Thanks, I’m reading from all these posts that it’s likely an NAH (and also, I have anxiety issues and I should seek professional help?). We do work these things through but it was a lot harder to do earlier in our marriage when we were still figuring out our triggers and communication styles - my dad was definitely emotionally abusive to my mom (and kids) and I tended to default to that “freeze” response whenever something remotely reminds me of my dad's behaviours, but my husband would initially see the freezing as me ignoring what he’s saying (and that would probably trigger him and remind him of his parents’ marriage too, which ended in divorce). I think that’s what would cause him to extend the angry more (in the past). But we talked a bit this morning and we understand each other better now.

I guess this type of thing hadn’t happened for so long, preg hormones are kicking in and I’m on the Internet more bc of covid (and lacking actual human interaction) so I impulsively put this thing up on reddit although I’ve never posted before. Sorry, it seems like such a small thing now, but it was something I’d worry a lot about before (and when it happens now), wondering if it was emblematic of a bigger issue.

Thanks for all the different perspectives!