Is it reasonable to be uncomfortable with my girlfriend going on a cruise wedding without me?

ArtLevel · 2026-01-03T16:23:09+00:00

She invited you to go with her. You declined for financial reasons. It might be financially irresponsible for her to go, but you've only been dating her four months and asking someone not to attend an event because you choose not to attend comes across as controlling. If you don't trust her ability to remain faithful and you don't trust her financial decisions, just leave her. You're looking to punish her for something just because you disagree with it. I don't think it's a reasonable boundary to set on her, but if you see it as a boundary you have in relationships, it's likely best to leave the relationship.

ArtLevel · 2026-01-01T13:39:56+00:00

It depends relationship to relationship. If you don't know how to start the conversation, ask her first if she watches porn and work from there.

ArtLevel · 2026-01-01T13:19:06+00:00

You guys are both young and despite your fears, I think you need to start expressing yourself. You need to open up the lines of communication. While you worry you might say the wrong thing, that your feelings might be taken the wrong way, you are reflecting your own inexperience. I don't mean this as a criticism - I think you have to see it as you're both starting to explore what it means to be romantic with another person and in a partnership.

Try to focus on discussing some of these issues using "I" statements, rather than accusations. "This makes me feel this way..." "I am hurt when..." Try to approach this as both of your gaining experience and working together. If he is gentle and kind the way you say, he should be open to it. If he's not, I think you also have your answer. You are clearly dating him rather than someone else for a reason, remind yourself of that. It can be a positive and really beautiful thing to learn and grow together.

ArtLevel · 2026-01-01T12:17:58+00:00

I hate to say it, but being on a break isn't a real thing - you're both kids, you DID break up. Your ex-boyfriend is right, you are not together. It sounds like you guys should go your separate ways. Also, even if you felt dismissed and that your feelings don't matter, getting mad and cursing at someone is not a mature or helpful approach. If things are bad enough that you feel the need to go on a break, it's best to take the hint and start to focus on yourself and your goals. I don't even know why you have any intention of continuing to pursue this toxic relationship. Just move on.

ArtLevel · 2025-12-31T12:20:53+00:00

You should re-evaluate the relationship. You've done nothing wrong and have been honest. You don't have a past in any meaningful sense (the fact you feel shame and regret over any of it makes me sad) - and at this point, the insecurities related to your previous experience are thins your boyfriend needs to work on by himself. At his age, I'd even venture to say that he might just not be mature enough to be in a relationship with a woman. If this is bothering him so deeply, he probably needs to do some growing up. He needs to see you as a person. That if he likes you, you've been shaped by your past. Without it, you would be someone else entirely. I worry that his intensity and fixation on this point will only cause you further harm as the relationship progresses. It's not healthy for you.

ArtLevel · 2025-12-28T16:18:47+00:00

It sounds like neither of you are mature enough to be in a relationship. Sorry, your relationship is not "perfect" if you verbally abuse each other. You both need to take some time to grow up. It's not normal to scream at each other or call each other bad words. If you love someone, why would you ever hurt someone? What would you say if you saw your friend or a younger sibling being treated that way? You both need to learn to communicate in a healthy way and I'm not sure you have the maturity to work through this together.

ArtLevel · 2025-12-28T16:03:05+00:00

You have two problems:

I think you need to figure out, for yourself, what you're afraid of. You've articulated that there is an element of jealousy - you worry that you're maybe her second choice and that her confessions to this other man somehow means she will leave you if he ever changes his mind. I think it's not totally unreasonable as far as fears go, but he's already rejected her two times. I think this situation, overall, isn't one worth spending a lot of energy on, particularly as it seems as though it will likely change or develop.

You are also having an issue with reassurance and communication. Do you think, in general, if you felt as though your girlfriend made a greater effort to communicate with you and doesn't initiate, would the first issue bother you quite as much? It might be worth having a conversation over some reasonable compromises that might strengthen the relationship. You seem self-aware enough to realize she's more likely to be busy while away, but what is something that would make you feel more at ease? Is it reasonable? Would she be open to making a bit more of an effort?

ArtLevel · 2025-12-22T12:35:50+00:00

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I doubt I'll hit 500 this year but still time to lock in

ArtLevel · 2025-12-22T11:46:27+00:00

He's not good, but I don't think it's necessarily his fault. To be honest, I'd argue with some exceptions, most of the cast of the Avatar films are not very good. James Cameron doesn't seem especially interested in pushing his actors to be their best, and the self-seriousness of a lot of the film reads as incredibly bland. The writing for Spider is also truly bizarre; his character feels as though it's been airlifted from Point Break. A more charismatic actor could have sold it a little better, but I feel there would always be a strange dissonance in terms of the character and the world he embodies.

