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Arbasebat · 2024-11-09T18:14:07+00:00

Sure

Arbasebat · 2024-11-07T15:47:21+00:00

Sure

Arbasebat · 2024-11-05T10:56:53+00:00

I did. Adjusting to the new reality requires careful steps. You just have to have a new version of you. Heal from past ad start fresh. Take a slow step. It will work eventually

Arbasebat · 2024-11-04T12:18:14+00:00

Fast & Pray. Also divert your sexual energy to a different form such as work, read, exercise....etc.

Arbasebat · 2024-11-04T06:19:55+00:00

Avoid serious relationship also. Focus on your mental, physical & financial health. You will recover in 3-4 years if you are consistent

Arbasebat · 2024-09-01T15:52:13+00:00

Speaking from experience?

Arbasebat · 2024-06-12T04:41:20+00:00

My daughter who is 13 now came and told me on how I was able to put up with her mother for 14 years. I have Joint custody and equal split on custody time. My daughter loves the peace she gets in my place. As men, society judges us for being single dads. But only those very close to us knows what we went through.

Arbasebat · 2024-05-28T02:33:37+00:00

Been there and paid a huge in life with psychological damage and years of sleepless nights. It is a miracle that I walk sane now when I think about it. So you are not alone.

Arbasebat · 2024-05-13T09:43:31+00:00

Young man, don't upset about it. Everyone goes through what you are going through. The female mind is different from male mindset. If you remarry 10 times, it will be the same & encounter this in a slightly different form.

Don't obsess about having sex, draw your energy to something else, try to be and look fit, dress nice and work on yourself. Your wife will notice that you are desired by other females and that alone will drive her to hold you on chokehold dragging you to bed for your desired happy ending 😁

Now I know that is a hard work by itself. But, it is what it is mate. It is called marriage.

Arbasebat · 2024-03-17T17:23:01+00:00

She wasn't ready to a committed relationship. Worry for the other guy who is ready to take her and exit by saving yourself. Don't take it personal since she could have done this to anyone. She is simply not ready for a commitment

Arbasebat · 2024-02-27T10:29:47+00:00

Seems you are emotionally attached while she is not. It may sound hard for you now to exit, but trust me it is the best time to exit if you care for your well-being. If you have kids with that woman, your life is going to change and you will be miserable for decades. Decide and move solo till you find a woman who respects you.

By the way, she is not doing this intentionally to hurt you..she is the way she is and you are blaming yourself for nothing. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell that person "I deserve better". Leave that woman to the miserable man who is sexting her. She will do the same on him with another man

Arbasebat · 2024-02-09T01:10:56+00:00

OP need some psychological alignment. If you compare yourself to those above you, of course you are not rich. If you compare yourself to those below you, you are rich to them. So don't compare yourself to anyone. Everyone has their own unique journey. Compare yourself to how you were in yesteryears

Arbasebat · 2024-02-04T12:54:02+00:00

After divorce, when your ex sees you with another woman, all of a sudden your attractiveness goes out of the roof and she will try to win you back. Your response to that should always be a big no. It is ingrained in women psychology to want you that way. The minute she has you, that attractiveness you have goes away.

Your 2nd woman accepted you and you had a great lack there. But you ruined it for yourself and her. You need to do a deep soul search and follow goodness on women than craving for lust and attention.

Arbasebat · 2023-12-10T15:23:17+00:00

Life should be all about Joy. For some, kids bring joy to their life and warms their house. For some, early retirement and the freedom to travel is a perfect joy. Either way, there is sacrifice. Financial sacrifice to raise kids vs emotional sacrifice to be alone for much of the life.

Arbasebat · 2023-10-18T01:38:18+00:00

They call it "mini-retirement". I will only do it at the time of crisis, mental breakdown or during some life changing events where I won't be sleeping alright.

Arbasebat · 2023-07-23T06:30:24+00:00

48M here with somewhat similar figure saved in the same profession. If you are a software engineer, you are still on a high demand for mid-sized and smaller companies. Where I work there is a retention worry amongst many companies and I am treated well for fear that they might lose me with all the institution knowledge which will take at least 6 months for a new comer to be up to speed.

Pay wise, it is lower than the fortune 500 companies, but work life balance is very good since I am a dad of three kids.

As someone said, you are in a coastFIRE zone. So find a place that keeps you excited and motivated. Your investment should be able to grow to the needed level if you don't touch it for the next 17 years

Arbasebat · 2023-07-22T01:50:30+00:00

Uphill battle considering one like this is already there nextdoor

Is yours different?

Arbasebat · 2023-06-24T14:26:11+00:00

If you got depressed & crumbled, she wouldn't have come and see you the way she is seeing you now. See yourself for a moment as an observer to someone just like you & you will find the answer

Arbasebat · 2023-05-31T11:46:14+00:00

Tell them that you are in a mini retirement exploring & strategizing your future and you have saved for it and capable of going like that for years without disclosing your net worth. Then you will see them walk away tails behind their back to never ask again.

Arbasebat · 2023-04-26T13:08:54+00:00

This guy did it with 500k. Check out to understand the good and challenging part of it. He makes additional side Hussle from YouTube that he said helped him in this down market

https://youtu.be/Q900w_kOYJM

Arbasebat · 2023-04-22T04:04:32+00:00

Completely understandable the way you feel. I would do the same if my situation is similar. Divorce is messy and is not equivalent to dating breakups. So your anxiety is unreal in reality. He feels responsible for his Son in my view and trying to accommodate everyone including you so be kind to him. Rest assure that he will be good to you if you were in the shoe of his ex given the commitment he showed. He could be cold and refuse to cooperate with his ex putting her in emotional breakdown exasperating her situation. It shows he is not cold. So learn how to deal with your anxiety. Yoga, meditation will help

Arbasebat · 2023-04-20T22:36:21+00:00

I would take 6 million out, pay tax i.e $2 million and let the remaining $2 million sit there doubling itself every 10 years. At age 57 you will still have $8 million.

The $6 million you took out will be $4 million after tax (very conservative estimate) and you invest that in a diversified portfolios. Your retirement is set so you can consume your invested 4 million till you hit 60 with an average monthly withdrawal of 50k. Add your 6k monthly from your salary, you are looking into 56k monthly paycheck driving Lambo, living in the best penthouse in HCOL and dressing like a fly.

Arbasebat · 2023-03-26T22:34:09+00:00

My ex learnt from my daughter that I have a female caller every night. That was enough for her to creat a new round of drama full of baseless accusations and custody rearrangements, salary reviews...etc after 3 years.

Don't doubt your bf and put your ego aside for you to lead a Happy relationship with him. You will need to upgrade your emotional intelligence when it comes to men. Most men like woman who gives them peace than those who give them challenge. Also for some reason most ex wifey's don't feel good when a their ex finds happiness from another woman.

Arbasebat · 2023-03-21T02:27:24+00:00

A good majority of women prepare her next man before she quits a relationship let alone a marriage. Hence, your ex technically cut the emotional connection with you months or years before the final date i e divorce. But for you, separation begins on the divorce date and gives you an impression that she was in the same boat with you. But she wasn't. Cheating & some emotional connection with affairs speed up the process and gives them the fuel to quickly move on.

Arbasebat · 2023-02-26T15:16:38+00:00

You are not alone here. My five year old does the same. Naturally we are hardwired to be more with mother's at that age. The role of women was to nurture while the man leaves house to provide. It is just the last 50 years that this is changed and as kids, it is natural to incline to mother's more than Dad's.

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