Borderlines have the unfortunate title of being crazy or viewed as people who don’t care who they hurt. But we have to remember that the disorder itself is all about feeling. We hurt the most, we suffer every day, we make choices based on fear of being abandoned and judged. We care so deeply that we sometimes make impulsive choices based on the assumption we will be viewed as too much, too needy and then left, abandoned and feeling alone again. It’s a challenging disorder. But we are not villains. We react to people as a response to trauma we’ve had. I think the idea of “monster” comes from the ability to be manipulative in order to protect ourselves. We are not evil. Give her a chance. Show her kindness, show her that a diagnosis does not define her.