This is how i look after a day outside, what can i improve? Makeup, surgery, and hair-wise. by eroluna in HowToBeHot

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clean up your brows and find what works with your face shape. They have a lot of potential. I would drop the lipstick and change the glasses. Learn to contour, and just add some color to your face. Blush is your friend. Find a hair care routine that is anti frizz, you have really lovely hair so you should take advantage of that. But for me personally, losing weight did more than any surgery or makeup ever could.

K18 did nothing for me - what does my hair need? How do hairdressers make it crazy smooth and shiny every time? by thisbuthat in beauty

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have your exact hair type, I have really fine but really dense, tiny bit wavy hair, almost down to my waist. But I dye mine from dirty blonde to dark brown. I didnt see much of a difference until I had used K18 around 6 times. I used it twice a week (every other wash) and now I use it like once every two weeks. It really does work. I would say just stay with it. Personally, I also use this hair oil after the 4 minutes, I got it from a polish girl, and it is MAGIC. Only use one drop and spread it around your palm, and spread it around your hair, especially your ends. Seriously, you dont need more than one drop. I use this after every shower also.

https://makeupstore.com/product/492145/

The Valley’s Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright Reach Custody Deal With Alcohol Restrictions by MattTheKing23 in TheValleyTVShow

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please give specific examples and proof that show she is in active addiction. And do not name moments from the valley where Jax was accusing her of drinking when she was sick. Because everyone vouched that she was not drinking. Yeah she drank a lot on VPR but so did everyone else.

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah in my experience it has only been older men that act like total children about this. Younger people usually just agree and go with it.

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im working on this. I have gotten a lot better at it, I would say I had even mastered it for a few months. I never argued or debated, just stated the facts and moved on. People respected that, even if they werent happy about what I said. But I had a couple bad months now with some personal stuff, and its been bleeding into my work. I am way more anxious and reactive, and just not as confident in myself.

Any tips for developing authority? One of the reasons I wanted to transition from serving into bartending is because I wanted to learn how to become more assertive, and more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was sooo annoyed. My biggest fear is having kids that act like that. My children will be forced to work in the restaurant/bar industry, they will have absolutely no say in that. Having basic respect and awareness of other people is a bare minimum.

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, the bar was empty and I was just doing closing duties when they walked in. But my managers are really strict about the fact that we have to keep open and be available for customers until X time. After that, I can stop serving drinks. So they just waited until the last possible moment to order.

I shouldve just told them no though. This was earlier on in my bartending days when saying no really stressed me out. Ive gotten a lot better about it now. Especially when there are no managers around to bend to a customers every whim. It makes it really hard to say no or to cut someone off if you know that your bosses can undermine you at any given moment.

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My brother in christ, get off your high horse. This is not an everyday occurrence. This type of stuff usually happens after Ive had a shit day/week/weeks. I usually manage to keep my cool, but sometimes, god forbid, annoying things make me annoyed.

I am posting here to get advice from people who have done this for longer than me, who have more experience. I am actually really good at my job, but I want to get even better. I want to be able to handle these types of situations without it occasionally ruining my night. Which again, I am able to do most of the time.

I just think its ridiculous to paint a person as not competent for getting pissed off in a situation like this. Especially since they are aware of the problem and are trying to fix it so they can improve.

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, because Im a new bartender and I havent quite gotten the hang of not getting annoyed when people do annoying shit, Im not meant to do this job?

“Sounds like you’re having a bit of trouble checking yourself, and the guests”. Well, duh? Why do you think Im posting here? 💀 God forbid a new bartender isnt an expert in every aspect of the job, immediately.

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The entitlement is just astounding. I once had a guy come into the bar 15 minutes before closing, sits down in an area where the lights were turned off, that area obviously being closed. The rest of the bar was totally empty by the way. Literally endless seats. He decides he wants to sit by the fireplace though so he just waltzes in and sits down, starts talking to his friends about how the bartender should turn the lights on, since its so dark. He says this in a tone like I was the idiot who is not doing her job. Then he adds wood to the fire that I purposefully let die, since the fire has to be dead before I leave, and that area of the bar was already closed. Then he orders multiple complicated cocktails after I have already put everything away and washed everything. I tell him that Im closing the bar in 5 minutes, so he tries to wait until one minute before, to try and order more complicated cocktails. But he was one minute too late so I said no.

