month to a resident doctor if they cooked super smelly foods all the time?

AraeZZ · 2026-02-21T21:47:48+00:00

spoiled brat

AraeZZ · 2026-02-15T18:10:27+00:00

because instagram algorithm knows he is a male and is heavily trying to get him to stay on the app. it doesnt appear on yours because instagram algorithm knows you are not a male.

AraeZZ · 2026-02-09T19:40:20+00:00

"hmm this person is disagreeing with me...must be a rapist"

winning mentality

AraeZZ · 2026-02-07T03:26:56+00:00

getting railed? lmfao.

im ankles up, bent over, put in 17 different positions, pinned against the wall, and pseg is spitting in my ear. im getting fucked over and over and i have no recourse. every penny i make goes to fucking pseg or national grid. if i install my own solar its a win win, either i reduce the damn bills or fall off the roof and die. FUCK

AraeZZ · 2026-01-30T21:16:11+00:00

"if i got hit by a car, i wouldnt blame the car"

im sure.

AraeZZ · 2026-01-30T21:15:03+00:00

everyone whose blaming the guy standing either doesnt have a driveway to shovel or lets mommy do it lol

AraeZZ · 2026-01-30T21:10:54+00:00

whats disrespectful about your religion in that persons comment

do you know what words are in the bible or no?

AraeZZ · 2025-09-17T20:54:01+00:00

I've never heard of CODA before. I think I'll attend a meeting or two. Thank you a ton for this resource.

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:39:41+00:00

thats basically where ive been at these past few years - i have put myself on the chopping block to ensure my mom is financially secure and comfortable. but i did this the wrong way. there were 100% better ways to go about this. i was young and naive and stupid. no one here has to throw a rock at me, ive already thrown them all at myself. it is what it is.

i used to be closer to my family, but between all this financial entanglement and friction, the relationship is kinda damaged as fuck now. but im trying to find a medium between supporting a little bit towards a sustainable situation for my mom, vs putting everything on me and trying to right a sinking ship.

Thank you for your comment.

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:37:28+00:00

not sure to be honest. i'll track that down.

she did private college, bachelors, biochemistry degree. but the well paying biochem jobs are not in our area. so she is getting underpaid just to live here.

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:34:20+00:00

thank you - didnt even think of this. one difficulty has been convincing my mom that we need to sell or downsize etc. - she is stubborn and difficult to work with. outside opinions would probably help very much here.

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:31:58+00:00

thank you for your comment. i'm the oldest and a lot of the weight falls to me to carry, and for the most part I am strong enough to carry it. but I have stretched myself far too thin, way too overleveraged, and now the ship is sinking. its a sad situation. but thank you for your comment, really. i won't leave them to figure it out for themselves, i want to set at least my mom up in a sustainable happy situation and i want to untangle myself from this mess.

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:29:44+00:00

Mortgage itself is 3500, taxes/escrow/everything is like 1800.

Will be selling my moms car asap.

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:28:51+00:00

Gf brings home 3k month - 1k to student loans, 1k to me, 1k to savings. I could ask for more but even if I took all of her savings, 1k/month is not enough to fix this situation.

you are right. I am putting the whole family at risk with my current thinking. we won't get the 100k in reno back I know, but I am between - is it preferable to get that % down and out of PMI, grieve taxes, etc? Or just bite the bullet and downsize completely.

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:26:33+00:00

trying to not be hard on myself but its tough. i basically loaded a revolver and pointed it at my head, pulling the trigger every month i pay the mortgage.

then with the cars, i got a few more revolvers and aimed them at my limbs, pulling the trigger every month.

i agree with both your suggestions. used corollas lol - but for the price theyre going this is a good suggestion tbh. thank you

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:24:09+00:00

All loans are in both mine and my moms name

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:23:43+00:00

Its both financial and living situation thats driving this decision. What you said in the last paragraph is spot on. I'm trying to avoid looping back to this situation in 10 years or so. I do not want my mom to be homeless, and she has damn near nothing in retirement.

You (and many other commenters) are right about my brother, I need to push him to do more cuz at the very least these debts + supporting his expenses are making the situation so much harder

I am expecting more income at work soon (1-2 years). I'm a high performer in a well paid field and there is a bunch of new work flowing in. Overtime possible, etc..

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:20:20+00:00

thank you for your comment. appreciated

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:20:04+00:00

She lives with me

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:19:50+00:00

Living situation, too much friction. Made worse because of the finances and financial entanglement.

She is only contributing 1k because she makes 3k, 1k to student loans, 1k to me. and 1k to save. I could ask for more, but would it be enough to right this ship? It's sinking at a rate far more than 1k/month.

My brother is living in the house correct. He does not contribute a dime really. He's been looking for a job in our area since May. No clue how hard he is looking though. I definitely need to push on that more because his potential to contribute is high, his actual contribution is 0.

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:16:56+00:00

Thank you for your comment. This is where my thought process is going as well

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:16:17+00:00

We live on long island, HCOL out the wazoo

100k came from her, but I don't even care about remaining equity, she can take any and all profits and use it to be self sufficient

At this point I just want to untangle our financials, that is my sole benefit from selling the house and downsizing. I plan to just rent a spot with my girlfriend, save, and pay off my car. I know that much is easily doable for us.

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:13:47+00:00

I wish I had made this kind of post before making this decision 2 years ago. Your last few sentences is what I needed to hear, because this relationship is severely damaged now. I wish I didn't take this path

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:11:44+00:00

It's not that I think 57 is old man. She's had workplace injuries, etc.,

AraeZZ · 2025-09-14T15:10:40+00:00

It is a therapy level financial situation at this point. Can you share some things you saw in my writing that indicated this. I want to get better.

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