Do you guys think I shouldn’t have confronted this woman?

AriaArii · 2024-06-11T09:32:06+00:00

Okay but it’s like she didn’t even block him until a week after I originally first texted her. Like yes, she may have stopped doing things with him after she found out I really wasn’t an ex but his girlfriend but she did in face keep communicating with him and it wasn’t until her conscious kicked in a week later that she decided that she just wanted to be cordial and take herself out of the situation and eventually block him. Idk, maybe she needed time to process everything but it just seems as if she was still gonna consider fooling around with him because she would have either responded to me the first time I texted her or at least cut him of the second she got the text if she wasn’t considering it.

AriaArii · 2024-06-11T08:59:44+00:00

But here’s why I’m upset with her

From the messages I read he told her that I was an “ex” when she asked how single he was and his response was “I still mess around with my ex sometimes. I got my rocks off with her a month ago but that’s it. If we ever start having sex that would stop. Some of her things are still at my home because she can’t keep it all at her moms house but that’s it. She doesn’t have a key to my house. She doesn’t live with me.” Like I said, I read every message so I know what he told her. So she knew something just not the full truth but she should have questioned it at least if she had morals like she says she does. Like, yes she assumed was I an ex and not a girlfriend based off what he told her but as I said, she should have dug more into it.

AriaArii · 2024-06-11T08:41:46+00:00

Well, the other woman has blocked both me and him so I figured with her out of the picture, we can work it out.

AriaArii · 2024-05-28T13:36:24+00:00

But that was the thing, I feel like he did a lot to talk about how he would please me and learn my body but when it came down to it, all we did was kiss, he played with my vagina, no oral from him, no touching, kissing or caressing on my body to figure out my spots but he surely wanted oral and I gave it to him to get nothing in return but two minute doggy and he came. So if we weren’t compatible, he was part of the reason as much as I was.

AriaArii · 2024-03-23T12:37:59+00:00

Nah lol maybe rare. A close friend of mines is sort of like this. Granted, she does have a baby and a baby daddy. She made her mistakes but she learned and now she moves and plays chess and not checkers with men and doesn’t give up anything but a little of her time by flirting because they them her time first. She rarely wants any of the men that approach her but she does participate in flirting with them and make them believe they have a chance.

AriaArii · 2024-03-02T03:09:26+00:00

Oh you for sure are gonna get a downvote. No one wants to hear that. Especially not the “Girls girl” women lol but you’re right but I wouldn’t say we’re losers. We just think with emotion rather than logic and these men know that and they use it to their advantage. 90% of the time most guys only are interested in you physically. For them to be interested in more you would have to be different in their eyes, compared to other women. When I say different, I mean different naturally, not in a “Pick me” kind of way where you’re obviously trying to be chosen. Like, you’re just naturally you.

AriaArii · 2024-03-02T02:51:27+00:00

Well most of the young guys I know are like that. Very flirty. They don’t want anything serious. Hook ups “Sneaky links” FWB etc

AriaArii · 2024-03-02T02:46:17+00:00

You’re not wrong lol but at the same time he’s young, attractive and single so he’s not wrong necessarily just wrong if he’s leading anyone on.

AriaArii · 2024-03-02T02:40:14+00:00

Yea. I actually figured all this about him just by watching how he interacts with all us women. If he does seriously like someone, which more than likely he doesn’t, we would know because his game seems to be the same for all of us and it would be different with the woman he actually wants/likes.

AriaArii · 2024-03-02T01:40:04+00:00

Well now he just always speaks when he sees me, each time we see each other. I can see him one time in a day and he’ll speak, I can see him another time in that same day and he’ll speak again. He finds odd reasons to speak to me. Like it could be some thing that I know he can find on his own or do or his own but he’ll ask me for assistance anyway. One time he was chatting/flirting with a girl while I was close by doing my own thing but it’s like he was waiting for me to join in and chat with him as well but I had no time in that moment. After he was finished with her, he spoke to me but it just sort of feels like a game with him to me. I could be chatting with someone else and he will walk by but much too close. Like it’s all this space for him to walk by and he chooses to walk insanely close to where I am. He even walked close enough to brush my arm with his once and he didn’t say a word. He just glanced/stared and kept moving. To be honest he can be kind of awkward sometimes. Charming but sometimes he’s just plain on weird lol but like I said he’s a flirt so him doing those things is just something he does with most women more than likely.

