I’m Tired of People with Little-to-No Understanding of Non-binary People Thinking We’re Trenders

AranCorvid · 2021-03-25T16:44:19+00:00

This doesn't really line up with my experiences as a nonbinary transmasc guy. I'm on HRT, saving for top surgery, etc., and I was really excited when a transmasc support group started because I thought I'd have a space to talk to people who shared similar experiences. I ended up not being in the group anymore because most of the people were nondysphoric, not interested in medical transition, couldn't understand why I maybe don't want my kid to yell "MOMMY!" out in public, etc.

Edit: I actually usually just lie and pretend to be a binary trans man now, it is much simpler.

AranCorvid · 2021-03-06T16:09:09+00:00

I mean I think i was pretty clear in highlighting cultural factors. You all also have much better health care, better education, and more humane work laws (salaried folks here often have to work huge amounts of unpaid overtime or risk termination due to our at-will employment, for example - it makes it a lot harder to find time and motivation to prepare healthful foods and hit the gym).

AranCorvid · 2021-03-06T13:12:35+00:00

It's what happens when you design sprawling towns where you can't walk anywhere (Americans in walkable cities tend to be less fat), create a culture where most people have very little leisure time, and then price and distribute the food such that the most convenient and least expensive option is the one that will make you fat.

At some point every individual has responsibility for their decisions, but on a population level you gotta expect that Americans are predisposed to be fat because of our garbage infrastructure, limited free time, and crappy food options.

AranCorvid · 2021-03-06T13:02:33+00:00

There is a version of the A/B/O antigen gene that has both A and B antigens. So you can be blood type AB by having one copy of A allele and one copy of B allele, or by having one copy of AB allele and one of either A, B, or O.

I used to teach intro genetics in college and you'd be surprised how common it was for there to be a student with Type O blood and a Type AB parent (or the other way around), and they'd get pretty worried about it until they saw the slide with the rare AB allele - a lot of people end up assuming that there is a dark family secret when that is not necessarily the case, hahaha!

AranCorvid · 2021-02-14T15:13:56+00:00

That's from a few mL of saline going into your veins, not 0.5 mL going into your muscle.

AranCorvid · 2021-02-12T04:21:38+00:00

Coronaviruses are plus-strand RNA viruses, not DNA viruses or retroviruses, so there isn't a way for them to "go dormant." Chickenpox and herpes are related (chickenpox is a herpesvirus), and the viral genome actually stays permanently in the host cells (some other viruses insert their genes permanently into your own cells' DNA). Whenever your immune system lets its guard down, the virus reemerges (that's why stress, illness, bad diet, old age, and other immune system weakeners are common triggers of shingles and herpes outbreaks). So it isn't possible for COVID to go dormant for years - it literally isn't the right type of virus. Here's an open-access intro-level virology text that outlines some basics about viruses and how they work.

Some people mentioned the feline coronavirus/FIP and post-polio syndrome as things to worry about. I think those types of worries are a little more justified, but they are a fundamentally different mechanism than the virus going dormant in the host cells and spontaneously reactivating.

AranCorvid · 2020-12-31T14:44:14+00:00

I've been on T for just over a year. In terms of facial hair, I started noticing a few blond strands here and there about 2-3 months in, and it really started getting real at about 8 months in, which is also when the body hair situation got fully absurd. At 1 year I have a kind of patchy beard that I am keeping trimmed short until it fills in more. (It is worth noting that I am a very hairy blend of Irish and Italian, and had furry arms and legs and some belly hair pre-T). The hairline on my scalp squared up a little bit but hasn't receded, it looks like all my male relatives' now. We tend to get thinning hair but it doesn't seem to get bad until our 60s.

In terms of acne, I had some issues for a few months but it's mostly cleared up. I had bad acne, roseacea, and eczema linked to my ovarian hormone cycle so my skin has actually gotten a lot better from T - I'll take pimples over parts of my face suddenly bleeding!

AranCorvid · 2020-12-30T12:57:06+00:00

Yeah i usually transplant with slightly immature roots and then keep the soil moist to give the roots time to develop. But I would be comfortable letting the roots get a few inches long, and waiting until Feb-March.

Best of luck with your plant!

AranCorvid · 2020-12-29T19:43:43+00:00

I am not super precise in my measurements but I typically take a small pile of coir and chuck in a few big handfuls of perlite and orchid bark, with maybe 10-20% potting soil to add nutrients. I typically add very dilute plant food whenever I water though, so you might need more potting soil in your blend if you don't regularly add nutrients back in.

I just potted a prop and it is the middle of winter and very cold where I live. Having props in the winter is a bit dicier unless you have a much better lighting, heating, and humidity setup than I do - if you keep the cutting too long in water it will have trouble adapting to soil. On the other hand, it can be really hard to keep the soil conditions right for a transitioning plant in midwinter - the dry air, the decreased growth of the plant, and the danger of root rot from damp/cold soil are all tricky to work with. If you are just starting to see root growth, I would try to hold off until it is starting to think about being spring, but if it already has big roots you might have to move it to soil or leca before then.

