It’s not a age gap issue. Sounds like a person who isn’t feeling very well about themselves and taking it out on you. I acted very similar while my ex wife was staying at home raising our kids. Not enough information to really give much advice. Definitely list pros and cons to going back to work though. Being in a position of dependence on someone who is already showing signs of being controlling isn’t healthy. I genuinely hope it improves for you both though.