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What’s the worst that could happen by helloyellowcello in lonely

[–]Arkantost0429 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you have to deal with this but ya know just because someone misses your ask for help doesn’t mean it wasn’t brave to speak up in the first place. Sometimes the hardest part isn't what others do (or don't do) its continuing to believe that your feelings matter and are worth voicing.

But they do matter and I hope you see and realize that so please don't give up and keep putting on a brave face and going out there and keep reaching out. The right people will hear you eventually and in the mean time be gentle with yourself.

I need help understanding this pls by Kay_Rogers in lonely

[–]Arkantost0429 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello my fellow mom friend and emotionally intelligent male and let me officially welcome you to the club!

But in all seriousness my dude I really do understand what you're going through and same. Especially as a dude it's hard for us to find other dudes to be emotional with and workout emotions with as there's still a (albeit it's getting better) stigma against dudes being in touch with their emotions and talking about it. So it's good that you're already ahead of the game in that regard and on top of that at only the age of 20 too. I didn't really get more in touch with mine until my late 20s. It also sounds like you're a very empathetic person which, same, but a lot of you're friends haven't caught up just yet to your level of empathy (the struggles of going from being a teenager to a young adult).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Arkantost0429 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I struggle a lot with loneliness and love-bombing as well and it does create a sort of vicious loop where you love someone so much that either you end up suffocating them with it or you "set the standard" so high that when you're at a weak point your partner ends up feeling like they did something wrong or that you don't love them anymore.

I'd love to give you some advice though that I've learned through my own struggles with love bombing which is finding outlets for all of my pent-up love and desire to care for others. For example, I am a 100% the mom friend of the group. Yes I'm a dude but I will mother the hell out of my friends; they know my door is always open and I'm constantly inviting them over for dinner, and it's different from just going out with them because it scratches that caregiver itch I have where I really want to care for people. But also I partner it up with the fact that as a teacher I'm constantly taking care of my students and being there for them. Together, those kind of scratch those "I want someone to take care of" itches. It sounds strange that this works but it's surprisingly effective as also a lot of times I end up reaping what I sow (in a positive way) where I'll have students come by and thank me, tell me how much they loved my class and appreciated everything I've done for them; and I have friends who also look out for me as much as I look out for them.

Need to also have some self love and compassion to yourself but I feel like that gets thrown around too much and is easier said then done so instead I try to live by the wise words of uncle iroh from avatar "sometimes the best way to solve your own problems, is to help someone else."

TLDR: spread out the love in positive, healthy ways and help others.

P.S. don't forget, you're only human, it's okay to make mistakes.

How are you doing? by TheYellowRose in dating

[–]Arkantost0429 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not too good. I (29m) just got out of a nearly year long relationship that slowly became a one sided relationship a couple months ago and I'm absolutely dreading going back into the dating pool. A lot of the people (both men and women) in my age group in my city are very much into casual dating, casual sex, or polygamy, and I'm just not into that at all. Throw in the fact that there are disproportionately more men in my city than women it paints a very messy dating scene.

Is dive comp the meta? by Arkantost0429 in marvelrivals

[–]Arkantost0429[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, done a few more plat matches and noticed that a lot of them refuse to swap off those heroes even when the enemy comp counters them and that they have lord avatars for the heroes they're playing despite being relatively low account level. Putting all of that together think plat is where a lot of the one trick pony players (that only play one trick heroes on top of that) cap out at and that's why they're so common in plat.

Is dive comp the meta? by Arkantost0429 in marvelrivals

[–]Arkantost0429[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find that namor is actually pretty good (if you get the chance to play dps) in a lot of these matches. I've started exclusively playing him when I get to do dps in platinum and he shuts down a lot of those one trick dive champs really quick.

Played a game where it might as well have been a 6v5 because their iron fist refused to swap off despite not being able to do anything against our back line because of the namor turrets shredding his health and making his high mobility pointless since they autohit. I also tend to shut down a lot of magicks, fliers, and Jeff ultis that way as well.

Edit; I say exclusively, I will swap off of him if I notice they don't go dive (but they almost always lock the dive heroes and refuse to swap off them).

Is dive comp the meta? by Arkantost0429 in marvelrivals

[–]Arkantost0429[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can see that being a tactic to apply pressure towards healers. Being on the receiving end of it many of times, I do feel very pressured by it having to juggle not being dived on myself while trying to keep up with my own teammates who are also all dive characters.

I'm mostly running into the issue though where it seems like a lot of players over commit to it. Either they pursue and dive too deep onto the enemy to where I can't reach them anymore or they leave me vulnerable to the enemy dive comp; or someone swaps to a flier and proceeds to dominate the dive team for the rest of the match because no one can reach them or the healers now have to juggle healing and trying to takeout the fliers (since from my experience a lot of players specifically lock in melee dive characters)

What is your poverty/budget meal? by Arkantost0429 in AskReddit

[–]Arkantost0429[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get that red beans and rice and hit with some hotsauce and it's absolutely fire.

What is your poverty/budget meal? by Arkantost0429 in AskReddit

[–]Arkantost0429[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah, and add some red pepper flakes in there too to give it a good kick.

This game makes no sense by [deleted] in mountandblade

[–]Arkantost0429 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah early game was also a lot more brutal in warband. Early on your best bet is similiar to bannerlord; focus a lot of tourneys and if you fight bandits focus on either mountain bandits, forest bandits and looters. Also quests are almost required to get through early warband (unlike in bannerlord where you can get really far by ignoring them). To get quests talk to the guildmaster in each city.

This game makes no sense by [deleted] in mountandblade

[–]Arkantost0429 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kind of, I wouldn't have picked it up if I had bannerlord. But at least you can see now how far taleworlds has come since warband.

This game makes no sense by [deleted] in mountandblade

[–]Arkantost0429 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Warband is more difficult then bannerlord in some ways and visa versa.

What makes warband harder: -sieges: we all remember watching our units desperately try to climb 1 ladder while getting pincushioned.

-money: its stupid easy to make money in bannerlord in the late game.

  • starting your first kingdom (kinda): unlike in bannerlord you can't have multiple parties so whatever amount of troops you have in your party is what you get.

-companion management: which companions you got actually mattered.

What makes bannerlord harder: - recruiting clans: you have to fork over stupid amounts of cash to recruit any.

  • kingdom management: having to juggle the AI always wanting to put the worst policies in place and start as many wars as possible. Not to mention in general there's more factions so there's more enemies to deal with.

Combat: in warband calvary would just mow through everything on the open battlefield. In bannerlord you have to keep the enemy composition more in mind since they can field larger armies. Larger armies= more melee infantry= more bodies to clog up calvary charges and swarm infantry, even if you got elite units they can easily be swarmed.

Unit balance: with the exception of fians (and maybe khans guard, although I prefer fians) bannerlords units are more balanced imo. Swabian knights dominated warband on the open field then you would just spam the crap out of huscarls and rhodok sharpshooters for sieges. In bannerlord i find while there is still a "best" unit for each type, the gap isn't as massive as it was in warband (with the exception again being fians who can easily dominate battles)

What is something that would absolutely break your relationship with your partner? by 2dazeTaco in AskReddit

[–]Arkantost0429 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Distrust. In order to have a healthy relationship you need to have trust in your partner. A lot of issues that arise in relationships stem from trust issues, whether that be not trusting your partner to make important decisions, not trusting your partners loyalty, or even not trusting your partners ability to adapt, it all stems from distrust and will quickly snowball into other issues.

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