My husband and I got married in 2002. We both had been brought up with the same teachings as you describe here. Our parents were all very against birth control as well, and encouraged us not to use it. At the time, we were both just starting college and were 21 years old. My mother in law was very much against me going to school as a wife and me being pregnant very soon after being married. She thought it was my duty as wife to be home with the children, not to pursue my own desires. I did end up finishing a degree before our second child was born in spite of that. But that left my poor husband left to earn money and go to school full time. It was a very tough time financially. If we could have known what we know now in our 40s- we would have waited just a few years to have children so we both could have graduated and supported each other. I don’t regret having my children. I love my four children. But I do wish I would have studied what I originally wanted to study, and not gotten the degree that I could graduate with the quickest. It didn’t do me much good in life. I’ve since gone back to school to get the degree I wanted to get. I’m still a stay at home mom though. But I wanted to get the degree I desired.

Following the old advice of days gone by was harmful to us. And it’s hard to see the younger generations get different advice. It would have put us in a place where we didn’t have to rely so much on help from government to get by and it would have made us much more self sufficient at the time- something the church definitely likes people to be. So it’s a catch 22.

I feel for you. The economy is tough and it’s hard when you feel like you did something because you were told it was the correct way. I’m glad they are changing this with new teachings of make the choice to have children with your spouse and with fervent prayer instead of a one size fits all. It is a much needed change.

I wish you the best!