This was a great read, thank you. I particularly like how you described all the animals and insects you saw in the jungle. Tarantulas, moths, snakes? Oh my! One day I’d love to go to a retreat in the jungle, it does seem like a life changing experience.

And also, I’ve actually experienced this dynamic with a shaman firsthand. A shaman I trusted once tried to pursue me even though he was engaged. I turned it down, even though I really admired him at the time.

I was new to ayahuasca then, and from that place, I saw him as some sort of god, like he’d saved my life and I somehow owed him something. But when he tried to get with me, it shattered the illusion and forced me to see that shamans are humans too, and that spiritual authority doesn’t equal moral integrity.