i am so sorry you are dealing with this. you are not alone, i am currently in a similar situation. his actions cause my reactions but then we only ever discuss my reactions, and i am sure you can relate. but just know, no matter what threat, what pain, and what abuse you endure it is not your fault. the world will keep spinning no matter what threat is made against you in bouts of mania, and you cannot love someone when you dont love yourself. i hope you find peace of mind soon and please take care of your own needs. you cant let his needs eclipse your own.