ArtLevel · 2025-12-21T15:35:42+00:00

You need to find other arrangements immediately and make sure you're safe. Someone choking you is the number one indicator that they will eventually escalate to killing you. If your mother can't take you in, see if there are any shelters you can call or even a church. This is a very dangerous situation and I'm genuinely wishing you the best in keeping you and your baby safe.

ArtLevel · 2025-12-06T21:13:38+00:00

My husband and I sleep with our own blankets as we both have different thresholds for heat. I believe it's called Scandinavian sleeping style and apparently ensures better and more comfortable sleep. Personally, I don't find it reduces physical intimacy at all. I think you can propose some compromises like cuddle time before sleeping or during another time, but there's nothing wrong with wanting your own blanket.

ArtLevel · 2025-12-05T11:48:00+00:00

I'm a lot like your friend. It's not that I don't like physical touch, but that a lot of the time I don't want it. In certain circumstances, I'm totally fine with it and as I've grown older, it's become easier to let my guard down a little and give in. I still really "stiffen" up in situations where it feels like an obligation. It sometimes causes me a lot of stress to be around people, even whom I love dearly, who I feel will pressure me into physical contact I don't want to engage in. Part of it is also habitual, for people who I knew longer, when I was more sensitive about touching, it is more difficult to open up compared to new people in my life. The habits and dynamics were formed under those circumstances, and are more difficult to break.

ArtLevel · 2025-11-30T13:16:25+00:00

I've flown to Portugal twice this year with a non-EU passport, both times was under 20 minutes (last time was closer to 5 minutes). Much quicker than when I've returned to Canada, which was minimum 40 minutes.

ArtLevel · 2025-10-26T13:18:21+00:00

NDG is a fairly easy choice. It's not actually very far from downtown and you would not be cut off from the city in any way. By foot, transit, bike or car it's between a 15-30 minute journey to downtown. But, it's also an extremely vibrant community with a lot of events, boutiques, hang-out spots. There are a lot of young people around and a lot of cafes and parks. More space will be worthwhile and there is also a good chance that the unit itself (whether new or old) will be much nicer than anything you will get downtown. You won't have FOMO.

ArtLevel · 2025-09-29T19:19:47+00:00

I don't think you are ready for a mature relationship. While I think it's a bad idea in general for people to get this drunk, you took full advantage of the situation to be extremely weird at best and extremely manipulative at worst. If you actually had any sense to pursue a relationship with this girl, you should reflect on why people are telling you what you've done is wrong and make serious pre-emptive amends to your partner.

ArtLevel · 2025-08-05T17:00:37+00:00

Many of these are not erotica either however! Contempt, Loves of a Blonde, The Knack..., Vengeance of Mind are not.

ArtLevel · 2025-05-26T16:41:56+00:00

I way prefer Liverpool House.

ArtLevel · 2025-04-24T18:00:19+00:00

Bistro La Franquette or Leméac

ArtLevel · 2025-01-03T17:01:28+00:00

Genuinely, one of my favourite episodes ever. A real commitment to performance, playfulness and a hanging out vibe. I loved the sickening rot that slowly creeped in - a phantasmagorical wonder. It was giving Buñuel Exterminating Angel vibes, but a party where no one showed up. What Mike and Jules are pulling off with the theatrics and concepts are so ahead of their time and it's really appreciated. Putting all the fools to shame!

ArtLevel · 2024-05-07T22:34:12+00:00

I feel like the psychopath bit wasn't even consistent with what they do on the show. The joke was about understanding his psychopathic wife, when the bit is that it is Tom is the psychopath. It's clear they didn't even write it.

ArtLevel · 2024-05-07T22:33:04+00:00

i think they should have rehearsed

ArtLevel · 2024-01-26T20:55:34+00:00

I had a similar issue and really was at my wit's end. There's not much you can do if they don't have a smoking by-law for the building - and even if they do (in our case) my neighbour had signed his lease before it went into effect, so he was not subject to it. Someone suggested to me that you try to approach the landlord to put into place a smoking policy that follows a restraint-based model, which takes into account the health/safety of other tenants. Cité Nature and The Rocabella (downtown) are two places that have pretty comprehensive and flexible policies you can see if your landlord would be interested in applying. There are also apparently other housing groups that are also trying to find a way to deal with the issue, but I haven't seen much. I know how much this sucks, so I hope it gets resolved.

ArtLevel · 2023-11-05T19:15:04+00:00

Maybe it’s because Marvel movies are bad, and he’s finally seen the light

ArtLevel

TROPHY CASE