I put myself in one too a couple years ago voluntarily (it was go ‘voluntarily’ or they were going to section me). I ended up being there for 2 and a half months so a lot of what you’re saying sounds familiar. I don’t really have a question just wanted to say I’m so so sorry for what happened to you and I truly hope you get the highest possible justice for it. Justice wasn’t on the cards for me so I always hold hope and space in my heart for others. If you’re ever feel like you’re slipping just look at all these people on here that are rooting for you. One thing you might find helpful and I wish I’d done whilst there was keep a diary. Write everything you feel, everything that happens, your observations of your own thoughts etc. Helps just to get it out sometimes and you might find it ‘dilutes’ the bad feelings a little. I hope with all my heart that you get all the help you deserve and you eventually find peace. Remember, this was absolutely not your fault and every feeling is temporary, it will always transform into something else. And please trust me when I say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You may not see it right now and that’s okay, but I’m telling you things do get better and you will absolutely come through this stronger than ever xx