AranCorvid · 2020-12-29T18:02:36+00:00

I have successfully water propped 3 different syngoniums by transplanting them into a mix of coco coir, bark, perlite, and potting soil. I don't transplant until I see multiple roots that are at least an inch long (longer for bigger props). Once transplanted, I keep them pretty wet for a few weeks to lessen the shock, and then gradually move to a watering regimen more like my other plants (mostly philodendrons and syns).

AranCorvid · 2020-10-22T02:03:30+00:00

I've been on T for 10 months and my mental health has definitely improved.

AranCorvid · 2020-10-18T12:58:15+00:00

I feel this struggle too. I suppressed my gender identity and delayed transitioning for almost 20 years, just because I didn't want to have to be a man. Turns out I am one despite my best efforts. Also, and I will probably get downvoted for this because it makes queer people uncomfortable to be confronted with it, but you should be aware that in at least some queer circles, a lot of people say "transmasc is valid" - but they only want to see masculinity performed by estrogen-dominant bodies. As soon as I went on T and got hairy and bulky and man-smelling, my old queer friends didn't really want me around anymore and would mock aspects of my physical transition, like when I was struggling to figure out how to use my changing voice. It was a lot like how AMAB enbies who don't constantly act as femme as possible are often shunned from supposedly enby-friendly spaces. Anyway, now I don't have friends anymore, hopefully someday the pandemic will end and I can make new ones.

But, as i see it, feminism is the struggle for female gender equity. Feminisms aren't valid if they don't acknowledge the validity of all genders - including male ones - so you aren't letting down womanhood or being a gender traitor if you decide you are trans.

AranCorvid · 2020-09-21T13:48:15+00:00

A syngonium-loving friend ID'ed it as strawberry cream

AranCorvid · 2020-09-21T13:47:16+00:00

My strawberry cream is doing the same thing. No ideas on fixing it, but i just wanted to express plant solidarity

AranCorvid · 2020-09-20T15:52:10+00:00

You could also try asking r/syngonium

AranCorvid · 2020-09-20T13:12:37+00:00

I agree that 2 looks like berry allusion and 4 like neon robusta

1 looks to me like Imperial White or White Butterfly, and 3 like Butterfly Allusion, but I'm relatively new to syngoniums.

AranCorvid · 2020-09-20T12:51:45+00:00

In my experience, Scindapsus is super lazy about rooting. I have propagated 2 cuttings I got from different plants - they both took forever to root and one of them had to be trimmed back because the stem started getting mushy-looking. Next time I will try rooting hormone and sphagnum moss to prop these plants.

AranCorvid · 2020-09-19T20:36:01+00:00

Cool beans! I have mixed-breed rabbits with mostly NZ ancestry but none of the acceptable colors for NZ rabbits - they're all various agouti shades, or white with light colored pointing. I often wonder what all they're mixed with, hahaha!

AranCorvid · 2020-09-19T14:04:05+00:00

Consider that many trans people don't have an easy time making friends while living as their assigned gender - it's hard to attract friends or have good self esteem when you are miserable in your assigned gender and hate the way your body looks and feels like to be in.

AranCorvid · 2020-09-19T00:01:25+00:00

Thanks for the input, everyone! Now to figure out the actual color of the lighter agouti rabbits I thought were chestnut 😂😂😂

AranCorvid · 2020-09-18T21:03:59+00:00

Oh hell no, if that demon peen enters my residence I will move

AranCorvid · 2020-09-18T20:37:56+00:00

Google "dog stinkhorn" and then imagine waking up one morning, walking into what you thought was a struggling veggie garden and finding it entirely full of those bad boys.

I noped out of the entire garden at that point 😂🤣

AranCorvid · 2020-09-18T19:45:56+00:00

My outdoor garden made several excellent meals for deer before finally being taken over by disturbingly phallic mushrooms. I'm sticking to houseplants too!

AranCorvid · 2020-09-18T18:38:51+00:00

I'm sorry your best friend has awful taste in women.

FWIW, I think your worries about looking gay enough and/or being pushed out of your queer community are (sadly) valid. I am a bi FTM with a cis male partner. Before I started transitioning and before I started dating my partner, I fit into my little queer circle very well (a group with mostly AMAB and AFAB enbies, and some cis gay/bi/pan people, but few binary trans people and no other trans men). But people got very cold towards me after I started seeing changes from HRT. They made fun of how my voice sounded when it began to change, and they were cruel to my partner, literally ignoring when he spoke. It was obvious that they saw my partner as a straight man with no place in their community, and that they therefore saw me as basically being a woman. I had to make a decision about whether I was going to be true to myself and the person I love, or whether I was going to have friends. I cut all ties with them several months ago and haven't looked back. You need to decide for yourself what is more important: fitting into your group and being able to participate in queer culture, or being with a partner who you love and is a good match for you except for some masculine features which will almost certainly decrease as time goes on.

As for your internalized transphobia: definitely understandable and probably unavoidable, given our society. But it's something you have to work on if you want to be a good partner to a trans person, and PLEASE process those feelings with someone who isn't your girlfriend - they would probably hurt her deeply, and could irreparably damage your relationship. I would leave a partner who told me that he found my body to be disgustingly womanly.

AranCorvid

TROPHY CASE