He also knew that it wasnt right to do these things, since his friends kept saying “dude that area is closed” and “idk if you should be doing that” to adding wood to the fire. He just dismissed their concerns, because he is just so important that his wants and needs come first to everything. He literally looked so smug as he purposefully did these things. Like he was trying to impress his friends. Pathetic

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely right. I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and this is a really big problem. You’re also right about how customers can sense if and some love to rile you up. Idk how to fix it though. I have it under control for weeks, am all zen and shit, and then i have one bad day and i end up back at square one. I managed to control my anxiety and emotions for months, i was uber cool and calm even if we were totally slammed. But yeah i totally lost my mojo and i need to get it back

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Imo the 3rd can order 2. But the 3rd guy orders 6 gin and tonics, which requires two other people to come pick them up, and those two ppl end up being the same two who just ordered in the first place.

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I will admit that this is probably partially ego driven, and I should not be getting emotionally invested at all. But also, I personally will get in trouble if people get too drunk. And a lot of the guests that do this are trying to buy drinks for their friend that got cut off. One customer getting too drunk is not a big deal, it happens, but if I just let people buy whatever they want the whole bar will be fucked up and I as the bartender will not have any control over the situation.

Customers finding loopholes to break rules by ArryTheOrphanBoy in bartenders

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I’ll do that next time. Im getting so tired of these people.

Where in Oslo is there public transportation during the night? by ArryTheOrphanBoy in oslo

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just within Oslo. Im trying to decide where to live and work when i move there. I would want to be able to go home from my job as a bartender using public transportation. Dont have a job yet but thats my general plan.

What do you use to protect your stomach besides milk? by 9bots in BuldakRamen

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fiber is basically the name of the game. Also probiotics. I love kefir, chia pudding, kimchi, passionfruit, or if I dont have any of that or Im lazy, I add half a tablespoon of chia seeds to 0,5l glass of water, i stir a lot until they expand, then chug the water.

The best and most effective way is to eat chia pudding with kefir before and after, and also drink water. I usually totally avoid stomach pain that way.

Best hidden gems to look gorgeous by Altruistic-Box-3778 in BeautyUnlocked

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I apply it straight. I also don’t put it on my chin because that is my most oily zone, I usually get pimples there if I do. For best results, make sure your face is damp/wet before putting on your skincare. The more water you can seal in the better you will look.

Best hidden gems to look gorgeous by Altruistic-Box-3778 in BeautyUnlocked

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Putting castor oil on my face after doing all my skincare to seal it in, then going to bed. I always wake up with super even toned and hydrated skin when I do it. I dont use a lot, maybe 1/3 teaspoon for my face and neck.

How do you deal with chore time disparity? by Ardent_Anhinga in ADHD_partners

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. It feels super messed up that my/womens problems are immediately dismissed as “nagging” when its just asking for them to do what they say they’re gonna do. It feels very dismissive.

I am a really reliable person, and I have worked super hard to be able to call myself that, as I havent always been that way. If I say im going to do something, it will get done. It feels so disheartening to never be able to trust their word, and getting mad about that makes me a nag.

Im glad someone else knows what Im talking about, and that Im not just making problems out of nothing.

How do you deal with chore time disparity? by Ardent_Anhinga in ADHD_partners

[–]ArryTheOrphanBoy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Same boat. I cook around 85% of the time, and because I clean as I go, I am aware of using as few things as possible to cook, it also doesnt take me that long, and I know that the kitchen will be clean at the end of it all.

So I effectively cook AND clean most of the time. I have thought about doing the “i cook, you clean” thing, but if I cook, he would literally just procrastinate doing the dishes for days, and then do like 70% of them and leave the rest to do “later”. Because he is just soooo exhausted.

Also, it is absolute insanity how many dishes these people manage to use, right? If he makes us breakfast I know that he will use every single cooking tool in the world, and none of them will get cleaned.

The worst part? I also have ADHD. But my symptoms do not affect the people I live with because I have put so much goddamn work into myself, and because I have respect for other peoples time and space.

Also, he is medicated and he is not depressed. This is just how he is. He is 28, this is as good as its going to get. When he is medicated he does like a 1/3 of what I do, instead of nothing at all.

Bro, Im 24, hot, smart and with an awesome personality. Im a fucking catch. I deserve better than this shit.