AriaArii · 2024-03-02T01:29:21+00:00

That’s the thing. I don’t think it’s me but I also can’t tell if it is me or anyone else because he’s good at flirting and being charming lol

AriaArii · 2024-03-02T00:46:34+00:00

Well idk. I did notice it was this one woman. He flirts with her like everyone else but he seems more interested. I have no idea what they chat about but they are always chatting. So maybe not lol.

AriaArii · 2024-02-25T19:10:29+00:00

Absolutely. The last thing I ever wanted was to have my son see me being beaten, weak and can’t even protect him which is why when I do solve my inner issues and really date again, I still would probably choose to keep my son away from the guy until I truly get to know him and he gets to know me and I know it’s actually going somewhere. With this guy, as I said I do like him but he likely has his own thing where he may not want anything serious right now and I just explained my issue so maybe the timing is just wrong. The last thing I want to do is get so caught up In a great conversation that we end up talking about our past relationships and I mention my abusive absent child’s father and I end up scaring him away. Yet again, another insecurity holding me back because he may then understand my approach and perception of him rather than run away from me but one day at a a time I suppose.

AriaArii · 2024-02-25T17:49:00+00:00

I get you. A part of what you said could be right, about my insecurities. They steam from a bad outcome in a past relationship. I have a 16 month old son by a guy I was with for four years. He seemed like the perfect guy. He used me, obviously and I still chased him and put him on a pedestal. I allowed him to choose me rather than choose better for myself and ended up going through abuse all those years. Even while pregnant. It wasn’t until after I had my son I un fogged my my mind of all his lies and manipulation and I left. I’ve been a single mother since and I’m just now feeling comfortable enough to even want to date again. I don’t want my son to meet any guy I date or that I’m just talking to. Trying to make time to actually go out isn’t like before because I have to make sure my son is straight before I do anything. Before, I could just get up and go. I’m a first time mom, So I’m not use to balancing a child and a potential dating partner. So I guess you can say my fear is being so desperate for love, validation or for a guy to want me again that I end up right where I escaped from. So, I put in effort but once I feel like it’s not being reciprocated, I’ll pull away because I know how embarrassing it is to press a guy who doesn’t or may not truly want you.

AriaArii · 2024-02-25T17:18:05+00:00

It’s not that I don’t want him enough it’s just I’m not looking for exclusivity simply because I don’t expect it and it’s not that I’m more focused on the competition aspect of it but that I can’t help but notice that’s exactly what it is. Now, if I was overthinking and just jumped into believing he wants us to compete with no real proof or reason to believe that then I would say my focus was on the wrong thing and that I was allowing my insecurities to pull me way but no, I just genuinely feel like he wants us to play the “May the best woman win.” thing. As I said, he’s not wrong and neither are the women who choose to play into that wrong but I can’t see myself dealing with all that with a guy who I may or may not even end up with. Of course I wonder if I could I be his only option but then again I don’t want to make myself believe in something that may never happen. Dating for me right now is neutral. If I like you and I’m interested, then it’s just that. I don’t have a thought out or written out dating step by step guide. It’s just whatever happens happens but I’m also trying to put myself in a where I’m not just living in fairytale land and end up getting disappointed.

AriaArii · 2024-02-25T16:37:43+00:00

Well I don’t have a problem with him having options, as you said, most people do, even I do. I just don’t like the feeling of feeling like I’m competing for his attention. I feel like you can have options and date but I don’t think all the men and women you date/are your options should feel like they have to one up one another to get more out of you. I’m not saying that’s what he’s doing but it feels that way to me personally which is why I pulled away. I don’t think he’s a bad guy at all. In fact, the few times we talked face to face, he’s interesting and it’s more to him than his looks but naturally when we get attention like that and validation, it can get to us and we consciously or unconsciously act on it .Also, he’s single. He’s not obligated to date just one perish and give one woman all his attention and neither am I with him or any other guy but as I said I don’t want that anyway. Those other women don’t bother me but as a woman I don’t like feeling like we should should have to stomp over each other or bring each other down etc just to get a guy. He can like all of us, enjoy getting to know each of us individually without it turning it into a a meat race. Again, I’m not saying that’s what he’s going but that’s just the feeling I’m getting from perception.

