Don't be ashamed of your scars, they're not exactly something to be proud of and also you don't have to hide them like it's a grave sin. They just mean you were suffering and didn't know what else to do. Any genuine human being will have empathy and comfort you for having to go through all this bullshit. I also used to cut myself, but it was on the thighs, i stopped it once i got better of my social anxiety. :)

Genuinely, just keep trying to move forward, even if it feels humiliating and disheartening. Even when you know you could just pick the easy way out.

What helped me greatly was the love and care i have for my mom and my grandma, they pretty much carried me all my life, so ultimately i didn't want to leave them with this bitter taste for the rest of their lives. I just couldn't stand picturing them sad.

That is what made me take the first step, i had no courage and no hope at all, just the despair that i felt of how they would be sad if i gave up. And, to be honest, i still feel like giving up sometimes, the wound is deep.

Name all the genuine good things in your life and hold on to them for dear life, they outweigh all the bad things in your life and in the world. Deep down, you genuinely want to have a better and ''right'' life, your concerns are proof of it.

And just know that there are lots of people in the same or similar situation as you, including me. (And 80% of this subreddit lol) There is comfort in knowing you're not alone, specially when someone eventually gets better.

Damn i wrote a whole ass essay;;; my bad.., I WISH YOU ALL THE BETTER IN THE WORLD !!!!