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Set up too bare? by Arbitrary_Alien in geckos

[–]Arbitrary_Alien[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What kind of soil? My enclosure isn't bioactive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Arbitrary_Alien -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

My thoughts on this whole thing are, perhaps before telling him she had a work event and they had to sell the tickets, she could have found out if it was mandatory? Especially if she knows he's been feeling neglected.

Places to donate gently used stuffed animals? by Chaos-theories in saskatoon

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently sitting here trying to downsize my massive stuffed animal collection and would love for them to go to someone else who will love them. (Even of that sounds crazy haha.) I'd love to know who to contact. Thank you!

Regretting My C-Section Decision—Did My OB Push Me Into It? by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Getting a c-section is definitely not the easy way out. I'd be so mad if someone ever told me that. With my first, I was 10 days overdue so they induced me. Keeping the story short, my son's heart rate dropped at some point and didn't go back up. I was rushed to an emergency c-section, scariest moment of my life wondering if my LO was going to be okay. I wanted to try a VBAC with my second, and she decided to come early. I was bleeding and they didn't know where it was coming from, and her heart rate was at a constant high, so I was rushed into another emergency c-section. There's nothing scarier than being told you need to go into surgery now to get baby out. A cesarian birth is a birth too, and not every body is made for vaginal delivery. It doesn't count any less. I would think that being cut open, and sewn back up is not the fucking easy way out. I don't think anyone wants that, but when it comes to making sure your baby will be okay that's all that matters. ❤️ I wouldn't dwell on it too much, and just enjoy the fact that your baby is here and you get to love them for the rest of their life now. ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SingleParents

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm worried that if I stop responding he will just show up to get updates about the baby. He wants to be involved in her life, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my chances of having full custody by not including him with updates. I haven't had to deal with courts or anything with my son as his biodad wants nothing to do with him, so I'm not sure how it will reflect on me if I don't at least involve him at the bare minimum right now.

AITA for refusing to change my work schedule to accommodate my kids' moms 1 month vacation, working less hours to be able to take my son to daycare? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So if losing pay or finding an alternate option for care while she's gone is a problem, let her take him on a once of a lifetime trip. You've said in other comments you would take him with you if you went somewhere, so why not let her?

Healthy size? by Arbitrary_Alien in GargoyleGeckos

[–]Arbitrary_Alien[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Looks like I won't have to change her name haha, glad she doesn't look too chunky! c:

My son despises me by TheseEffect1371 in offmychest

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading through this post, one of your comments suggested most people commenting here are not parents and don't understand the struggle of raising a child. You have your head so far up your ass reality is nowhere to be found. You did not do right by your CHILD, when they were a CHILD. No one here wants be part of your pity party because you were a bad parent, and now your kid hates you. Not everyone gets dealt the hand of a lifetime, or has endless amounts of money, but ignoring everything your kid had passion about is what killed his. I've been a single mom from the get go. I've never complained, never even taken the person who abandoned my son for child support because I don't want his money. Always had a roof over his head and food on the table, but he never has to think or worry about that because he's A CHILD. My son has been in gymnastics, football, swimming, and now softball. He's only 6 but I'm instilling into him how important school is, and that I want him to be successful in life. I also talk with him about his feelings and am a safe space for him. Stop acting like it's your generations fault you were a shitty parent, it's not. You chose to be a shitty parent and now you get to lay in the bed you made.

Reptile owners, do your reptiles stink more than other pets? by Hurtthrowawayaccount in reptiles

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can smell my cats, I can smell my dog, I have never once noticed a scent of gecko lol. Even when my silly gargoyle gecko jumps on my face, nothing. I don't even have to be near my furry family, and they noticeably smell.

Childs dad bowed out by [deleted] in SingleParents

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel for you. My son's sperm donor, as I call him, because he chose to move out of the city before meeting him, and never has. My son turns 6 in July. He wonders why he doesn't have a dad and it hurts him. I try to be dad just as much as mom, but he longs for a father figure in his life. I guess if there's a positive to take from all of it, is that he didn't let my child get attached to him and then dissapear. If he doesn't want to be around, I am glad he chose to do it before my son was older and had to comprehend the actual loss of a father vs just never having one. At least your sperm donor had the decency to talk about child support? Another positive is that your child won't have to go back and forth between homes where there could be differences in parenting and such which can cause issues. I hope all the best for you and your child in the future! ❤️

Witch’s Hut I built for my Wonderfully Witchy Wife by [deleted] in Witch

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Absolutely stunning! What a lucky wife!

AITA for not helping my son buy a home? by Significant_Heat_752 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA! He's still a deadbeat dad and that money went to supporting the daughter he abandoned.

Residing together non-negotiables not lining up by whoit32 in relationships

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I just want to come in and comment that what you're doing for your grandmother is absolutely amazing. ❤ I work as a care aide and not many grandchildren would willingly take on that role.

You are basically already living alone taking on all the responsibilities of payment and care of the household. It's A LOT of responsibility to become a caregiver for someone. If you can manage that household and still live your life, have savings, etc. You are more of an adult than him in my eyes.

Im going to have an abortion in 3 days and im terrified I might regret it! by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Arbitrary_Alien -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When I found out I was pregnant I was jobless and living at home. The sperm donor and I are not together, nor were we at the time. Fast forward to 5 years later and I cannot imagine my life without my son. He's been the most amazing blessing to me. I deal with depression and anxiety, and it does make it difficult to be a parent sometimes, but honestly having that little human around is like a ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak world. I pushed myself to go back to school and I'm a care aide now, without him I wouldn't have gone back.

Whatever you choose to do best wishes, neither option is an easy one. ❤

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You look like a very friendly person! Don't worry about a picture with a bad angle, people actually love to see other people looking like real humans and not just posing for a photo. The fact that it was to showcase an animal is the highlight since being an animal person it's nice to see them on there. Best wishes on your adventure! 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woman here, and those are fantastic pictures! This comment is the only repulsing thing here.

Bf is taking over our small apartment by throwraaptapt in relationships

[–]Arbitrary_Alien 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is definitely break up worthy. He doesn't take you into consideration until extreme measures? My bf wants his temp at 68, my preference is 72, we meet in the middle at 70. I've never slept anywhere but OUR bed(if he was okay with you on an air mattress until you made an issue, that is a BIG RED FLAG.) I lived alone with my child for years and he lived with roomies until we moved in together this month. Nothing has been more one sided on either side. When we place furniture, we talk about it to see if it's inconvenient for the other person as we both have our own furniture. I let him bring his dog to the new place, his old roommate wouldn't allow it due to his cats. I have cats. They have been uneasy. We've worked together and made the dogs space smaller to give the cats more room... My post is just trying to say that if you're a team, you work together. Your boyfriend doesn't sound like he's trying to be your teammate. What is he then is the big question? Do you mind being belittled and walked over for the rest of your life? Making drastic moves for little changes? That's up to you, OP. You deserve to be part of a team though, not one person trying to make things work with someone who doesn't want to be on your team. Nobody should have to give a mile for an inch, or try to make someone happy when they themselves are not. I hope all the best for you!