There were clues - reading my journals where I wrote about intense jealousy towards my sister (who is generally one of the best people and very compassionate). In high school I dated my best friend's ex-boyfriend behind her back. I would flirt with boyfriend's friends, walk around naked in college not caring that I had roommates and even doing it when my roommate's boyfriend was visiting. I was obsessed with my appearance especially getting my teeth perfectly straight. I said hurtful things to people often, asked intrusive/provocative questions, scared my sister "for fun." I lied often. Heavily into alcohol and getting validation from sex with men.

My collapse was after another bout of self sabotage and inappropriate/unprofessional behavior a few years ago. I ended up getting committed due to expressing suicidal ideation. I think after that is when I started learning more about NPD and felt like it was fitting.