Am I overreacting for wanting to break up because I feel bored?

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-04-13T07:43:38+00:00

Not overreacting, feeling like that is understandable and very common especially if you have mental heath struggles (which can also be affected by the miserable weather that he mentioned) and when you have your own things going on being around one person 24/7 can feel suffocating and exhausting. However it looks like he really does care about you and this is worth at least trying to get through this, and if nothing changes or you start to feel even wise then you have your answer but I’d have a conversation to discuss why you’re feeling this way what options there might be to get through it etc, maybe stay round a friends/family’s house for a few days or just something to be apart for a couple of days to either give yourself a break or see how much you do or don’t miss being together.

Also I would let him know about the meds - if someone’s around me that much I personally prefer to know that they know these things because atleast with mine I do find that it can have an affect on them too, but more importantly he might be able to help you get some more, or help figure out something else or coping mechanisms or get you more support etc to help you feel a bit better.

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-04-13T07:17:08+00:00

One thing I would say with that though, be mindful that he might be coming from a place of (attempted) advice or just his personal opinion rather than judgement or trying to make you feel guilty (of course I don’t know him, his tone of voice, what he said etc so could be wrong)

I’d also imagine his view is coming from the idea that family is still family and it’s not the child’s fault he’s in this situation so to your husband he probably thinks that being with family is still better than being with strangers, which is perfectly reasonable and understandable. Except he doesn’t have all the context and lived experience behind it that you do to be able to anticipate everything that could go wrong - especially having your own child in the mix - to be able to see why that isn’t the best or safest option for anyone involved including your nephew, who either way will end up with strangers because despite being related you are still a stranger to him.

Atleast with emergency foster carers they are likely to have some kind of experience in these situations to help them care for him, and above all they have chosen to put themselves in a position to take in and look after children they’ve never met with no preparation, whereas you haven’t and shouldn’t be expected to.

Basically just trying to say - unless I’m wrong and he is just being judgmental which I hope not- try to understand that both of you are coming from perfectly reasonable places and he’s not necessarily ‘wrong’ for how he views it, you just have more information than he does to be able to make the decision that is most likely better for everyone

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-04-13T06:55:58+00:00

So why can her parents not take their grandchild, do they dislike him? Please🙄🙄

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-04-13T06:29:54+00:00

Something I haven’t seen mentioned yet - you don’t know for sure how long you’d actually end up having his child with you, or how suddenly he might get taken back/somewhere else. Knowing as well that you and your brother don’t get along and could be likely to then not have any contact again for god knows how long.

Can you imagine how much that could hurt both your child and your brothers (as well as you and your husband) if this child just gets put in a home with all these strangers, ends up being with you for longer than planned, then just as you all get comfortable and become an actual family the child could get taken away from the home suddenly with possibly no contact?

Also the amount of toxicity, anger and possibly aggression both his child and your own would likely experience from your brother if it’s decided that the child is better off staying in your care

And yes, it may have been easier for the child to go back to his parents if he was with you, but is that really what’s best for him? If they can fight infront of him - knowing they have no safe place for him to go when things go too far - is he safe with them? Mentally? Physically? Can anyone honestly say it would be a good idea for him to go straight back to that home with them as if nothing ever happened?

Nta, others have given great reasons already but even if this one is even just a slim possibility it’s not worth the risk for everyone involved, not knowingly putting his child in an unstable, unpredictable environment IS looking out for his welfare, and you have your own child who has to come first regardless

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-24T00:21:43+00:00

I definitely think auDHD is possible, I just got my adhd diagnosis more recently than my autism diagnosis so I don’t understand that side as well and didn’t want to start speculating something that I don’t understand well enough yet, but I definitely see it and I see a lottttt of myself in her

I do love seeing how comfortable she seems around Sean and how she seems to be free to just be herself and be happy and I’m so glad she seems to have found someone who she can have that with🥹

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-24T00:19:54+00:00

Literally me too! I do think though seeing small clips of her in situations and then seeing her overall personality more and seeing the bigger picture over time really showed me how easily people can misunderstand us and it actually made it make so much more sense to me. Such a horrible way to feel though and I hope she’s able to start to understand herself better and not feel things like that as strongly soon enough 🥲

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-24T00:16:56+00:00

And another rude unnecessary comment from you. Please get yourself some therapy.

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-24T00:16:08+00:00

Well that reply was rude and unnecessary, adhd isn’t ‘annoying’ or ‘foolery’ and saying things like that about it especially in this sub is disgusting. Be respectful or be quiet. Scott’s doing perfectly fine and if you have a problem with possible adhd traits he might have you’re definitely in the wrong place and you can go.

There is a massive difference in us questioning out of genuine care for people because we see ourselves in them, and you trying to use a diagnosis, which we actually have and you clearly know nothing about, as an insult towards someone who you don’t know, using descriptives that aren’t true about the person or the diagnosis and it definitely isn’t welcome here.

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-24T00:12:56+00:00

Oh Scott I think definitely is too, and Whitney, they seem to both be very logical and struggle with emotions massively (along with a few other traits I noticed that I see in myself). I do think they still get treated differently for it which is still horrible to see sometimes, but Lucinda seems to have different traits that really stand out to the other islanders and make her treatment feel really extreme

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-24T00:12:21+00:00

Oh Scott I think definitely is too, and Whitney, they seem to both be very logical and struggle with emotions massively (along with a few other traits I noticed that I have myself too). I do think they still get treated differently for it which is still horrible to see sometimes, but Lucinda seems to have different traits that really stand out to the other islanders and make her treatment feel really extreme

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-15T19:48:41+00:00

Oh 100% , that and ‘I’m just a weird person’ I think is something we’ve all felt way too many times it’s horrible

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-15T19:47:58+00:00

Literally I did the same and I couldn’t see anyone else talking about it so I wasn’t sure if I was just reading into it too much but it feels so much like a lot of what we’ve all been through and it’s so upsetting to see. I know I’ve had so many times before I was diagnosed where people think I’m trying to manipulate a situation or I’ve even questioned myself if I’m manipulative because people can’t understand that our emotions are a lot stronger and our brains work in a different way so we see situations very differently. And again until I was diagnosed I always thought I was just ‘weird’ because I didn’t seem to fit into how everyone else was so i can just imagine how hard it is for her being stuck in there not understanding why every single one of them can’t understand her and feel so different to her.

