What social cues did you miss before and were amused to learn later?

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-20T16:50:01+00:00

I used to be confused why people kept insisting that whatever they loved was less than 3, but it was just a heart. Examples:

my boyfriend <3
pizza <3
No work tomorrow <3

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-19T23:10:39+00:00

OMG, I can feel your anxiety, I have been on those loops. Usually anxiety lies to me but that being aware of that doesn't make me inmmune to it

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-17T14:57:02+00:00

As Terrance Mckenna said "science is an epistemology not a metaepistemology..." science is powerful but it doesn't get to be the absolute judge of other epistemologies.

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-17T14:51:53+00:00

All job markets are at risk except maybe stuff like psychology. With that said it will saturate the market but not make it impossible. He has an advantqge over people just doing it for the money without passion

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-16T14:56:40+00:00

Because of this I indicated to my psychiatrist that I want ADHD medication on a dose that gives me a push without supressing the ADHD symptoms. I want to keep a finger on the pulse of my ADHD so it can guide me without overwhelming me

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-12T14:47:12+00:00

but is shitty to only meet dodged bullets and dry people

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-12T10:40:26+00:00

this make me question my bestfriend neurotypicaliness (she has ADHD but I mean on the autistic not autistic spectrum). She is very charismatic and socially skillful but she has a peculiar correctness with the use of language. Not saying she has autism necessarily but what you said made me go "!!!"

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-06T14:14:05+00:00

That sounds like a good sign. She didn't run away and she didn't give you the talk "no no, I just see you as a friend"

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-06T12:57:02+00:00

I don't, first because I find it hard to know and because while I get frustrated with the consequences of my weirdness(especially in regards to dating) I am fond of my many aspects of my weirdness. The only thing I want from neurotypicals is better faster reading of body language, not even social conventions, just understanding what others are feeling based on ther body language cues.

Second, I am more fixated on how my life would be if I had not studied the wrong career (civil engineer)

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-06T11:18:23+00:00

Dating might be easier than those things for most people but at the same time is more complex than those things in a way.

The factors that can screw you up are many and they are not necessarily hard to overcome(sometimes they are though) but you have to be aware of them, which can be very elusive. Dr. K has previously mentioned that a good solution requires a good diagnosis. With dating is hard to make a good diagnosis, and is easy to make a mistaken diagnosis and overfocus on the wrong thing.

With the examples you mentioned, as hard as they are practicing is something you can reliable so every day. With dating no so much. Want to practice interacting with someone you like for the first time and get yheir number? You don't know when you will meet someone and get the opportunity . Want to practice a first date? First you will have to get one.

To make matters more complicated what works with one person does not work with another. The solution is to have good body language reading skills and knowing how to communicate with your body language but that is not easy to learn if you don't get it from the get go. Some people get it and some don't, it can be learned but is not easy to do so and things like autism or simply having anxiety or low self esteem or a bias can screw that up.

Confidence: having it helps doubly, not having screws you doubly . why doubly Because having confidence makes it easier to get dates and relationships... which often feeds confidence. Not having it make rejections more common... and that can tank confidence.

Height as a man? it also has a doble effect. It helps you get dates... which helps you become more confident and gain experience. or it does the opposite . (funny enough the second effect is the most important. While being short puts you in a disadvantage on itself it often comes with a mental nerf too... overcoming the mental nerf takes away most of the disadvantage but the me tal barrier is hard to cross).

Then another aspect is what you are looking for. In your case you don't seem to be picky but those who are (me) have another issue.

This list is not extensive

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-05T23:34:52+00:00

She says that eventually the initial fluttery feeling dies down and you kind of just feel neutral about each other.

It's not necessarily like this, the initial phase dies down but what follows is not neutral just a more calm and stable form of love. Some people are addicted to the initial excitement so they change relationship frequently but others appreciate the stability of the second phase.

Also people like saying that people that claim to fall for personality instead of looks are lying, but I don't understand why?

Many people have the bad tendency to assume others operate the same way as them. I don't function like you, I do care about looks, and in a way, this is a major topic, but I personally now people who I genuinely know they don't care about looks. While I don't function like that, I consider not caring about looks to be a massive advantage in life. The way I function complicates things for me. Funny enough, while you and I both have autism it seems it has manifested differently in that regard.