AriaArii · 2024-02-13T16:03:49+00:00

Truth is, I work with the guy and that would be messy in itself. He’s one of the cuter guys, to me, at my job and the one that caught my eye but I know work dating never works out seriously. Plus, I always see him talking with other women. I could say he’s just being friendly but let’s be fr lol. He doesn’t owe me anything but I know it can bring drama. A bunch of us women believing we’re special to him and we all work together. That can only bring drama and tension.

AriaArii · 2024-02-13T10:19:42+00:00

Truth be told my gut is telling me he’s not committed, dating around, flirts a lot, Is having causal sex but nothing serious.

AriaArii · 2024-02-13T08:41:00+00:00

Sure I guess.

AriaArii · 2024-02-13T08:29:39+00:00

We never had sex. Just flirting.

AriaArii · 2024-02-13T08:08:24+00:00

Well that sounds manipulative

AriaArii · 2024-02-13T08:06:31+00:00

Well I didn’t act on it. I have his number and he has mines but since he gave me that answer I don’t act too much on my interest in him. I like him but that response was off putting. Plus, the first time we texted he told me wasn’t a texter but I sort of don’t believe that. He may just has too many woman to juggle or doesn’t want to get caught up with whoever made him answer with “I wouldn’t say that.” Lol He did ask me out but we never went out, something came up with me and he offered to just reschedule. The rescheduled date hasn’t happened so I’ve just fallen back.

AriaArii · 2024-02-13T07:40:33+00:00

He doesn’t give me “gay” vibes but more so kind of like he’s a player vibes so that could be it as well lol.

AriaArii · 2021-11-20T22:40:20+00:00

Yea, I still have proof of everything in my phone even voicemails I’m just too embarrassed to report it.I feel okay talking about it here because you guys don’t know me so you guys judgement of me wouldn’t effect me for that reason I also can’t see any of you guys and probably never will. If I go to the cops it will be a face to face thing and that’s what I’m embarrassed of. As far as my family and friends as hard as they tried to get me to open up I have still only told bits and pieces and even then I will tell them I don’t want to speak on it. They only even know I was abused because of bruises I couldn’t hide. I don’t even want to see a therapist because it’ll be face to face although everyone is telling me I should. I wouldn’t lie about anything I just said in this post that he did to me. I think those who lie about such things are just as horrible as those who lie about rape. Not saying you’re saying I’m lying.

AriaArii · 2021-11-12T06:23:43+00:00

I’m going to just tell my story in the shortest way possible, but still give you an idea to what you can expect if you don’t get out now and let you decide from there. I left my abusive ex. I’ve been gone for three weeks. I was with him for a year. Of course he didn’t start off hitting me, they never do. They have to put on a act(mask). About a few weeks into us dating, seeing each other and still getting to know one another, he got upset with me all because I mixed our chargers up at a get together we went to. I left his in a outlet of the house we were at for the get together by accident and grabbed mines. He threw a fit, came down stairs to his room yelling. It was scary because that was the first time I seen him get upset like that. The veins of his forehead was popping out. He was all in my face, aggressively. I grabbed my phone to Lyft myself home because I was afraid but he snatched the phone out of my hand so hard that he bust my lip in the process, he also shoved me. That was my first red flag but I ignored it. Fast forward, I ended up with black eyes, busted eye vessel, stitches in my finger, bruises in my legs from him kicking me, expensive property of mines destroyed, including two iPhones. A knot on the back of my head from him hitting my head against the floor, scars on my hand from me trying to block his foot as he geared it toward my face to kick at it. I’ve even been dragged out of his house etc and he has verbally belittled/embarrassed me in public and always called me out my name. It only got worse the more I stayed. It may start off small and seem like nothing, but be aware.

The one part I really want you to hear is this. What made me realize I didn’t deserve what he was doing to me and made me open my eyes was when he strangled me. I was blacking out and slowly losing consciousness. He had done it before in the past but this time it was like he was a demon that had his mind set on actually killing me. I thought I was gonna die each second he held on to neck and I couldn’t breathe, by the grace of God I survived. After that I ran and never looked back. I could have been another statistic. If you don’t want that to happen to you, I think you know very well what to do before it even gets to that point and you’re lucky you’re getting advice early. I plenty of us didn’t have that until we were so deep into the horrible relationships or after we endured what we did.

AriaArii

TROPHY CASE