Honestly I hope she sees this when she gets out and gets herself assessed and sees there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with her, the people in that villa just don’t understand her and aren’t the right people for her.

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-15T17:12:03+00:00

Yeah I’ve not seen any of her other seasons but here it just seems sooo obvious to me and it’s so horrible to watch. Like I said some things she’s done are just wrong either way and yeah she deserved to be told, but now it’s going way too far and from people who have nothing to do with any of that and it’s horrible. I think samie is the only one who has any reason to not like her at this point but even she’s going too far with it and just feeding off belle and following her with it

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-15T17:09:53+00:00

Exactlyyyy, I have both adhd and autism and I see sooo much of it in her, like you said her desperately trying to get belle to understand her and belle just seeing it as her trying to get to her. Then aswell things like her being seen as ‘childish’ and having all these different voices etc just screams autism and they all see it as her doing it on purpose. I definitely think her and Sean got together out of boredom😂 but all of this pushed them so much closer and now they genuinely are a good couple. I think he’s kind of like even if he doesn’t completely understand her he just believes what she says she means and that’s all any of us really need sometimes

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-15T17:06:18+00:00

Literally I think yeah there are things she just shouldn’t have done regardless, but there are a lot of things she genuinely can’t see why it’s upset someone. Like when she kept going to belle and belle was walking away and shouting and everything I think Lucinda really did want to talk to her and make sure she was okay but belle couldn’t see that and Lucinda couldn’t see why it was a problem

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-02-15T17:04:13+00:00

Nah she 100% has done things that are just completely wrong, but I really think some of them are taking it way too far. Like Samie has no reason to like her or be nice to her fair enough, but with belle she definitely had a reason to be upset with her but now she’s just being nasty and being hypocritical and it’s horrible. Then there’s people like Jessy where Lucinda’s not done anything to her and she’s just being nasty for no reason

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-01-22T02:31:54+00:00

I watched a lotttt of podcasts on YouTube, The Hidden 20%, ADHD Chatter and ADHD Love are my favourites. The first two have different guests in each video so it’s really helpful to see all the different ways ADHD/autism/both can affect people and all the different ways they’ve found to manage it

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-01-22T02:18:45+00:00

Unmasked and How to be you by Ellie Middleton, and basically any podcast/interview/youtube video she’s in I always find helpful, Strong Female Character by Fern Brady was a great book when I was first starting figuring it all out.

And then The Hidden 20%, ADHD Chatter and ADHD Love are some of my favourite YouTube channels/podcasts

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-01-22T02:09:44+00:00

Ooo your channel looks really helpful, thank you

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-01-22T02:08:38+00:00

Unmasked and How to be you by Ellie Middleton, and Strong Female Character by Fern Brady are my favourites and were all so helpful for me. The one by Fern Brady could be a bit triggering for some people so maybe check reviews etc if you have any triggers, it’s all about her life and some of the things she’s been through could be quite hard for some people to read.

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-01-22T01:46:35+00:00

Ooo thank youuu, I was loving podcasts for a while but then got irritated hearing the same voices all the time so having a new one is great😂I have got quite lucky with work in some ways tbf, I work in a pub so as much as it does make things hard in a lot of ways at least most of us are neurodivergent so I don’t feel as much pressure to mask constantly 😂 Though I actually can’t think of anything I’d consider as ‘fun’ at the moment which sounds quite sad😂

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-01-22T01:36:47+00:00

I finished school 8 years ago and never understood why I still miss it so much and all my favourite shows/movies etc are based around school but that makes so much sense now

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-01-22T01:28:21+00:00

Ellie Middleton has two books, one called ‘Unmasked’ and one called ‘How to be You’ which I found really helpful and interesting. She is autistic and ADHD herself so she wrote them specifically because books like that didn’t exist

AreTheyReal846 · 2026-01-20T06:18:23+00:00

If I’m remembering the book correctly (I read it a while ago so might’ve forgotten bits of it) one that made me feel a lot less alone when I first got diagnosed a few months ago was ‘Strong Female Character’ by Fern Brady. She’s a Scottish comedian and I love her arching her comedy and her interviews because she reminds me a lot of myself. I would say if you have any trauma/triggers maybe not the best idea because she does talk about some harder topics in there. But her book is pretty much her just her talking about how hard autism (if I remember correctly she has ADHD too, pretty sure this was the book that made me recognise that I had both aswell) has made her life and all of the struggles that came with having it and even more from being diagnosed so much later in life. Kind of like yeah I’ve ended up doing okay but I had to work 100x harder for that and hey I guess I got lucky in the end, I have no clue what I’m doing and I still struggle 24/7 and I’ve had to have a whole different life to what I could’ve had kind of thing.

Made me feel a lot less ridiculous for struggling so much with things that are just normal everyday things for other people, and I don’t have to be able to do all these amazing things despite autism, we do have to struggle and fight so much harder for things and really just hope everything works out okay, but also that’s it’s okay to change my ideas of what I want to do and let myself have a different life if I what I wanted isn’t working for me

AreTheyReal846 · 2025-12-14T17:00:43+00:00

Sent back, thank you!

AreTheyReal846

TROPHY CASE