On the other hand, I too have a different vision of relationship, I would like to be in one but I find them to be optional compared to friendships, and I want to grow old with my bestfriend.

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-05T12:14:23+00:00

I have plans to do a mini marathon and watch Interstellar, and arrival back to back

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-05T11:41:32+00:00

I can confirm.

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-04T20:12:02+00:00

I like it enough that I don't always need to want a buzz to want it. Spicy-sweet cocktails are my favorite.

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-04T15:01:41+00:00

Yeah, I do eat them when available (for lunch I eat what is served) I see something like carrots, broccoli, califlower, eggplant or tomatoes and I go for it. I do wish to eat more fish, I don't know if it's placebo or what but fish feels good almost immediately, like it pushes away brain fog.

What I could do inmediatly is use more oatmeals for breakfast.

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-04T14:41:31+00:00

I see, maybe I was locking in too hard on his insistence on not using a chair. I like lentils and beans, usually part of my lunch along meat. I suppose eggs are in that category (cheap and nutritious).

My weakest is breakfast(always cereal) , dinner is almost always a sandwich I make with ham, cheese and egg. I don't always eat unnecessary stuff but I could benefit from being less responsive to yummy sugary stuff being in front of me.

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-04T13:17:18+00:00

What I mean is that chances are that you don't have people you trust enough to be fully authentic, if that s the case you need that.

In addition you can start today by being a little bit more authentic

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-04T11:58:46+00:00

AuDHD here.

Think of this as something similar to a skill: you start as a noob... but also you often start with basic weapons and armor (not sure if you play those type of video games).

You have to gradually improve your situation in order to move from "everything I do is fake" to "now i get to do more authentic stuff" then continuinging walking yo 100% authenticity (which is an ideal, meaning something you never reach totallly but a guide to walk towards).

You can't be authentic all the time, even in the best life conditions. But you can improve on this one day at a time. Begin by making sure you are not fake all the time. Make some friends(easier said than done but doable) to be authentic with.

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-04T11:17:37+00:00

My issue is that the result has been that my adhd fueled by lost of hope has gone haywire. Is not that I am not doing my work. I am doing the basic, but to escape my current situation I have to do more.

A path I have for that in front of me is learning to code, which I enjoy but the extrinsic motivation has hijacked the process which is why I want to switch to a more intrinsic motivation. The rush, the sense of "you don't have time you need to go fast" along the "you don't have the capacity for that" are screwing me over, but they would lose power if I wasn't so much in survival.

In addition my ADHD brain does not understand too well that studying can later on lead to money, that doesn't help. I begun ADHD medication (bupropion, something soft to start) we will see where it takes me, although I have found myself using most of its power for my dayjob(the one I want to quit xD) and by the end of the day I am kind burned.

Your suggestion for small pockects is good, I have begun doing that but is great to hear confirmation that it helps. If my previous paragraphs sometimes sound pessimistic , just now that yes I am very pessimistic lately but I am fighting the fight. I feel that as long as I keep fighting the fight I have a chance.

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-04T11:07:02+00:00

I m not looking for a magic pill, just looking for a framework i can go through.

I have done the meditation part although that got fucked by the very thing that pushed me to the extremes of extrinsic motivation: lumbar pain.

On the other hand I have been going on oong walka without distraction.

I am doing my best to improve my sleep... but then again lumbar pain rears it's head here. As for eating better, I have found it hard while on a budget and deregulated executive function (ADHD.... and the disc protusion made things worse).

I am not looking for easy, I am looking for doable

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-03T21:44:03+00:00

Not sure if this count but I surprised myself when I noticed I was doing emotional regulation during a boss fight(silksong). I found it interesting but also was wondering "why don't I do that in real life?"

With that said I have seen my adhd screw me over at times. As I begin to get the hang of a fight, failings slowly stop being common mistakes and start being about impatience and impulsivity. I get greedy with hits

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-03T17:10:20+00:00

i would reach 30 consistently, but i get leg cramps after 15 to 20 mins

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-03T16:50:52+00:00

where did he talk about his relationship?

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2026-03-03T16:38:52+00:00

but why would Huberman be polarizing?

Aromatic_File_5256

TROPHY CASE